Wednesday, May 23, 2007

My Cousin Goes to Iraq, and DC Still Plays Politics With His Funding....



"To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles." - Anonymous (not Anon. Blog poster).

I got word that my cousin Christopher has completed Ranger training in Georgia, and he is on his way to Iraq as we speak. Chris is 20, and he's doing exactly what he wants to. He volunteered, not like in WWII, when my Dad and all my uncles got drafted - and one didn't come home. Ironically, Uncle Pete was almost the same age as Chris when he died. When we talk about the upsurge in troops in Iraq, we don't put a human face with it..... Chris is that face.

Perhaps it's because of Chris, that I get a little sick of the BS in Washington going on with the War Funding bill the past couple months. Is it any surprise to you that they finally are getting to finishing this mess on Memorial Day? It isn't to me.

If there's one thing politicians love, it's good timing. What better way to go home for the holiday, plant a few flags, and say "I helped the troops this week. I care." That's a big, steaming pile right there, folks. The fact is Congress could have done this months ago,but they put it off to discuss this bogus Immigration Bill, and to take time out to go on a witch hunt for Alberto Gonzales and Karl Rove. How is that going anyway???

Oh, I did forget one other part - the $20 Billion in pork the Dems extracted to get this passed. I hope the peanut farmers and paying kids at McDonalds an extra dollar an hour keeps America safe .

Rest Easy, America !

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British Study Shows That Finger Length Can Determine Your....... SAT Score ?????



By Any Standard, This Guy Doesn't Have Much of Anything......



Okay, it's the finger of a 7-year old! Yep, you can tell more than just the size of your shmekle by you finger size. According to Bath University in England (as usual), the size of your ring finger in relation to your index finger is a good determinant of how you will do on your SAT's.



The study says that those with a larger ring finger do better in Math than Verbal, and those with a longer index finger do better on Verbal than Math - no kidding! It seems that an enzyme in the brain that learns motors function and deductive reasoning also makes your ring finger longer. Stop laughing, I don't make this stuff up, I just report it.



To confirm this theory, my ring finger is longer, and I had a 510 Verbal and 640 Math back in the Cro-Magnon days of the SAT. Need disproof ??





Here is Babu'..... Big Index finger, but his English is VERY BAD MAN...... VERY BAD !!!!!

Monday, May 21, 2007

Have I Gone Pinko? Flotown Vice Chair Misses GOP Convention??




No fans, I didn't make the State Convention this weekend.......... Poor Mikey had to work on Saturday, so while everyone was politicking and making contacts, Comrade Mikhail was working for the People's Republic of Newsome. From what it sounds like, I didn't miss a whole lot.

I'm sure the Florence contingent was led well by Tommy and Shelby. If I missed anything major, tell me about it. Did Dana Perino come by? Ann Coulter ask about me? No? Well, it doesn't hurt to ask!

SC6 News: Puppy Bites Laptop Cable, Blog Site Goes Down For a Week !!



Well, it was another 'What happened to Reino" week. Busy returning to work, raising a new, not quite housebroken puppy. It seems Rocket found the power supply cable to the laptop, and got a little hungry, so I had no power until today. Thanks once again to Bobby for loaning me the power supply.
So, SC6 is back up !!
.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A Parting Poem of My Trip - I Will Think of Odessa...


Here's one last pic of Valentina for you.....
Whenever I can't find ice anywhere, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I have water that tastes like a fart, or a drink that is like a bad Coke, i will thi nk of Odessa.
Whenever I can't find a lime for my Gin & Tonic, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I drink straight lemon juice under the name "Lemon Fresh", I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I pay to use the Internet, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever a hotel is staffed with six hot staff girls, i will think of Odessa.
Whenever I pay $10 for a 5 course meal with tip, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever all the passengers applaud the plane landing successfully, i will think of Odessa.
Whenever I see a million girls dressed like mid-80's prostitutes, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I can't understand a single thing anyone is saying, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I smell fish from my hotel room, I will think of Odessa.
Whenever I go on a white-knuckle ride, clutching the dash panel for my life............Well, I'll still think of Bobby!
Is this Haiku? Prose? Limerick?
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Politics Rocks Goes Insane: Michael Used to be Such a Nice Boy...





Okay.... I see Michael Reese is still going on the offensive at Kris Crawford - and it is getting a bit offensive. I don't know what started this whole episode against him. Watching the whole Sanford/Leatherman battle has been interesting, with FITS moreso in the Sanford camp, and now it appears Reese is in the Leatherman camp.



The one part I don't get is where did Reese get the idea that Crawford was interested in running against Leatherman? At least right now. He may be cozy with Sanford, but Kris is no dummy. And Kris is rich?? Hardly. I know Crawford's neighborhood, and I've even chatted with his parents at length, and they are pretty ordinary people, and Kris is in a solid middle class area.



I won't go in great length to assure you that Crawford isn't taking on Leatherman next year, but let's say this....... if you go way, way back to my posts in Spring 2006, I said then that the Seat 63 race was a contest to see who would replace Leatherman when he retires. Crawford beat Bubby Floyd and Steve Calcutt, and the seat will be his. Maybe Sanford would like to talk Kris into it, but time is on Crawford's side, so he'll wait it out.



Will anyone have the guts to take on Leatherman? I doubt it. Maybe some businessman in Florence will try, but it's doubtful. Most Republicans here turn a blind eye to Leatherman's spending, tax hikes, and his conflicts of interest along the way.



Lastly, Kris does not look like Bill Self - here is his twin......



Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Meet My New "Soul Mate" From My Trip...


Man, do my eyes look tired! I need some sleep. Here is my new significant other - my dog, Rocket! He's a 7 week old Lab/Beagle mix. I was pretty bored at home since Snoop died, so Bobby and Jean decided to get me a puppy from the shelter. I got Rocket , and they took his brother. Now I have to figure out how to potty train him! He's actually pretty good at it already.
I did make it to the Silver Elephant Banquet last night, but the pimpleheads watching the door wouldn't let me in without a pass, and the phone had died already when I got there, so I couldn't look for you, Moye. Thanks to Mike Green for getting me a pass. SC Hotline Rules !!
I didn't eat, but I stayed for Sean Hannity, Gov. Sanford, and Lindsey Graham. Being up for 36 hours straight, I had enough. I got home , and there was Rocket, sitting on the floor.
I gotta run, he's chewing up my socks right now. Anyone have some extra rawhide bones??
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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Day 9: Boy, That Ukrainian Beer Packs a Wallop!!


For Those of You Who Don't Read Russian, The Ad Reads "Baltica Beer - No One Here Gets Out Alive!!"...
Sorry gang, no pictures today. I got tired of looking like a total tourist with the camera all the time. That and I think if I got busted taking unauthorized pictures of strange women, they might throw me in jail. You'll just have to take my word - there are a lot of good looking women here, but you better speak Russian.
After watching hockey and soccer all day, I decided to get off my ass and go to Arcadia Beach again. I hadn't seen the Black Sea yet, so I took a late taxi. It was better last night. No rain, and the saturday crowd showed up. I stopped first at a bar that was like a big patio right on the water. It was cool, and there was a girl at the next table kind of checking me out - or maybe it's because I was staring at her. Anyway, she was talking to a guy there, so I skipped out and ended up at a disco with the thumping music, and 50 people dancing like Dieter on 'Sprockets'. I was as happy as a little girl............
I'm at the bar, and these two girls were dancing with each other, so I bought them drinks. Next thing i know, I'm buying drinks for everyone. They're like 2 bucks apiece, and i was way ahead on the budget, so what the heck! It was about after my 3rd Gin and Tonic, along with the 3 pints of Baltica, that I look to my right, and there is this giant bottle of beer, laughing at me. "I've got you!! haha!! You don't know it yet, but wait til you get back to the Hotel !!" Sure enough, I got the spins a bit. Usually, you drink water, but what do you do when even the locals won't drink it? So, I've a bit of a headache today. I know, 6 drinks isn't much, but I don't drink much anymore - that's about 3 months of drinking for me in 3 hours.
Today, I'm going to take it easy, and get ready for the trip.... See you soon!
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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Ukrainian Pizza and Other Delights... I Think I'm Ready to Come Home...










Good timing , Bobby. I just had pizza last night. I've had worse - in Aynor - at Santini's Pizza - on Hwy 501.. Yeah, I know I've mentioned that before, but it bears repeating. Bad pizza man, bad pizza!




After a wasted day yesterday, and sleeping on the bed of nails known as my hotel bed, I'm in a foul mood. Valentina was busy with work - they had a Beauty Expo at her hotel, and the girls were unbelievable. I'd have taken pictures, but I was with Irina. On second thought , that shouldn't have mattered, because we hardly talked. She speaks English very well, but she and I didn't have much to chat about I guess, so that's over with. Here are the highlights....






this is the Dnipro Princess, a tour boat that goes from Kiev to Odessa. That's Irina walking 50 feet in front of me - generally not a good sign on how the date is going.












This is the Chapel for the Sailors. Odessa has a huge Naval Academy - it's like the Annapolis of Eastern Europe, and sometimes they don't come home. I'm surprised the Soviets never tore it down.







Well, we sat and watched the boats go by, before we decided this was going nowhere. I got a taxi, and the traffic was terrible. That's when his car (which he had to restart about 50 times because it kept stalling) finally overheated. No problem, he just jumped the car on the sidewalk, and tried driving there to cool it off! No dice. It died, and I got a free trip all the way to 3 blocks from the hotel!



As for today, I don't know . We'll see what's up with Val later on, and I'm going to get some Pepsi, and try to get some sleep! I almost forgot........



Yeah, it's just another picture of Brooke Burke, but she'll do in a pinch..

Friday, May 11, 2007

Superman Returns !! I End the Chechen War, Reunite Yushchenko and Yanukovich, and Still have Enough Time for Two Dates.......All In a Day's Work !























Russian leader Vladimir Putin shows reporters that he has finally taught Ukrainian President Yushchenko to 'stay, Boy, stay'.




I told you guys that I was here on business... Yep, after a couple days of rest and relaxation, I finally got down to business and fixed Eastern Europe. Now the area will be safe for democracy, and all the world can live in peace - just like in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"... Truth be told, it was quite easy.


Part I - Fixing Ukraine.

This was not too hard. Yuschenko and Yanukovich (is he related to Weird Al?) are deadlocked. So what do you do in that case? Kill one of them. now, since we don't condone assassinations here, there was only one choice - Ukrainian cage Match to the Death. Neither one was too thrilled, but Putin signed off on it, so it's happening. We're going to sell it on Pay-per-View, and all the money will go to make ice. Thank God.




Part II - Chechnya.


If you think was easy, think again. That Putin is a stubborn little bugger! We short guys always are... But after a couple hours, I said to him, "Vlad, buddy - it's frickin' CHECHNYA!!" , and it just stuck. I surprised myself on that one. Seriously , what is in Chechnya? Kazhakstan has the oil, and Ukraine has the agriculture and Natural Gas. What is in Chechnya? Case Closed. Actually, I think Chechnya is overwith,but I'll take credit for it anyway.




Part III - Important Business


I got a call from Valentina at 100, asking if we could meet at 200 - she told her boss it was "an emergency". I hope that poor girl still has a job today..... So, the two of us and her interpreter went to the same place I was two days ago, and we chatted and took pictures. I got her flowers ( a bouquet of lilacs goes for 60 cents here!!). Then we went to Boulevard, a cafe with a 1920's theme - very classy. But time ran out, I turned into a pumpkin and she had to go back to work. Here's a picture...






Valya looks like a Long Island housewife on her way for a morning powerwalk! Kristina is pretty cute too, but she's engaged.






Next, it was onto my date with Irina. Irina is pretty tall (about 5'9), and she is very fluent in English. She took a taxi bus all the way from Izmail - about 90 miles away , which i paid for. The trip tired her out a bit, so we went to dinner at another Ukrainian restaurant, which was awesome. Things were a bit quiet at first, but she suggested some wine and of course I picked out a $25 bottle of Pinot Grigio ( which is almost impossible to do there). Well, by the time we killed that wine, things were much better. I had this cake for dessert that was unbelieveable. This was not a cheap date. Dinner with tip was about $120. By the time dinner was over, she was pooped, so i got dropped off, and she took the taxi to a friend's. Maybe not the best result, but we're going out again this morning, so i need to finish this up.


I took this picture in the dark outside the restaurant, so it's a bit fuzzy.






Ok, that's it for now. Where are you today, Moye???
.










Thursday, May 10, 2007

Day 5: Them Ukrainians Have Some Funny Habits.....


This is either my first car wreck since I got here, Or It's one BITCHIN' game of bumper cars!!
Yeah, Europeans all drive like lunatics..... But I'm telling you, being here has shown me some real odd superstitions and oddities . Then again, Romania is just 100 miles down the road, and they still believe in Dracula!! Here's what I've noticed.....
Cars Rule...... Yep. No one has any, but those who do rule every inch of pavement. They run red lights, make up lanes that don't exist, and go up on curbs if need be. On the other hand, Ukrainians will not jaywalk or cross the street on red, even if a car is not in sight.
This Is the Ukraine, Right? I think I'm the only person in the country that doesn't speak Russian. Maybe it's my accent, but whenever I ask a question, I get blank " What are you ****ing saying" looks.
Is this a Taxi, or al-Qaida? Very few taxis are marked. In essence, you are hitchhiking around here. So far, no one has kidnapped me!
TV? What is That? they have TV, but no one watches it. Why? Because it sucks. Thirty cable channels, and all it is are old Soviet propaganda movies, and ten year old MTV videos from the Russian Tiffany. There was a good reason I was watching "Married With Children"......... It was the best thing on.
Y'all Eat Some Weird Stuff... Most of the food is pretty normal. They eat a lot healthier than we do, but some stuff is scary. Fish Jerky? I kid you not. If Fish Jerky were edible, Ted Nugent would have been doing it years ago. They do have breakfast sausage, but it's not uncommon to see Hot Dogs on the breakfast buffet. Bobby, you MIGHT like it here..
Back in Black.... Everyone wears black, all the time. It's seventy-five degrees out? Doesn't matter. It's the law. It reminds me of the old Wendy's commercial...."SVIMWEAR !! VERY NICE !!" I wore a blue polo shirt and khakis yesterday, and I was getting 'bump and swiped' every five minutes at the market.
Water is Bad.... They don't drink regular water here. It's almost exclusively mineral water - the fart smelling stuff. They only people I know who drin k that in America are people in rehab. I guess after the KGB was here, I wouldn't drink the water either. I haven't touched the H2O either, but that's so I don't get the poops.
Ice Is Satan..... This is the best one of all. They don't leave windows open, they don't chill stuff, and they don't put ice in or on ANYTHING. I had a Gin & Tonic at room temperature last night - terrible. Cokes? Same way. No wonder no one likes it here. I'd hate Pepsi if it were at 68 degrees too. I guess it relates to the black dress thing too. Cold is bad, cold makes you sick, cold will kill you - So keep that black jacket on, and let that ice melt!! Come to think of it, I haven't seen an ice cube since I got here....
Well, today's another big day. The hot water is gone 'til midnight, and I haven't heard from Valentina, but Irina is coming into town this afternoon. By the way, it's 430 AM where you guys are - wake up!!
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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Just to Clear Stuff Up, It Wasn't Me Who Said Crawford Will Run Against Leatherman....


I'll be respectful and not use the Baby New Year picture this time. I got a chance to catch up on the latest in Florence, and I see that someone is spreading poop that Kris Crawford will run against Hugh Leatherman in '08, and that it came from a blogger in SC. Well, as much as I might like to see some protest vote next year, I'm not starting it, and It sure wouldn't be Kris doing it.
Why not? Because Kris knows he is Hugh's heir apparent if he decides to keep his seat into his 80's (the Sen. will be 81 by the end of his next term). Why would Kris possibly lose his current seat when the guarantee is there in 5 years??
The main reason that I m posting on this is for my own butt. Not being there right now, I can fathom people talking to people and saying that it was my blog, and by Monday, it will be fact. Then someone might ask me to give up my party job. That's not happening, and no one else wants the gig anyway. Not that I'm going on the offensive here, but I'm more used to how politics goes on. I personally haven't read about anyone specific running next year - if you do, let me know - not that I care either way...
ok, back to the party........
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Odessa Day 4: I Do the "Tourist Thing"...





Check It Out, Earl......... They Sell Beer Right In the Street !!






With yesterday being the set-up day for the rest of the week, I decided to do the dull thing and see the sights. Yes, Bobby - I got a picture of Vorontsov Lighthouse. Being about 300 years old, nearly every building in Odessa is a historical landmark, so i tried to discriminate and cut down time. By the way, I ran out of black clothes, so everyone knew I was a tourist. Here's a few highlights.............








As soon as I got out of the cab, this guy came up. My first thought was, "Why is Gary Sinise in Odessa holding a monkey?" So, I haggled him down to $2 to take his picture. I told him make the monkey gets 50%. There are also guys with snakes , lizards, and a man dressed like Nikolai the Great.









This is a statue of Julius Caesar, who discovered Odessa in the late 15th Century, right before he was defeated by the Vikings and banished to Bolivia....

















Here is the Famous Opera House, where Abraham Lincoln was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald, thus ending the Spanish-American War. Guess it took awhile.....















And of course, the Alamo. You can tell it's the Alamo by the cannon in front. I need to check on some of these things the tour guide told me. By the way, there is no basement in the Alamo. Large Marge told me so!!





And lastly, the ladies. I could probably waste 10 rolls of film on women walking around this town. Generally, they dress a bit trashy, and they like the peroxide too much, but most of them are thin, and I like 'em skinny!!














Okay, my hour of Internet time is up........ Do Pobachennya!!

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

I'll Never Complain About Enterprise Again.... AKA, My Feet Hurt !


You are looking LIVE !! at the famous Privoz Market in Odessa - where you can get anything from shoes, to shoes, to flowers, to shoes, to bottles of soda, to shoes. This was the only thing I got a chance to take pictures of yesterday, because nothing went right!
I had plans: get the rental car, hook up with Valentina and get in touch with the other girl I know. Alas, the best laid plans of mice and men........ did I say laid? Oops! Well, the first taxi drivers cra died a block after I got in. The second was fine - I thought he was saying 60 hryvnia, but he was saying 16 - about 3 dollars. Well, the building that was the right color and address looked like Al-Zarqawi was hiding in it, so we kept driving. I finally found Sixt Rental, which was in a garage owned by a couple guys who looked like the Russian Mafia - and they did not like me. Well, the person who runs the place was not in yet (or she was dead), so I left. Of course, my taxi was long gone by then.......
Thus began the great trek. I had no idea where I was going exactly, but I was pretty sure i was going towards downtown. I made it there, but I still had no idea where I was, so I gave in... Forgive me guys, I HAD TO USE A MAP !!!!! There I was, sitting on the corner, like an idiot, while everyone was yelling, "Stupid American, Stupid American!! Bush is Bad" - OK, not really. At least I had the foresight to bring the map. It turns out I was on the right street to get back to the hotel - lucky me. By that time I still hadn't heard from either girl (Valentina had to work, and Irina will call today), so I called it a day, and iced my knees off.
Dinner at the hotel was good - salad, marinated chicken, cocoanut covered fruit with ice cream and green tea - $20 with tip. Yummy! I also found a store that sells Pepsi. That's it for today. See you all soon!!
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Does this Look Familiar?? Guess We All Want to Be Americans....


I tried to put this on as a video clip, but I'm stupid......Where's Bobby when you need him! Anyway, if this looks familiar, it should...... It's a Ukrainian version of "Married With Children"!! All the characters are the same, just different names. They even have the dog, and the set looks the same too.
The guy who plays Al Bundy does a good job, right down to the crotch grab. Peggy is a bit different, but she is hotter looking. I saw this, and I laughed my ass off! Just had to share it with you. I'll try to add the file when I get back.

Monday, May 07, 2007

SC6 Live from Odessa - Eat, Drink, and Bring a Spring Jacket !!




The Sun is out, and it's a beautiful Monday here in the Ukraine. Of course, you guys are still sleeping! Yesterday was the first day out for me. I met my friend Valentina and her interpreter (who was pretty cute as well), and we went for an authentic Ukrainian dinner. I didn't bring a jacket, and the girls said I had to get one, or I would get sick. Funny, my ex never gave a damn if I didn't wear a coat...


On to the restaurant... I wanted a Coke (I haven't seen Pepsi here at all), but they said that Coke is bad for you, so they suggested that I have Kvas. It's some kind of fermented bread drink that looks like Coke, but it definitely is not Coke! Not terrible, just okay. These girls then went ape shit on the menu - I had Borscht with Garlic knots, Salad, Chicken Ravioli, Potato Latkes , Fish and Cheesecake w/ cherries. Then I exploded...... The total? $62 , including tip for all three of us.


Being late on Sunday, most of the city was closing, so we made a quick stop at a museum, and took some pictures. Today, we hook up again for more fun, and a bit of sightseeing. Here's a picture from dinner..
Not too shabby, eh ???
Be back tomorrow !!!!!!!

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Greetings From Cloudy Odessa!! Geez, You Guys Worry a Lot..


I made it..... now stop worrying! This is the view from my balcony at the hotel. The flat building is the famous Privoz Market. It looks a lot like the Charleston Market, but they don't have any Gullah ladies selling baskets for $175!! I got in yesterday afternoon, and it took a while to get straight.
The travel went better than expected. I hadn't gone through customs before, so i was pretty stupid. I told them I wasn't hiding anything, but they didn't believe, so my ass still hurts a little...The flight from Charlotte was great. The Airbus 330-a has everything. Personal radio stations, two movies, and drinks every five minutes. The Sat Nav on the TV screens is pretty good too. There were only two problems: I sat in the back row for all the flights, and I almost lost my Ziploc bag with my prescriptions in it. The Cust. Svc. girl in Vienna told me it wasn't there (BS), so I went back to the gate myself, and they had it.
The last leg from Vienna to Odessa was funny. You have to get on a shuttle to the plane. It was an Boeing 737, but it was still in good shape. Ukrainians are funny. When the plane lands, they all clap - like it's a miracle they made it!
I missed the currency exchange at the hotel, so I had the doorman take me to one to get some Hryvnia. I can hear a new P. Diddy song - "It's All About the Hryvnia, Baby!!". When we got back, the other doorman asked me I needed a girl.......I'll pass on that right now.
I'll go for now. my hour on the internet is about up. I'll see more of the city today, so see you tomorrow!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

One Last Post Before I Write Again From the Other Side...



"Dogs and Cats......Living Together........MASS HYSTERIA !!!!!!!"

MR , 5/3/07..

Hi, I'm Zach De La Rocha, and I Used to Be Important... Will Someone Please Listen to Me???!!!!


Poor Zach de la Rocha...... Zach de la Who you ask , Moye?? Zach was the lead vocalist for Rage Against the Machine - one of the more influential bands of the 90's. Incorporating their Rock/Funk style, mixed with de la Rocha's educational/misinformed raps, Rage had a real nice run 10 years ago. Then came what happens to most bands....... Some idiot told de la Rocha that he was the star, and he quit and decided to go solo. Haven't heard any of his solo efforts? You're not the only one.
Well, the rest of the band found (enter sarcasm) a little guy named Chris Cornell from alittle band called Soundgarden. They went and made Audioslave, arguably this decade's supergroup. It was obvious after listening to Audioslave that they kept Guitarist Tom Morello's raw style, but the incendiary lyrics of de la Rocha were gone. Two multi-platinum albums later, they're still around.
Last week, someone from the Salvation Army or maybe First Harvest asked Rage to stage reunion concert for some fundraiser - most likely to help de la Rocha buy a Mr. Microphone. De la Rocha , being the flamethrowing idiot that he is, felt it was a good time to make a statement - like executing the President. Nice! :(
It's been a quiet few years for Zach, but I'm sure that the rest of his old bandmates are glad that this was a One Night Stand. Luckily, Zach will be stuffed back into the I Love the 90's closet along with The Spice Girls and Party of Five. Love ya, Zach - be a stranger!!!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Hundreds Fall Ill at Clyburn's Fish Fry... The Food Was Fine, But the BS Was Too Much for Some....


"You Want a BBRRRAAGGHH!!! , Uh, Beer With That?"




Slowly, the truth of what happened at Friday Night's Fish Fry is coming out. Reports are coming in that hundreds of attendees at Congressman Jim Clyburn's World Famous Fish Fry were nearly sent to the hospital. While the root cause has not been given by those in charge of the event, word on the street is that having to listen to the Democratic Presidential Candidates was simply too much for some attendees......




"I'm telling you... It was like Jonestown in there. People were dropping like flies from all the BS these guys were spewing. Next thing I know, everyone was spewing. It was a nightmare", said an attendee who would not give his/her name , fearing telemarketers from the candidates....




Others were less fearful. " I'm here for some free fish and beer... Why do I have to listen to Hillary and Barack and Edwards kiss Jim's booty? We know they don't care. If they think they're gonna buy my vote with fish, they're kidding themselves. I got a friend in Greeleyville who gets $20 for every vote he casts. The smell of BS was palpable. I was in the Gulf War, Man. I never saw anything like tonight. If they want my vote, my phone number is ***-****. Come with cash!!".




While too much Fish and Beer can cause mild illness, it's reaction with the type of verbal assault given by a typical Presidential candidate can have a synergystic effect. According to Dr. Alvin Pequash, a noted interist, " Being forced to listen to politicians for too long can cause symptoms similar to motion sickness........ Add Fish and Beer, and the result is inevitable. You'd have an easier time eating fish and beer on a Merry-go-Round."




Although there is no longer any evidence of the tragedy in the parking garage anymore, thanks to the extra hoses and brooms brought in, one wonders if Clyburn will make the same mistake in '08. "I doubt this will happen again", said one victim. "By April next year, all these jokers should be back wherever they came from, Thank God".