NASCAR Champ Breaks Wrist... Advocates Call for Seatbelts on Golf Carts !

NASCAR Nextel Cup Champion Jimmie Johnson was injured today at a charity golf tournament when he fell out of a golf cart and broke his wrist. He will not be allowed to drive a racecar for about a month, but luckily it was his left wrist - what racers call his "non-shifting hand". Probably a little more info than I wanted....

This latest event has caused proponents of golf cart safety to call on installation of seat belts on golf carts. Claudio Agnetti, former golf cart racer and President of Golf Cart Racer Advocates for Protection (G-CRAP), has spoken out for years on cart safety. "G-CRAP's position has always been to focus on driver protection. Hundreds of people are injured every year on golf carts all across the nation. Of course, those NASCAR Guys are a bunch of hot dogs. Maybe this will straighten them out." Asked about the nature of the accidents, Agnetti replied "It runs the entire gamut: skinned knees, flyaway clubs, spilled drinks...... those NASCAR boys might change their minds when one of them sprain's an ankle one of these days."

Excessive speed might be only a contributing factor, but it seems to be the only one advocates are willing to address at this point. When asked about banning alcoholic beverages on golf carts, Agnetti said, " Now that's just wrong..... there has to be some element of risk." For now, you are welcome to ride a golf cart unprotected.........IF YOU DARE !!!!!!!

Jimmie Johnson

1975-2006..........almost.

The Hit List: Who to Look Out for With Florence County's Highway Money......

With all of the focus on who won and who lost (like me!), the passing of the 1% Sales Tax Hike to match the State Infrastructure Bank money set aside f or Florence County. To reiterate my position, deep down, the infrastructure bank is an unfair program, where statewide tax dollars are funneled to improve roads in the more urban cities in South Carolina. However, improving roads in Florence County will be key to it's future growth. Like about 55% of residents in Florence, I voted for it.

It's cost taxpayers about $128 million, with the State chipping in $250 million. That's a lot of jack, folks.. From day one, I have warned about some politicians who have pushed for his tax increase, but haven't really told the voters how they personally can benefit. Now I have nothing against a person making money, but for those of you who can't understand why people spend $500k running for an office that pays $10,000 a year - now you know why they do it... With that, here are a few politicians to look out for when the cash comes through:

Rusty Smith: Florence County Council.

Smith is Chairman of County Council, and heis the owner of K.G. Smith Rentals in Lake City. How he'll benefit is pretty easy: The road builders will not have all the equipment needed, so they'll go to Rusty and rent it from him. Why do I not trust him? Smith has long taken advantage of his office for his benefit. His home has been undertaxed for years, and his father was County Treasurer, who was forced from office for improper conduct in office.

Frank Willis: Mayor, City of Florence.

Yep, the man who almost was Governor ( if you count getting half the votes of Oscar Lovelace almost) is ready to cash in too. Willis owns Willis Construction, so there will be plenty of his trucks on the job sites. Since he didn't get enough votes to get to Columbia, maybe he can make enough to get there. No doubt his wife would love that...





Sen. Hugh Leatherman, Florence.

If anyone was pushing for the tax hike, it was Leatherman. And for good reason.......... Leatherman owns Wyboo Investments, which includes Florence Concrete Products, and a boatload of concrete will be used in the next seven years. The amount of money that he will make scares me. Now the question that comes up is: "doesn't the DOT board choose the contractors?" Yes, they do, and Hugh has that loophole tied up too. His son in law is on the board, now serving his 3rd term - which is illegal by the way. I've had a slew of feelings with regards to him, and this project. Do I thank him for getting the money, even though I don't like the program? Do I get disgusted with how much he spent to get this vote passed, knowing that he will probably make millions?

Mike Reino - Private Citizen, Florence, SC.

How's this for honesty? I'll probably make a couple extra dollars. We'll have lots of trucks coming into town, trucks break, and I'll be there to fix 'em. Sure, I'd make more money if we raised the sales tax 1% to subsidize auto repairs - but I'm not a Senator....

Rocky Balboa: I'm Italian, and Even I Don't Want to See This Junk!!

Even Mason Dixon Can't Look at Rocky Balboa.......

There's nothing like going out on top.......or maybe one movie too many , or two. Maybe I don't get it, but what exactly is the premise of this new Rocky movie? He is old? Did that last movie..... Fights a black man? Done in 1,2, and 3...... Fights an unbeatable champ? Uh, all four of them!!

I can't really see where this one is going, but here's a suggestion. Rocky is about 65 by now, so he fights Dixon for his Social Security check. Everything goes ok for Rocco, until reality happens when a septagenarian fights the Heavyweight Champ - he literally gets killed by one of Dixon's punches. End of Story, End of Series. Thank God. Rocky is buried once and for all, and he stops embarrassing Italians for good. Anyone here ever see Eddie Murphy's "Raw"? That's what is was like for me, thanks to lugheads like Sly. At least "The Godfather" made it look like we had brains.

Another thing: No Adrian, no movie.

Recommendations That Didn't Make The Iraq Study Group's List.....

1. Speed Up Iraqi Army training by buying 50,000 X-Box's at Best Buy.

2. Create trust with the people by giving them what they really want........KFC's "Magic Bucket".

3. Divide Iraq by playing Assad/Al-Maliki/Ahmadinejad, a new version of "Paper/Rock/Scisssors".

4. Cut Saddam Hussein a break - let him finally be center square on his "Baghdad Squares" Trial.

5. Improve Iraqi Army training by making them "Really Super Duper Soldiers".

6. The Cowboy Way - Black hats for Sunnis, White hats for Shiites.

7. The Playground Way - Yell "Do Over!!"

8. A Real Do Over......

With Inventive Scams Like These, it's a Wonder Communism Failed..

Everyone has heard of the Russian mail order bride deal.... Where girls named Olga, Svetlana and Natasha leave their homes and hook up with guys in America that they don't even know, in the hope of a better life. Shortly afterwards, came the scammers.

If you've ever done business in Russia, you know what I mean. Since the fall of Communism, the amount of black market and disreputable business in Russia has been insane. I had to buy a bunch of document software, and Russia was the only place it came from. Until I got the stuff, I was sure that Sergei had taken off with my $2000 and gone on vacation.

The bride scam is like that. You get some anonymous e-mail from a girl who looks like Maria Sharapova, saying that she thinks your are "looking good, pardon my bad English".... Within two e-mails, she is in love with you, and then comes some sob story about how she needs money for her sick mother, or chess lessons. End of fun.

Well, I got another one this week, so I decided to play along. I hadn't been asked for any money yet, and I couldn't figure out the angle. She wants to come to America, she can get a job, and they'll put her up - so where is the catch?? I decided to go to the Russian Brides Scam website (yes , there actually is one), and I looked on the blacklist. Sure enough, there was Natalia, along with e-mails she sent to guys that were almost word for word like mine. So I looked up what letter she would send next... It seems that she will get to Moscow, but run out of cash for the plane flight, so I'll need to send it via Western Union. OOPS!! Sorry, honey, out of cash? It's a long walk back to Siberia I guess!!

Too bad it won't work out, because here's what she looks like...

Anyone have $800 I can borrow ???????

Rock Star: Jim Clyburn Finals , With a Special Clyburn/Bono Duet!!

Yes, it's finally here - The final installment of Rock Star: Jim Clyburn ! Tommy Lee, Kurt Loder and James Carville have all done their jobs, now it is up to Jim himself to pick his newest intern. Jim and his close buddy Bono are tuning up, so let's pass it on to our lovely hostess, Brooke Burke !!

Brooke: Hi, and welcome to Rock Star: Jim Clyburn... After two grueling rounds, at least for me, Todd and Ja'Ron have made it to the Finals, where one of them will win a dream job: the chance to be a lackey intern for the House Majority Whipmaster. The duties are tough; gassing up the tank on Jim's taxpayer-paid Lincoln, repeatedly lying to constituents about the congressmen's voting record, and running to Starbuck's for Jim's favorite: the Half-Calf Decaf Double Mochaccino Latte'. Don't ask me to say it again!!

Since we are in the Finals, we don't have a reward round - but we have a special treat for you. A live duet with Jim Clyburn, and his favorite artist, Bono from U2!!

Jim: Thanks Brooke, and may I say - You Are BANGING!!

Brooke: Uh, thanks Jim.... Bono, what made you appear here?

Bono: Well, a major focus of mine has been relieving the debt of Third World countries, and Jim has been very supportive of helping out countries in Africa and the Caribbean.

Brooke: Hey Jim.. By just writing off this debt, don't we eventually worsen our own debt, and saddle our children's future??

Jim: Uh.......Maybe.

Brooke: Just asking. Well, here they are ...... Bono and J Cly , with their own version of Still haven't Found What I'm looking For..........

Bono: I have climbed highest mountains, I have run through the fields, only to be with you, only to be with you..........

Jim: I have kissed Nancy's bum, I lie to Seniors, 'cause they're dumb, just keep believing me, just keep believing me. And that bridge will get built, 'cause I love that Pork!!

Bono: Hey, that's not how we practiced it!!

Jim: Hey Bono, you talk kinda funny....... do you like Lucky Charms??

Bono: I speak ENGLISH !! What the hell language are you speaking in??

Jim: C'mon Bono, say it.........GET IN MY BELLY !!!! GET IN MY BELLY !!!! I'm J Cly, and I'm a frickin' STAR !!!!

Brooke: Uh, we better take a break here.... Wait a second, and we'll have the final question, and I'll change outfits again... CUT !!!!!

tick, tock....

Brooke: OK, we've locked Bono in a closet for his own protection, and we're ready to ask Todd and Ja'Ron the question which will determine who wins, and who goes home...Ja'Ron will go first.......Jim, the floor is yours.

Jim: Saloma malechem, my brother. Ja'Ron, for 250 years, african americans were held in bondage against their will in slavery by America. Some believe that the descendants of those people are entitled to reparations. An important part of being on staff is knowing your boss' position on an issue.... what is my position on reparations?

Ja'Ron: I read a comment from you on this. You are against reparations in principle..

Jim: Uh......... that ......isn't .........quite........... right.

Ja'Ron: What? I saw it! You're against suing for reparations!!!

Jim: Not exactly, son....

Brooke: I'll need silence here, because the question now goes to Todd - our unemployed former page for Congressman Foley. Todd??

Todd: Lick my salami, Jim.

Jim: What?

Todd: What you said to him....

Jim: I said Saloma melachem, dipshit! Not lick my salami.....

Todd: Sorry.....Well, Jim would gladly sue the United States of America for reparations, but who gets what would be a big mess. So the correct answer would be that he is for reparations, but he plays both sides of the issue....

Brooke: Jim, is that correct???

Jim: DAMMIT................... YES!!!

Brooke: Todd, you are our winner!!!!

Todd: Holy Crap!!

Jim: Holy Crap !!

Brooke: Ja'Ron, please take off your "Hello, my Name Is" sticker and enter the execution chamber.

Ja'Ron: What??

Brooke: Rules are Rules, Ja'Ron !

Todd: Thanks, Brooke. Now I can eat again!!

Ja'Ron: AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Brooke: That's all the time we have left... Thanks for watching Rock Star: Jim Clyburn!

Todd: Mr. Clyburn, I wanted to ask you a few questions about your stance on Iraq...

Jim: Lord, help me!!

Review of the Transition of Power: Democratic Missteps

I've been a little slow in talking about some of the issues that have come up since the Dems took back the House last month. A good indicator of how things will go is what issues come up before they actually take power. It looks like the extreme left of the party sees the writing on the wall - that they might be left out of the fun, and some of their ideas will fall by the wayside. Let's review some of them, and not to pick on them, but more so to show that no party is "Unified 100%", and that there is a kook fringe also.

Hoyer v. Murtha. Nancy Pelosi's choice didn't make it, and a lot of the members, Jim Clyburn included, refused to say who they voted for. In the end, the right guy got the job - Murtha has a nice military background, but there is a history of quid pro quo in his decisions, and he doesn't seem to have the right temperament for this job.

Minimum Wage. Did anyone else have a good laugh seeing Trust Fund baby Ted Kennedy with all the DC kids, asking to raise the minimum wage $2.00 an hour? Yes, it is time to give the minimum wage a little boost, even though most of the market has long since past it. However two things concern me: for some businesses, jacking the wage up $2.00 will raise their salary expense up 40%, and turn their business from a profit maker to a loser, then they close, and everyone loses, or they raise prices, and everyone loses. Now, if we go back to last year, the issue did come up, and the Democrats voted against raising the wage. Uh.........

The Draft? Add this to #3 on my list of Signs that The End is Near. Charles Rangel says that maybe we should institute the draft, the reasoning being that politicians would be less apt to go to war if THEIR kids had to go....Maybe Joe Wilson could answer that question. The worm certainly has turned when a Democrat with a 93 Liberal rating asks to draft our kids. A military full of men and women who do not want to be there is a bad idea. Everyone else has been mum on the idea, so that tells you on it's chances.

Intelligence Chair. This is the scary one. Going back to last year, there has been speculation that Pelosi wants to replace Jane Harmon with Alcee Hastings. Hastings problems before he even got to DC are well documented, but more importantly, I've seen Harmon a few times, and she is the one to have the job. Her knowledge is is thorough, and she doesn't appear to be motivated by politics to the extent that others have. There will be considerable pressure from the CBC to name Hastings, but that will be a bad move. Can you hear "and Hasty, you doing a hell of a job" at some point?? Inteligence in this day is too important to not put your best man, or woman in this case, in the post.

In NASCAR, it's easy to catch a car, but hard to pass him. In politics, it's easier to say what to do, but harder to do it. If the Dems ignore the kook fringe, they may do okay - but it might be tough when the Speaker pnders to that fringemore than her party. Good Luck !!

SC6 Human Interest Story: Blind and Wheelchair Bound Student Makes U. of L Marching Band..

ESPN had a really nice piece on a student at the University of Louisville. The boy was born blind and unable to walk, but he has managed to become an accomplished pianist and trumpeter. He recently fulfilled a dream when he made the Louisville Cardinals Marching Band...

You might be asking, "How do you march in a wheelchair?". Well, he gets a little help from his Dad, who pushes him in formation. Dad also takes his on to classes everyday, in addition to working the night shift at UPS. Dad didn't complain about working so hard for his son, because he considers the boy his hero...... Sounds like they both are in my book.

Good job on the piece, and I hope ESPN replays it when Louisville plays in their bowl game.

One of These Two Teams Will Go to the Orange Bowl ??

It's Saturday afternoon, and I'm watching perhaps the worst college football game of all time..... The ACC Championship game between Georgia Tech and Wake Forest absolutely sucks! It's 3-3 as it's nears the end of the 3rd Quarter, and at this point, I don't care who wins..

I thought Wake making the championship would be a good story, but this game has everything going against it.......... The weather sucks, the offenses can't complete a pass, they're playing in a Pro Stadium that's about 1/3 full, and the best teams aren't there - Clemson, Boston College and Maryland looked better than these two. It's no coincidence that the winner of this game plays against probably the 3rd or 4th seed in the Big Ten - and they'll still get crushed.

Yep, this is another beef about the BCS system.. Can we please have a playoff system, so crap teams like these two don't get Top 8 automatic byes when they are ranked 16th and 23rd i the country???? Ok, I'm off my soapbox.

Mark Sanford Goes Hollywood........

I AM MARSHALL !!!!!!!

I hope that finger gun of Sanford's isn't loaded..... Coming to theaters this Fall. I AM MARSHALL......... The story of a state government in shambles - hundreds of millions of dollars in debt, underfunded education and explosive spending. Until one man rose from the ashes and brought them back from the wreckage...

I AM MARSHALL: THE MARK SANFORD STORY , starring Matthew McConnaughey, is the inspirational tale of one man, his pair of defacating piglets, and a dream - to run government like a business, and to keep the money in the taxpayers' pockets.

Taking on the cast of evil characters ( Tommy "Sir Spend a lot" Moore) and his henchmen Hugh "Baby New Year" Leatherman and Dan "Boca Huevo" Cooper, Sanford gives the bad guys a lesson for the ages......... The Good Guys Win in the End..

I AM MARSHALL........ Coming soon to a theater near you, and to DVD a week later!

I Got a Love Letter from Jimmy Carter Today........I Feel SO DIRTY !!!

Having donated my share of money to politicians, I get a lot of requests from various groups. Most of them have the common sense to know that I'm a staunch Republican, so imagine my shock and shame to see that I got a letter in my PO Box from none other than the Pride of Plains, Georgia - Jimmy Carter !

I like Habitat for Humanity, so I've never given Carter too much grief... Now Carter has a group called The Carter Center. From the brochure they sent, it has a wide net with the aim being "Can't We All Get Along?".. From what I read, they are such a pacifist group that they make the Gang of 14 look like hardliners.

Sure, negotiations can resolve a lot of the world's conflicts, but Jimmy Carter has such a reputation of backbending for the sake of peace, that I think he bends over forward, rather than backwards. Who would be afraid of a group led by Jimmy Carter? Groups negotiate with Carter to reach an accord, then break it when someone's guard is down. Sounds like something I want to give my hard earned cash to - let's negotiate with Al-Qaida, give up Iraq, Indonesia and Sudan, then act surprised when they try to blow us up again....

Thanks, Mr. President Carter....... but no thanks!

Wilbur !!!! FITS Calls It Quits......

SC Blogging was dealt a bit of a blow when Will Folks blog, Faith in the Sound, announced that they were closing shop. Hopefully, Will's gotten a spot in Columbia that doesn't allow him the time to blog anymore.

I liked reading FITS, even though I never got a good mention from him in print. Will did do me a lot of favors when he was on Mark Sanford's staff, and that's what really matters. Will's blog was funny, politically smart, and he worked hard on it. I'll miss the stiletto mafia, and all the other figments of Will's imagination. I'll also miss names like 'Egg-Tooth" and "The Mayor of Importantville".

Hasta, Will ! See you on the road...

Rock Star: Jim Clyburn Hits the Semi-Finals!!

Good day, reality TV fans, and welcome to Rock Star: Jim Clyburn. As you can see above, Jim is showing a minister the proper hand positions for driving - 10 and 2 o'clock people!! Last week, we said goodbye to our right-leaning intern candidate, Amy. Unfortunately, she is no longer with us....... Next time , read the fine print, Amy! Well, let's not waste any time, I'm going to send it to our hostess with the mostest, Brooke Burke !!

Brooke: Hello, and welcome to Rock Star: Jim Clyburn.. Our remaining three contestants are chomping at the bit to win our coveted internship for House Majority Whipmaster, Jim Clyburn.... where they can look forward to picking up Jim's dry cleaning, taste testing his food, and taking the blame when Jim forgets to list important business partnerships on his disclosure statements for four years.

Today's immunity challenge is a little different. Keeping in the spirit of Rock Star, our contestants will need to perform a song for us, but it MUST keep with the key tenants of Clyburn's policies: whatever they are!! You have 5 minutes to write it....

(tick, tock, tick, tock).....

Brooke: That's much better... Clothes can be so restricting, don'tcha think?? Ok Destiny, you're first up - what do you have?

Destiny: I'm gonna perform my lyrics to Britney Spears' Oops, I Did It Again......

Brooke: Great ! The last thing I ever would expect is a waitress from Hooters is for her to sing bubble gum music..... This oughta be good.

Destiny: oops, i'm building a bridge. The other white meat, just playing the game - oh baby, baby.

oops, you think I'm so smart, just like a fart... i'm not that intelligent!!

Brooke: I'm stunned, Destiny.... No doubt Bob Dylan and Bono are shaking in their boots right now!! Well, we'll see if it holds up. Todd, you're up. Please don't tell me you're gonna do an 'N Sync song!

Todd: Brooke, please, they are SOOOOOOO 2003!! I'm going Old School! I'm going to sing to Percy Sledge' s When a Man Loves a Woman... Hit it, Ringo !!

When a Man Loves an Earmark, He can't do no wrong. Turn his back on every concept of sensible spending if they put it down.

He gives up all his senses, calls everyone a racist... If they dare complain about it.....

Brooke: OK, OK!! That's about all I can stand...We get the point! All I can say is Mark Foley must have been wearing earplugs when you worked in his office!! Ja'Ron, please help us here.

Ja'Ron: All I gotta say is Y'all Suck, Hardcore!! I was going to sing to Mike Jones, but I don't think you guys can handle it, so i'll do Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise instead.....

As I walk thru the House I deliver the pain, you take a look my bills and realize that i'm insane. Power-spending money, money spending power , gimme money for a minute- I'll spend it for an hour!

You'll spend half your life paying off our Liberal Paradise, Go ahead insult my wife, I'm stuck in a Liberal's Paradise.....

Brooke: Ahem, would it be a little insulting to say i'm a bit disapppointed? Well, someone has to win. For our decision, we go to the expert. Tommy Lee is missing in action right now, along with Destiny again, so we go to smarmy MTV News fossil, Kurt Loder!!

Kurt: this really doesn't matter..... What, with genocide in Darfur, the Worldwide AIDS epidemic, and........

Brooke: Silence, Geek Boy!! No cares what you think! Just pick one!!

Kurt: Uh..... Ja'Ron, I guess.

Brooke: congrats, Ja'Ron, once again, you get a free pass to the Final Round.... coming up next, one of our contestants goes home, and I change outfits !!

Brooke: I can't believe more people read FITS and LaurinLine than this blog... look at me!! Tommy Lee is back, along with James Carville to ask the final question. Tommy Lee, you're up first... Ask Destiny her question....

Tommy: In a minute... Brooke , I think I dropped my keys by your feet, can you feel around for them???

Brooke: Bite me, Tommy!

Tommy: Ok, Ok...... Hey babe, uh..... my question this time is.......uh.. What are the top items sold at Hooters??

Brooke: C'mon, tommy, she works there!

Tommy: That ain't the ONLY place she's been workin'!

Destiny: uh, I don't know... You see, I lied. I'm only the hostess, so I don't know the menu yet!!

Carville: well, ad muss ad I respett a liar in politickin' , I'm afeared you lose, sweetie!

Brooke: Well Todd, you get the same question: name the top items at Hooters.

Todd: I know that! You see, I once went there with Rep. Foley, and boy was he MAD!! He said he never wanted to go to a place with girls in skimpy outfits again!! That, and he got gas from the Buffalo Wings and Beer, so i'll say Beer and Wings!

Brooke: You are right! Todd, you've made it to the finals!! Destiny, please take off your "Hello, My Name is .." sticker and get into the execution chamber....

Destiny: Tommy, Save Me !!

Tommy: Honey, i've had Pam Anderson AND Heather Locklear........be real!

Brooke: Well, that wraps up another Rock Star: Jim Clyburn !!

Destiny: AAAARRRGGHHH!!!!!!!

Brooke: Tune in next week, when Jim himself will be here to pick his next lackey!!

My Brother's Brush With Greatness... Delivering Howard Stern's New Car !!

Most of us lead ordinary existences... Lives which don't vary much from day-to-day, and are generally pretty boring. Then once in a while, we cross paths with the rich , famous and powerful. Even if for just a minute, it puts a bright spot on an otherwise dull life.

I've said it before. I am a huge Howard Stern fan, probably since I was 14. Maybe not as much as I used to be, but still a fan. Well, my brother Matt in New York got a treat this week. It seems that Howard bought a new Audi A8, and needed it delivered to his house in the Hamptons. The dealer called Matt's body shop, and Matt is the flatbed driver, so he got the gig.

Matt was taking the car off the truck, when Howard and his superhot girlfriend Beth just came off of the beach. Howard was pretty excited to get the car, and the two chatted for a couple minutes. He was pretty lucky - most people don't get to bring a $100k car they've been waiting for. Howard offered Matt lunch and an extra tip, but he had to get going.

All in all, it was a pretty surreal experience, but it makes for a pretty cool story. So far, the only celebrity I ever met was Debbie Gibson, not including politicians. I might have to listen to Howard's show on Monday to see if he talks about it... Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Happy Turkey Day !!

Thanksgiving Day is here again... And it's gone off without a hitch, with the exception of Spongebob Squarepants attacking his handlers here. Don't work, only a couple of them died - that's why they use so many of them.

While we may think of Thanksgiving with eating Turkey, or Football or Parades, the true reason is to give thanks for all we have. While it's been a tough year, even I have plenty to be thankful for. I have a good job, my health, plenty of friends, and the greatest blog on the planet!!!

Thanks to Earl, Moye, West Rhino, Chip, Josh and all my regulars, and to my slew of anonymous friends... Gobble, Gobble!!

SC6 Endorses Mary Pearson for Dorchester Treasurer......

I'm pleased to hear that Mary Pearson has received the overwhelming support of Dorchester County Republicans for the vacant Treasurer's position. I've known Mary for about three years now, and she is a top flight candidate for the job.

Mary is a leading member of nearly every GOP group in South Carolina and in the Lowcountry. She is an Executive Committeeman of the SCGOP, and just about every group in the Charleston area. She is a strong, yet quiet leader who has earned her stripes. The support she has given me and all candidates in the party has been invaluable.

If there is a person who can follow through on Governor Sanford's goals of controlling spending and leaving taxpayers money in their own pockets, Mary is it. The first step seems to have been taken to achieve that goal...... My hope is that it goes all the way. Good Luck , Mary!

Alright, One Last Post on This Picture, Then We're Done.....

Geez.......... Nancy's got MAN HANDS !!! Look at those Meat Hooks.... Okay, we've milked this cow for all it's worth.. Pun intended. If I missed something, please let me know.

Rock Star: Jim Clyburn Has It's First Job.... Out the West Rhino !!!!

Welcome to the opening round of Rock Star: Jim Clyburn! Our four contestants are here, waiting for the first elimination. As you know, the winner will have an opportunity of a lifetime - to be an intern for Whipmaster Jim Clyburn, where he/she will get to pick up lunch or coffee for the staff, and to check the mail for Anthrax.

Congressman Clyburn is not here with us, but guest panelists James Carville and Tommy Lee are here, as well as our hostess, Brooke Burke...

See..........

My God , she is smokin'..........

Anyway, back to the action. The first challenge awaits. As you know, a major job is to sniff out any and all enemies of a Congressman, and to find dirt on them. I'm pretty high on the Whipmaster's list, so our first job is to out the most illusive of my blog buddies - the wily West Rhino. Amy, Destiny, Ja'Ron and Todd - GO GET 'EM !!

(tick , tock, tick, tock)......

Brooke, take it from here.....

Brooke: Ok Amy, who is the Rhino?

Amy: Well, I crossreferenced all of the transmissions between SC6's posts, and I attempted to backtrack the source of the posts... and after calling some secret connections I know at the FCC.........I have NO IDEA.

Brooke: Too Bad.. Destiny, who is the Rhino?

Destiny: Well, you see... I was getting ready to check.. Then I ran into Tommy Lee in the dressing room.... and the next thing I know, time was up.

Brooke: Back to Hooters, Destiny! Todd, any idea??

Todd: Well, I drove to the Zoo in West Columbia, and I went to the Rhino cage, and I asked him what his name was, and I swear, he made no sense whatsoever!! What the heck is PPFFFFTT!!!

Brooke: God help us! Ja'Ron, please ... To give us any hope for America's future, can you name the West Rhino??

Ja'Ron: Yeah, it's Don __________.

Brooke: Great Googly Moogly!! That's right! How did you find out?

J'Ron: I asked Cyndi Mosteller. DUUUHHHH!!

Brooke: Congrats, JaRon. You win a pass to the next round. First, let me change outfits.

Brooke: There... That's more like it. Uh, is anyone else in here a little COLD???? Anyway, we now have the Elimination Round. Each contestant will be asked a question by our guest panelist or myself. If you get it wrong , you will be eliminated unless someone gets it wrong. Ok, first up is Todd, because he was the biggest idiot so far. Todd, I will ask the question. What is the legal minimum age for a Congressional page?

Todd: Oh, I know that one, because I met Congressman Foley when I was 15, and I told him I wanted to be a page, and he said, "Uh Not until you're 16, Sugarbritches!!!" So it's 16.

Brooke: Absolutely right, Sugarbritches.... I mean Todd! You will continue on... Destiny, it's your turn. Your question will be given by guest panelist Tommy Lee...

Tommy: Uh, cool...... Hey, babe... uh....... my question is....... how big am I?

Destiny: I know ____________ !!!!

Brooke: Like who doesn't know that!! I remember back in the 90's , I met Tommy at the Rainbow Club, and.....

Tommy: Hey Brooke, I was married back then!!!

Brooke: Whatever.. Ok, that leaves it up to our resident Republican, Amy. Sweetie your question will be asked by Democratic Strategist James Carville.. James , what is your question?

Carville: Well Brunk, the questin iddint what da questin id, buh whuh da questin iddin't. Hnuh, Hnuh?? Ya see, back in Nona-two, Bill Clin-tone axed me what da mose im-potent issya id... An I says tah him, " It da E-cono-me , Stoopit"!! Hnuh, Hnuh!

Amy: I think I'm in trouble....

Brooke: How does Mary Matalin put up with you? Ask the question, Mushmouth!

James: EZ dere, Hot Pants! ok, nah, A-mee..... Name all da fo hunnert thorty fai membuh o' da upcomin' House O' Repuh-zenda-tiffs!

Amy: Are you kidding? Brooke, he's kidding , right??

Brooke: He gets to pick the question..... You have thirty seconds....(tick, tock, tick , tock).

Amy: Uh... Clyburn, Pelosi, Hoyer, Boehnert, Blunt, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!!! Pence, Spratt, Rangel, Murtha, Brown, Brown, Brown...

Brooke: 3....2....1....

Amy: KELLY CLARKSON !!!!!!!

Brooke: ZERO! I'm sorry, Amy. Please take off your "Hello, my Name Is" sticker , and quickly proceed to the Execution Chamber....

Amy: WHAT??!!!!!!

Brooke: Well, that leaves us with only three contestants left...

Amy: AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!

Brooke: Come back next week for the Semifinals of Rock Star: Jim Clyburn!!! Until then, here's something for you to think about.....

God Bless America !!

We're Not Done With This Picture Yet.........

No, no Nancy........... it's the MIDDLE finger, and turn your hand the OTHER way!!

America Loses It's Economist and It's Coach......

" Son, you wear a Peace symbol on your lapel, and have "Born to Kill" on your helmet.. What are you trying to say?"

" I think I was trying to speak about the Duality of Man.... the Jungian thing."

"Son, whose side are you on???"

Most of us here love to chat about politics, but it's not always what we care most about, and it's not what is most important in our daily lives. I think that is best exemplified by the passing of economist Milton Friedman and Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler. Things like this allow us to take a minute to realize this.

Friedman was often called "America's Economist". A fervent support of free trade, Friedman represented what America is about: allowing the Economy to remain unfettered by barriers and restrictions, and letting the market determine if something fails or survives. Political affiliations aside, the freedom that America allows us is what makes this country the greatest in the world, and Friedman personified it from an economic standpoint.

From the other side, who doesn't love college football? Eleven guys, working together for no money ( we'll stay away from commenting on this), led by a coach. College football is great because they are still young nough that they listen to their coach - a man who often molds them, and teaches them life lessons, not just X's and O's. In the Ohio State/Michigan game, I was always a Wolverine fan. Coach Schembechler never won a championship, but his consistency was outstanding: In 21 years, he was 1st or 2nd in the Big Ten 17 times, and was never worse
than 4th. Clemson and Carolina would love those numbers. It's nice to hear his former players talk about how he helped them become good people, as well as good players. That is what coaching is about.

As far as today's game, it probably won't be enough for Michigan. Ohio State has been more consistent, they're at home, and they have the best player on the field in Troy Smith. Ohio State, 24-17.

Same Picture, Still More Comments on Nancy Pelosi..

Incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi held a press conference today to inform the media specifically which finger she would insert in the House Republicans sphincters. Hope she wears a glove.

CBS Unveils It's Newest Reality Show.......Rock Star : Jim Clyburn !!

Jim is seen here, performing his own version of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me".....



CBS Reality Show king Mark Burnett held a press conference today to announce his newest installment to the Rock Star Reality Series. This year, the show will have a new twist: rather than give aspiring singers a chance to front a major rock band, political wannabes will have a chance to be on the staff of incoming House Majority Whip, James Clyburn.

" In a lot of ways, politicians ARE Rock Stars... Drugs , Sex, Perversions, screwing other people - these are all the same things, right?" explained Burnett. Whipmaster Clyburn will have one enjoyable perk: working next to Megababe , Brooke Burke. "Man, that chick is Banging!! I would've done this for free. Hey, is Dave Navarro still married to Carmen Electra?". When he was informed they broke up, Clyburn was quoted as saying one word: "S**t".

Joining Clyburn on the panel are Political Analyst James Carville, MTV News Host Kurt Loder, and former Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, who still has nothing better to do. They will whittle the contestants down to a final winner, who will spend the next six months making coffee, blowing up balloons, getting lunch for the staff, and testing the congressman's mail for Anthrax. Knowing the potential for extremely low ratings, Rock Star: Jim Clyburn has decided to only have 4 contestants. They are:

1. Todd: A recently dismissed page of Rep. Mark Foley's staff, Todd is looking forward to earning a trip back to the Hill.
2. Destiny: A college sophomore who currently supplements her college education by waitressing at a restaurant known for their chicken wings and skimpy outfits.
3. Ja'Ron: The Howard University Junior lists his heroes as Martin Luther King Jr., Miles Davis, and , um......... Rep. Cynthia McKinney.
4. Amy: The Yale freshman set a Guinness World Record by reading Ann Coulter's book an amazing 675 times....... Good luck , honey.

Those are the combatants, the judges are ready, Jim's practicing cracking his new whip, Brooke is as hot as usual......... Let the games begin!!

My Open Application for Gov. Sanford's Chief of Staff...

Dear Gov. Sanford,
I read that you were looking for a New Chief of Staff, so I would like to put my name into the hat for your consideration. While it may be a safe bet to pick someone that you know and trust, like Tom Davis, I disagree. I can't tell you exactly why, but I disagree.

If I look familiar, it's because I've seen you on the campaign trail all the time. Not like the stalker/get a restraining order type, just a big fan.. You might remember me at the VFW hall in Goose Creek in 2004 - I kept trying to stuff a copy of my tax incentive plan in your jacket. Or last year at Sparkleberry Swamp - I was the one who flattened Clyburn's tires.. Like I said , I'm a big fan.

I do have leadership experience in politics too. I, uh.... Well, I was Vice President of the Republicans for Tommy Moore at USC - Salkehatchie. You see, it was Rush Week, and I was pledging Delta Upsilon Mu, so I thought the whole thing was a fraternity prank. I mean, did that group really exist? I spent half the Fall semester waiting for one of my DUM brothers to tell me the whole thing was a joke! Next thing I know, I'm getting congratulations from Jakie Knotts for getting 47% of the vote in Colleton County......Sorry.

All that aside, I think I'm an ideal guy for you. I shop with coupons, I haven't paid for lunch in years, and I still drive the same 85 Nissan Pulsar that I had in high school.. With a little work, I think I can get the State budget down to zero in about 3 years.

There are my qualifications. You can send a message in the comments if you want to have a meeting sometime. Congratulations on your victory, and I look forward to leading your team for the next 4 years.

Sincerely,

Mike

Rudy for President !!!! NOW I'm Excited !!

I heard the big news........ Rudy is running for President ! Finally, an ordinary Joe running for office. This is what America needs - a guy who worked in the mines, earned his way through junior college, worked his way to Notre Dame, and overcame his physical limitations to make their legendary football team.

Yes, Rudy is a true inspiration for all of America, and..........uh, what Rudy are we talking about?? Giuliani? Oh....... That's cool too.

Who's Skin Did I Get Under THIS TIME ??

I had an interesting day over at Devinely Southern.. Frank's been fawning over the likely naming of Jim Clyburn as Majority Whip. With his new title, Frank feels that the bridge over Lake Marion is a done deal now. Being one who loves to throw salt into the open wound of stupidity, I have been discussing it back and forth over the weekend, and I was even joined by the Queen of the Blogosphere herself, Laurin Manning, in the demerits of the project.

Now , I love discussing the finer points of politics with Frank, because he continues to try and defend the indefensible. I think there is mutual respect, although our views differ, and I think there are different motivations. There are politicians I respect, and some I don't. And then there are those I disagree with on a point or two. In my opinion, the only way to earn respect is to credit that person where he/she is right, and criticize them where they are wrong.

Frank has an apparent love affair with Old Jim. In his mind , Jim can do no wrong. No doubt, Jim is a role model for any young African -American especially. However, that in no way means that everything that he comes up with is right. As kids, we all idolize our parents, but when we get older, we find their flaws. In the end, we keep the good, throw out the bad, and become our own people. This is what I have tried to instill into all young people like him.

The discussion of the bridge between us caused a friend of his to think the fur was flying, so I explained that it wasn't, but that I felt Frank was defending the indefensible in the hopes of getting on Clyburn's staff. All of a sudden, the entire posting was gone, including Clyburn's letter to his fellow Congressmen - the whole thing!! Did I touch a nerve, or is someone else reading his blog, and they didn't like it? Is one of the Whipmaster's henchmen keeping tabs on us??

Hey, maybe something else happened, but it sure doesn't look like it from my end. I don't think I really insulted anyone, or exposed some big secret going on. Sure, I'd like to work my way up the ladder, but I wouldn't turn myself into a Stepford Wife to do it. I've got my own brain, and we all do. In the end, you get more respect for your independent thought than for being a dominatrix's submissive partner.

The Morning News Loses the Only Reporter I Liked...

It is a dark week for readers of the Florence Monkey Nuts , as Political Reporter Marisa Kwiatkowski will be leaving us. Yes, Marisa is moving on to greener pastures, as she leaves the Pee Dee for a larger paper in Indiana. That's a good thing, because working at the News is a fast track to poverty.

We'll miss little Marisa, because she was the only one at the paper that wrote anything positive about me. Also, she is such a cutie !! Believe me, I was looking forward to getting on Council, if only to shoot the fecal matter with her.

So, Bon Voyage, Marisa! Best of Luck in your new job!

Pelosi Names the Dems Top Priority for Next Year....

" My top priority for the next year........ Is for SOMEONE to pull my finger !"