Astrology and Politics: Find Out What Your Candidate Is REALLY Like..

Here's an interesting one we made up here. I got this sarcastic list of personality types based on your astrological sign, and I added a political twist to it.....

We exhaustively researched (for 15 minutes) all of our Federal Representatives and Senators, as well as the major Presidential candidates - sorry, I couldn't care less what Ron Paul or Dennis Kucinich's signs are. We also added our Governor and Gov. Lite. I think it adds a lot of insight into what really makes them tick...... That, or it just shows that all politicians are egomaniacal a-holes. You decide.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb 18) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakestedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk. Gresham Barrett.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20) - You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general loser. Mitt Romney.

ARIES (Mar21-Apr 20) - You are the pioneer type and think most people are quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are a prick. Andre Bauer.

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 20) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. Rudy Giuliani, John Edwards, Mark Sanford.

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a penny. Everybody in prison is a Cancer. Lindsey Graham, Myself.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you're an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving sods and spend most of their lives kissing mirrors. Jim Clyburn, Barack Obama, Fred Thompson, Joe Wilson.

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. John McCain, Jim DeMint

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. Bob Inglis.

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21) - The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect S.O.B.. Most Scorpios are murdered. Hillary Clinton, John Spratt.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius' are drunks. You are not worth the time of day. Henry Brown.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19) - You are conservative and are afraid of taking risks. You are basically spineless. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Become a monk.

Once again, i didn't make these reviews up, but some of them are quite accurate. If this hasn't helped you decide which candidate to vote for in the future, my advice is to vote for a Taurus or Capricorn...

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