Post Number 620 - probably my most important one to date. After last month's fiasco/blowup at work, I came to the realization that I am not normal. But not ,"Mike's a different Egg' kind of different, but that there is seriously something messed up in my noodle. I finally had an opportunity to evaluate myself and realize that this a pattern that has been steady my entire adult life, and before I lose another decent job, i'm going to find out what is wrong.
No, I'm not crazy, and i'm not going crazy. However, whatever my illness is, it is some type of mental illness that I got from my Dad without a doubt. Any of you that have met him knows what I mean. My initial unofficial diagnosis is that I have Bi-Polar Disorder, but that is tentative. Yes, i too always thought it was bullshit. It usually is hereditary, and I'm pretty sure that I will never have kids , so that they never have the struggles that I have. If that makes me more attractive, so be it. :)
On Monday, I have my first visitation with my Psychiatrist/Psychologist - I keep forgetting - and I will post an update on the process and progress as I try to be just like the rest of you! My goal is to try and take the stigma away from this type of illness, so that someday I might help someone in a similar spot get the help they need. I'm pretty functional for this type of problem, and I'm lucky to get the help I'm getting - my doctor hasn't taken a new patient in years, but he's going to give me shot. Not everyone is so fortunate, but many more have these kind of illnesses and never get treated, and thta is the wrong action.
Like I said, I'm still the same nice guy/idiot you've always known, I'm just working to improve who I am, so that the next 39 years are better than the first 39. Thanks and Big Love to you all......
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2 comments:
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