Nickelodeon Star's Blood Is On BP's Hands......(AP) Bikini Bottom, LA. - On the verge of the possible end of the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill, news took a tragic turn today when the oil-soaked corpse of children's star Spongebob Squarepants washed ashore in St. Bernards Parish in Southeastern Louisiana..... He would have turned 24 years old on Wednesday......
It's location unknown for decades, Bikini Bottom was apparently 27 miles off the Louisiana coastline, it's sandy bottom now a Federal disaster area. The date of Spongebob's demise is unknown. His body was found near his pet snail, Gary, and a few feet from his neighbor and co-worker, Squidward. In fact, the only known survivor of Bikini Bottom was his buddy and fellow aquatic sealife member, Patrick Starfish. Initially found drenched from head to toe in oil and gasping for breath, Patrick was well enough to speak to the media soon afterwards....
'MY FRIEND IS GONE !!!!! WHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!! How can I live without my little yellow buddy ???!!!!! , wailed Patrick, almost inconsolable.... According to Patrick, Squarepants left in mid April to cover a triple shift at the Krusty Krab at the request of his boss, Eugene Krabs. Krabs has not been seen since, and is believed to have left Bikini Bottom in the nick of time, thanks to his contacts in the military. 'Spongebob LOVED those Krabby Patties - HE DIED FOR HIS ART !!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN KEVIN COSTNER !!!' , wept Patrick, who then muttered and shook uncontrollably into a friend's shoulder....
The discovery of Spongebob's passing comes as an ironic shock to all those involved, as BP announced that, after a mere 20 days of asskicking by the Obama Administration, they may finally have developed a solution to stop the free flow of oil that has ruined the Gulf of Mexico. Worse yet now will be the emotional damage to the Youth of America, who will need emotional couseling not seen since Michael Jackson's passing. An Obama staffer, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told reporters that Washington will soon announce a $125 billion initiative to help kids cope with Spongebob's loss.....
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4 comments:
I wonder how possible this post would have been, had you not assumed a new career as a manny over the last several months.
Mike, I hear the Obama administration is planning to dump the blame for all of this on Bush.
I think I could have pulled this one off.. I knew of Spongebob when I hung out at Ashley McDuffie's (it was the only cartoon he'd let them watch).
BTW, yes Moye you are correct, and I'll fix it in a minute, before anyoe else notices the major error..
no problem
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