Every Living Thing Destroyed , No Need To Worry About Jobs Now !
One day after scuttling plans for a $2.2 Billion Coal Fired power plant that would have revitalized the rural Pee Dee, Santee-Cooper officials decided to implement it's own Nuclear Power option in the area, and promptly dropped an atomic warhead just west of the proposed site, literally destroying everything from Lake City to the Hot Spot on Hwy 378 on the other side of the Great Pee Dee River.....
Initial reports are that Kingsburg, Johnsonville, Hemingway, Poston and Hannah were all vaporized instantly, and that Pamplico, Hyman, Gresham and Lake City were eventually destroyed by Nuclear Fallout. They were able to save The Schoolhouse BBQ in Scranton from annihilation, and they plan to be open on Thursday, as usual.... It seems that Santee-Cooper contracted out an F-16 jet from Shaw Air Force Base near Sumter, and had it drop a 6 megaton bomb - approximately 100 times the size of the proposed coal plant - in the area.
Santee-Cooper officials tired their best to put a positive spin on the bombing. "We see it as a cost cutting measure. Look at this way - we've made a 400 square mile area totally uninhabitable, so we don't need to worry about supplying electricity to the area. Besides, since the plant wasn't happening, the region was going to be abandoned within 5 years anyway..... We just cut out the middle man, and sped up the process", said an anonymous spokesperson for the state-owned utility.
As controlled as the devastation was, they were unable to keep from flattening the replacement work on the 378 Bridges going over the Pee Dee River. "No problem. the way we look at it, we just saved the taxpayers $21 million dollars. People should be grateful to us" was the utility spokesman's reply... However, the work for Santee-Cooper is not over yet. A repair crew will have to lay out approximately 425 miles of barbed-wire fencing around the entire Southern Florence - Northern Williamsburg County area.
State officials have not yet been able to determine a death toll on the disaster. A SLED agent assisting in the cleanup said, "It's hard to get an exact number yet. You got people driving through the area, and citizens have been leaving the area so fast lately, it's hard to tell."
Of course, this is a joke. But it might as well have been happened. This was perhaps the last great hope for Lower Florence County, and it's gone. Cap and Trade just killed this area .....
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