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Talk about something enlightening today. Not that it's ever been said to me, but the saying 'he's hung like a bear' was always supposed to be a compliment. Well, that may not be true after all... How do I know now? I'll tell you.
At the Kushiro Municipal Zoo, the staff were getting a bit miffed at why polar bears Tsuyoshi and Kurumi weren't working at making baby bears. They had been paired for six months , and neither showed much interest in the other. Nothing worked - roses, wine, all the Tom Jones records. No luck at all....
Finally, they checked out Tsuyoshi out, and found out that 'he' actually was a female, just like Kurumi. Maybe they should have played Melissa Etheridge instead.. How do you screw up a seven foot tall animal's sex? Easy. Polar Bears actually are like the Japanese - they have very small pee-pee's. Guess that's why they love Polar Bears there so much...
Polar bears weenies are like a dog's - it a bit nubby, with a bone that grows out when they get horny. the main problem is all the hair that covers a polar bear's body - you can't see anything! So, why not just inspect the bear by looking at it? You try getting a bear to let you check out his Johnson......
Now for the gross part. What is the most effective way to tell a bear's sex from far away? The Pee Stain on the fur. Yep, just look for the yellow spot. It's usually towards the front for the guys, and underneath for the girls. Simple enough, but not always reliable, because even some male bears squat to pee. Disgusted yet? PEE PEE. POLAR BEAR PEE PEE URINE !!!
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7 comments:
hey Mike...thanks for the visual there on what a polar bear hard-on looks like. i think i feel my applebees dinner coming back up.
oh...i guess this could end the "does a bear shit in the woods" arguement....he goes on the polar ice cap too.
sounds like a pee dee joke
A Polar Bear shits wherever he wants to !! POLAR BEAR PEE PEE !!!
Sumter and I seen a Polar Bear in Alaska a couple of years ago standing up they are huge
How big was his Unit?
HOW TO CATCH A POLAR BEAR!
1. cut a large enough hole in the ice for bear to fit through.
2. place frozen peas around the cut out hole.
3. stand back and wait
4. when the bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole!
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