Out of Jail, and On the Job Already.... Paris Hilton Turns In Her First Report: Sam Brownback !!

MEEEOOOOOOOWWWW !!!!

Wow! Less than a week out of jail, and Paris Hilton already has her first Erection 2008 Candidate report done. Maybe she IS turning over a new leaf, but from that tape I saw, I kinda liked it when she turned over..... UGH !!!

SC6: Paris, before you give your first report, tell us - What was it like doing Larry King Live??

PH: He smells like Vapo-Rub.

SC6: Yeah, i've heard that before...... Were you worried about what questions he might ask?

PH: Not really.. like, my Mom and Dad already told him what he could and couldn't ask before the taping...

SC6: Gotcha.. I love a good game of softball when i know I'm gonna win before the game too.. So, tell us about Sam Brownback...

PH: Brownback Mountain?? I LOVE that movie !! Heath Ledger is a hottie , and Jake Gyllenh.... uh, that other guy has the sexiest eyes! I didn't like it when they kissed in that film, but I've seen worse. Did you ever see Cameron Diaz at a Red Carpet event? Who's her designer, Gianni Versucky?? it's like, 'Look, I weigh 60 pounds , I haven't seen daylight in a year, and I shop at Big Lots'.....

SC6: Paris sweetie, that's Brokeback Mountain.... We're talking about Senator Sam BROWN-back from Kansas. He's running for President.

PH: Whaaaaaat ? Who's he?

SC6: Ok, we'll help you.... Some people say that his candidacy is impotent now, because his views are similar to first tier candidate Fred Thompson. What's the real story?

PH: Fred?!! Ha, ha! Back when I was a kid, Nicky and I used to hang out and go clubbing in the Hamptons, and we'd dance to 'I'm Too Sexy' and drink Long Island Iced Teas all night !!

SC6: That's Right Said Fred, not Fred Thompson....... and weren't you like 12 when that song came out?

PH: Maybe...

SC6: The train is way off track here, Paris . What about Sam Brownback ??

PH: Uh, whoever he is, he needs a new publicist, 'cause nobody I know has heard of him. Might I suggest Lizzie Grubman, or that guy from 'Entourage'....... They Rock !

SC6: Well, it took awhile, but in the end, Paris is right on the ball......... Ahem.. Stay tuned for Paris' next report on the Presidential candidates as Erection 2008: The Candidates With a Hard-On for the Presidency ( Except One) continues.............

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