Day 5: Them Ukrainians Have Some Funny Habits.....

This is either my first car wreck since I got here, Or It's one BITCHIN' game of bumper cars!!

Yeah, Europeans all drive like lunatics..... But I'm telling you, being here has shown me some real odd superstitions and oddities . Then again, Romania is just 100 miles down the road, and they still believe in Dracula!! Here's what I've noticed.....

Cars Rule...... Yep. No one has any, but those who do rule every inch of pavement. They run red lights, make up lanes that don't exist, and go up on curbs if need be. On the other hand, Ukrainians will not jaywalk or cross the street on red, even if a car is not in sight.

This Is the Ukraine, Right? I think I'm the only person in the country that doesn't speak Russian. Maybe it's my accent, but whenever I ask a question, I get blank " What are you ****ing saying" looks.

Is this a Taxi, or al-Qaida? Very few taxis are marked. In essence, you are hitchhiking around here. So far, no one has kidnapped me!

TV? What is That? they have TV, but no one watches it. Why? Because it sucks. Thirty cable channels, and all it is are old Soviet propaganda movies, and ten year old MTV videos from the Russian Tiffany. There was a good reason I was watching "Married With Children"......... It was the best thing on.

Y'all Eat Some Weird Stuff... Most of the food is pretty normal. They eat a lot healthier than we do, but some stuff is scary. Fish Jerky? I kid you not. If Fish Jerky were edible, Ted Nugent would have been doing it years ago. They do have breakfast sausage, but it's not uncommon to see Hot Dogs on the breakfast buffet. Bobby, you MIGHT like it here..

Back in Black.... Everyone wears black, all the time. It's seventy-five degrees out? Doesn't matter. It's the law. It reminds me of the old Wendy's commercial...."SVIMWEAR !! VERY NICE !!" I wore a blue polo shirt and khakis yesterday, and I was getting 'bump and swiped' every five minutes at the market.

Water is Bad.... They don't drink regular water here. It's almost exclusively mineral water - the fart smelling stuff. They only people I know who drin k that in America are people in rehab. I guess after the KGB was here, I wouldn't drink the water either. I haven't touched the H2O either, but that's so I don't get the poops.

Ice Is Satan..... This is the best one of all. They don't leave windows open, they don't chill stuff, and they don't put ice in or on ANYTHING. I had a Gin & Tonic at room temperature last night - terrible. Cokes? Same way. No wonder no one likes it here. I'd hate Pepsi if it were at 68 degrees too. I guess it relates to the black dress thing too. Cold is bad, cold makes you sick, cold will kill you - So keep that black jacket on, and let that ice melt!! Come to think of it, I haven't seen an ice cube since I got here....

Well, today's another big day. The hot water is gone 'til midnight, and I haven't heard from Valentina, but Irina is coming into town this afternoon. By the way, it's 430 AM where you guys are - wake up!!

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