Hitting the Mark, Guys .....

Yes, We Are Compelled To Teach Guys How to Pee In Toilets.. And Mankind Takes a Step Back.


      For starters, if you want to pee in a toilet with photos of women staring in amazement at your Johnson, you'll have to go to Queensland, New Zealand.  OK, we'll explain our motivation.  I spend almost 12 hours a day at work, so eventually, i gotta go hit the head. Sometimes, it's Number One, and sometimes I gotta sit to shit.. There are a couple semi-private employee bathrooms we get to use. You'd think that knowing you share a toilet with co-workers would make you a bit more responsible.  Uhh, not quite....


    On almost a daily basis, the toilet is almost untenable.  We have guys who can't piss in a Corn Riser from a ladder... We're not talking about a drop from shaking... On the lid. All over the lid. On the floor. I once saw piss in the sink. I shit you not.  So, in the interest of consideration of harmony, cleanliness and common friggin' sense, we submit some simple tips to our guys to teach them what their Momma's apparently didn't. Hitting The Mark...


Rule 1: Flip Your Lid

     Guys, I hate to say it, but the women are right on this.  Flipping the lid up is actually a free pass to piss like a fire hose.  I couldn't care less about piss on the bottom of the toilet , just leave the lid clean for me.  Of course, put it back down when done - for the ladies...



Rule 2: Focus, Daniel-San

     Simply put, pay attention, dammit!  I don't know what planet some people allow their minds to drift off to when peeing, but obviously, it ain't on keeping it on the head.  Thirty seconds of attention is all we're asking for. After that, you can trail off to Neverland again. Mr. Miyagi would be proud.....



Rule 3: Aim Small, Miss Small

    Quite possibly the only good advice Mel Gibson ever gave, his quote from 'The Patriot' applies not only to shoot a rifle, but taking a leak as well.  Yeah, there's plenty of room to hit a 1/2 inch wide stream into a 18 x 28 inch wide area, but for some of you, that still ain't enough.  Pick a spot, and be a good soldier and hit the target...


Perhaps we need to make pissing more interesting to guys for them to do a better job.  Maybe a video game toilet that gives points for total input into the toilet. Picture it..... 'Hey Joe, how'd that piss go?'  'Max Flow, Dude.  I scored a 782!!'.   I think i just found my million dollar idea.  Maybe not, although that might do well in Las Vegas... Until then, just leave my seat clean. I'm not asking - I'm begging......

.