Superman Returns !! I End the Chechen War, Reunite Yushchenko and Yanukovich, and Still have Enough Time for Two Dates.......All In a Day's Work !

Russian leader Vladimir Putin shows reporters that he has finally taught Ukrainian President Yushchenko to 'stay, Boy, stay'.

I told you guys that I was here on business... Yep, after a couple days of rest and relaxation, I finally got down to business and fixed Eastern Europe. Now the area will be safe for democracy, and all the world can live in peace - just like in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"... Truth be told, it was quite easy.

Part I - Fixing Ukraine.

This was not too hard. Yuschenko and Yanukovich (is he related to Weird Al?) are deadlocked. So what do you do in that case? Kill one of them. now, since we don't condone assassinations here, there was only one choice - Ukrainian cage Match to the Death. Neither one was too thrilled, but Putin signed off on it, so it's happening. We're going to sell it on Pay-per-View, and all the money will go to make ice. Thank God.

Part II - Chechnya.

If you think was easy, think again. That Putin is a stubborn little bugger! We short guys always are... But after a couple hours, I said to him, "Vlad, buddy - it's frickin' CHECHNYA!!" , and it just stuck. I surprised myself on that one. Seriously , what is in Chechnya? Kazhakstan has the oil, and Ukraine has the agriculture and Natural Gas. What is in Chechnya? Case Closed. Actually, I think Chechnya is overwith,but I'll take credit for it anyway.

Part III - Important Business

I got a call from Valentina at 100, asking if we could meet at 200 - she told her boss it was "an emergency". I hope that poor girl still has a job today..... So, the two of us and her interpreter went to the same place I was two days ago, and we chatted and took pictures. I got her flowers ( a bouquet of lilacs goes for 60 cents here!!). Then we went to Boulevard, a cafe with a 1920's theme - very classy. But time ran out, I turned into a pumpkin and she had to go back to work. Here's a picture...

Valya looks like a Long Island housewife on her way for a morning powerwalk! Kristina is pretty cute too, but she's engaged.

Next, it was onto my date with Irina. Irina is pretty tall (about 5'9), and she is very fluent in English. She took a taxi bus all the way from Izmail - about 90 miles away , which i paid for. The trip tired her out a bit, so we went to dinner at another Ukrainian restaurant, which was awesome. Things were a bit quiet at first, but she suggested some wine and of course I picked out a $25 bottle of Pinot Grigio ( which is almost impossible to do there). Well, by the time we killed that wine, things were much better. I had this cake for dessert that was unbelieveable. This was not a cheap date. Dinner with tip was about $120. By the time dinner was over, she was pooped, so i got dropped off, and she took the taxi to a friend's. Maybe not the best result, but we're going out again this morning, so i need to finish this up.

I took this picture in the dark outside the restaurant, so it's a bit fuzzy.

Ok, that's it for now. Where are you today, Moye???

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