Who'll Win Tonight's Obama Beer Summit? Just Check the Brew, And You'll Know...

The Beer You Drink Says a Lot About You .....

All eyes will be on a picnic bench on the lawn of the White House at 600Pm tonight. Will it be to hammer out a bi-partisan agreement on Health Care? Nope. Perhaps they'll find a way to balance the budget. Uhh, not quite. No, there will be three guys drinking beers, and talking about something that they should never have had to be there for....






Barack Obama will be trying to be the go-between with Henry Louis Gates and Sgt. Crowley of the Cambridge , Mass. Police Department. Now, we've gone through this before. The fact that these two guys had to fly 500 miles to DC to 'discuss' this with the President of the United States - who NEVER should have commented on the incident - is probably the greatest example in US History of somethign being blown totally out of proportion. This could have been settled in 2 minutes, and it could be. But, my guess it will end up like most get togethers between 2 people arguing and getting a buzz on. Secret Service better be close by....





Rather than analyze the meeting, we'd rather analyze the beer. Earl is licking his chops right now .... We had Dr. Gerhard Mutschler, world reknowned Beer Psychologist, to give us his analysis of the beers the three men chose for the Summit.




Barack Obama - Bud Light.

"This is the obvious choice of a deeply insecure person. My guess is that he doesn't even like beer - probably he'd rather have a Wine Cooler. It's water, tepid, and the choice of a person more concerned with his weight and appearance, than enjoying a good beer. Completely Narcissistic."






Henry Louis Gates - Red Stripe.

"Where is the Joint to go with his beer?? Red Stripe drinkers are troublemakers. They want to be like Bob Marley, but they don't have the talent. This is as close as they can get. This person wants to be different, to be a rebel, but they actually spend most of their time like Brian Johnson in The Breakfast Club - trying to be better citizens. All sound and fury, signifying nothing."





Sgt. Crowley - Blue Moon White Ale.

"A decent choice, but a Boston area cop not drinking a Sam Adams is almost treason. Why not a Sam Adams White Ale - the best beer on the planet? This indicates a guy who breaks the rules, and takes things into his own hands - not a good trait for a policeman. Dirty Harry Complex.... Plus, the term Blue Moon gives the impression that he might be apt to pulling his pants down."





No, we don't know where Dr. Mutschler got his doctorate from, or if there is even such a field as Beer Psychology. Earl would know more about that than I would... If it were me, I'd take the beer away, bitchslap the three of them, and deny them any until they all admit they screwed up. Only then would I let them discover the yumminess that is Rolling Rock - don't knock it til you try Number 33 from Old Latrobe.....


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