Look at the Size of the Noggin On That Dog !!Say hi to my Cousin Denise, and her and Cousin Johnny's dog, Sarge.... He's a Bull Mastiff, weighing in at over 200 pounds - which is about the total amount of slobber he creates per day. He's huge, but he's a big softie. Between Sarge and Aunt Dina's boxer, Micky, my black flet coat looks like it's Mohair..... I'm back from Pennsylvania to visit the cousins and my Aunt for the first time in ten years. As the family Press Secretary/Apologist, it's is my civic duty to periodically visit the family, keep them apprised of the latest, and apologize for none of us visiting...... well, since the last time I visited. Here's the cliff's notes version of my weekend......
Couldn't believe it, but I made it there in under three hours...... BTW, the toll for the Verrazano Bridge is now $11.00.... I think I pushed a lady into a speeding ticket in Staten Island by tailgating her. Either that, or it was when she drove onto the shoulder for no reason in front of a cop. Guess it was that on second thought.......Funniest billboard I saw: 'I Hate Steven Singer'. That's it, but they even have a website, http://www.ihatestevensinger.com/ . I'll keep you updated.... Also saw a sign for the Pennsylvania Turnpike that read 'Florence' underneath it - mad me feel like I was home.....
Speaking of which, who are the Ass Clowns who devised the 202-322-422-I76,I-276 can of worms that ends with STOPLIGHTS ??!!!! Now I know why Pops always f**ked up getting on the road when I was a kid.... Speaking of which,everyone asked why I don't help Pops out anymore. I explained. Their answer? 'OHHHHHH'....... First thing I did there? Cheesesteak. Second thing? Scrapple. Third? Beer. Tried to take pictures of the Brandywine Creek Battlefield, but under 3 ft of snow, it kinda loses it's depth....
Family Tree....... Big bombshell: Aunt Dina told me that the reason my grandfather left Sicily was because he uh........ uh, kinda......killed somebody. Yeah... Explains a lot. Luckily there is hope. Somehow , all of my cousin's kids seem to be well-adjusted, upstanding young people. It shows that with the right woman, any bad trait an be eventually washed away in the gene pool...
It's almost assured that Christopher will be headed to Afghanistan soon - and he can't wait to go. Those Airborne guys are crazy, but he's been detached from his brothers in the 82nd while training in Fort San Angelo, Texas, and he misses them bad. This will be his second tour in the War on Terror, and he's ready. His main focus is Intelligence, but man, that kid knows a shitload about guns............ Next up, the Family Reunion in Luzerne, Pennsylvania on August 29th. I'm getting my scorecard ready to keep track of all the relatives. Picture a giant, 150 person Mario Brothers Festival........
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1 comment:
I tried to ride him, but i couldn't because my feet wouldn't touch the ground..
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