House Speaker Filters $12 Million From Budget On Deer Whistles ?
Various news outlets that we can't remember are reporting the discovery of a secret $12 million slush fund procured from taxpayer dollars by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA). The fund reportedly is to purchase deer whistles for every citizen in Pelosi's district to install on their vehicles....
If an explanation is needed, we turn to an anonymous former staffer of Pelosi's... 'Everyone knows that the Madam Speaker has a perpetual 'Deer in the Headlights' expression on her face 24/7. The idea is that by putting these deer whistles on every single vehicle in her district, she's won't look like she's about to be roasted on a Spit', quoted the source..
While secretly buying 600,000 deer whistles at $20 retail on EBay seems like an odd idea, apparently Pelosi and her team are out of options. As another insider states, 'We've heard all the insults - Cryptkeeper, ET, the 'You're all Doomed' guy from Poltergeist.... this is one problem that we think we can attack head on and solve. We're being proactive for the good of America.' When told that the deer whistles only protect deer from being entranced by ACTUAL headlights, our insider only had one comment. 'Aww, fuck!'. Your tax dollars at work, folks!
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1 comment:
George W. Bush is gonna order some of those, just as soon as he finds out what happens to the pet goat...
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