Gene and His Tongue Set to Finish What Israel Can't ....Just days after Israel pulled it's troops back out of the Gaza Strip, KISS bassist Gene Simmons had a press conference to announce that he would be enlisting the 'largest army on the planet' to terrorize and straighten out the unruly Palestinians - the KISS Army.
Simmons, who was born in Haifa, Israel, and whose real name is almost unspellable or pronouncable, has vowed to clean Gaza up. Like the old private militias, Simmons will be paying for the enterprise entirely on is own - at a small profit, naturally. "Any KISS fan that is willing to assist Israel - and pay the $4000 'KISS War Camp' fee , will be doing Israel and KISS a great service" said Simmons.
Each 'camper' will be issued a limited edition KISS-authorized Kalashnikov automatic rifle, KISS dog tags, and a free bag of KISS Coffee. Any KISS fans not interested in serving are encouraged to donate to the cause. All KISS Mastercard users will have 1/2 of 1% of their purchases given to the KISS Army, as well as specially priced items available at http://www.kissonline.com/ .
Word is that before crossing the border, the KISS Army will play 'Strutter' and 'Detroit Rock City' at 110 decibels for 24 hours straight, or until 500,000 copies of KISS's new DVD are sold....If the Palestinians still have not given up every leader of Hamas, then the ground war begins. Thousands of auto mechanics, waitresses, computer geeks, rogue tax attorneys, mailmen and unemployed fry cooks will come in full KISS regalia, ready to conquer !!
May Hamas give up before Gene calls the troops to arms..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elBUpxXIAGw&feature=channel
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4 comments:
Mike - you should've provided a link to the actual story.
With the Kiss Army on the loose, there won't be a mopping-up operation, but rather a licking up operation.
They will go over there a'strutter with guns blazing, Beth will be there with her AK-47 to Rock and Rock All Night, and all hell's breaking loose. While the Paletinians may think they can call Doctor Love to help, in the end, they'll find the Kiss Army was not made for loving them.
wtf
Kudo's to Earl for all the KISS references -even if Moye doesn't understand them all...
Yeah, well only a screwed-up 80s leftover headbanger could possibly pull something like this off the top of your head.
BTW - in case you hadn't noticed, the posting below this one features a major Kiss fan - Condy.
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