They're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat .....
News reports abound that the plot of the scariest movie of the 1970's is coming true - there are tons of maneating sharks surrounding the waters of Massachusetts. While this is not totally uncommon - the waters of Cape Cod are warm this time of year, and there's plenty of food, meaning fish - the problem appears to be worse than usual. We think we have the reason for it. As usual, you can blame it all on Barack Obama......
Yep, it's all the President's fault. Obama took his well-publicized trip to Martha's Vineyard, and just like people, sharks like celebrities as much as anyone. They enjoy seeing the President, and maybe getting a picture with him or an autograph as well... Combine that with the passing of Ted Kennedy, and we think that's all you need to know...
Getting rid of them is easy... Just post some signs, and maybe a sonar-based message, letting the sharks know that Barack Obama has left the building, and that the Ted Kennedy funeral was in Washington DC, and they'll leave. Problem solved.....Here's a Cliff Notes version of Jaws for you..
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZgMJ-WFzPg
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2 comments:
Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go.
And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant.
I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter.
I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island.
Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.
Thanks, Quint. 'Farewell and adieu, all you fair Spanish ladies'......
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