Poor Star Jones.... This week , it was announced that she wouldn't be returning to( Translation - FIRED!) ABC's 11:00 AM YentaFest, "The View". Her departure, along with Meredith Viera's move to the "Today" show, leaves only Baba Wawa and Joy Behar from the original lineup. To put it in terms normal people might understand..... The Yankees just traded Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera.
Star Jones used to be a well respected person. The former District Attorney was a staple of the OJ Simpson Trial panel. Then she got on this lame "Coffee Talk" ripoff, and next thing you know, she's doing Payless commercials, and it was all downhill from there. Word is she wasn't getting along with Rosie O'Donnell ( who does?)...No surprise it happened though. If anyone had a doubt, it's clear now..... This is Baba Wawa's show, baby!!
Let's take a tally of the death toll... Debbie Matenopoulos was banished becuse she was too stupid (Remember the SNL skits where she was kept in a dog pen?). Then Lisa Ling was happily let go because she was too smart. Like the Three Little Bears, I guess Elisabeth Hasselbeck is just right, but she better stop that "I'm a Republican" stuff, or she's gonna pay!!
Thanks to us, Star will not leave empty-handed. We have a lovely Red Swingline stapler on the way to the studio as we speak... So what happens to the View Crew now?? The same as any group of people that have success together, but think they are the reason the success occurs. Star will get her own talk show - and Bomb! Meredith will show NBC that Katie Couric is the only Katie Couric around, and The View will hire Leslie Uggams or Cicely Tyson to replace Star, and they'll chat about Osteoporosis or their grandkids for a month - until they're cancelled....
"You Cannot Stop Milton, you Can Only Hope to Contain Him"