SC6 Future News: 2011, The Iraq War Ends.......

(Rooters) Baghdad: Today, the nearly decade old war of sectarian violence in Iraq ended. The end came about when radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr beat a six year old Sunni boy in the UN-created game "Iraq, Paper, Scissors". As per the rules of the game, the Sunni boy was summarily executed after losing, thus leaving Al-Sadr as the only living person left in Iraq. While details of how Al-Sadr made it to the finals are sketchy, apparently the boy had been hiding under a table in Ramadi, when he was found by Hans Blix, who still was searching for chemical weapons.

Reaction in America was seen as a victory for the President. "When I took office , I promised Americans that we would pull out, I mean redeploy our troops out of Iraq, and that peace would come to the country in my Administration - and it has." Said President Hillary Clinton. In 2009, Clinton and Secretary of Defense Jack Murtha removed troops from the war torn country, and with the assistance of UN Ambassador George Clooney, the "Iraq , Paper, Scissors" game was developed by the UN Security Council.

Al-Sadr was not concillatory in victory. "I told you all to listen to me.... Don't mess with Muqtada, baby! Hey, that kid was tough. For someone who just was pulled out from under a table, and thrown right into the game, he did pretty well, but I'd been practicing IPS for a while, so there was no denying me.... Allah akbar!".

America's future with the new Iraq seems to be off to a good, in not tenuous start. "Al-Sadr seems a bit intolerant of women, he's a bit conservative religiously, and I'm not sure of his views on our "Small World, One World" philosophy, but what choice do we have?" Said House Speaker and Democrat Kingpin Nancy Pelosi was quoted.

Al-Sadr was less enthusiastic. "Those two broads can stop by, but only if they're gonna cook and clean my place up, and they better cover those ugly pusses with a birkha - eecchhh!!"