Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mark Sanford Goes Hollywood........


I hope that finger gun of Sanford's isn't loaded..... Coming to theaters this Fall. I AM MARSHALL......... The story of a state government in shambles - hundreds of millions of dollars in debt, underfunded education and explosive spending. Until one man rose from the ashes and brought them back from the wreckage...

I AM MARSHALL: THE MARK SANFORD STORY , starring Matthew McConnaughey, is the inspirational tale of one man, his pair of defacating piglets, and a dream - to run government like a business, and to keep the money in the taxpayers' pockets.

Taking on the cast of evil characters ( Tommy "Sir Spend a lot" Moore) and his henchmen Hugh "Baby New Year" Leatherman and Dan "Boca Huevo" Cooper, Sanford gives the bad guys a lesson for the ages......... The Good Guys Win in the End..

I AM MARSHALL........ Coming soon to a theater near you, and to DVD a week later!

I Got a Love Letter from Jimmy Carter Today........I Feel SO DIRTY !!!

Having donated my share of money to politicians, I get a lot of requests from various groups. Most of them have the common sense to know that I'm a staunch Republican, so imagine my shock and shame to see that I got a letter in my PO Box from none other than the Pride of Plains, Georgia - Jimmy Carter !

I like Habitat for Humanity, so I've never given Carter too much grief... Now Carter has a group called The Carter Center. From the brochure they sent, it has a wide net with the aim being "Can't We All Get Along?".. From what I read, they are such a pacifist group that they make the Gang of 14 look like hardliners.

Sure, negotiations can resolve a lot of the world's conflicts, but Jimmy Carter has such a reputation of backbending for the sake of peace, that I think he bends over forward, rather than backwards. Who would be afraid of a group led by Jimmy Carter? Groups negotiate with Carter to reach an accord, then break it when someone's guard is down. Sounds like something I want to give my hard earned cash to - let's negotiate with Al-Qaida, give up Iraq, Indonesia and Sudan, then act surprised when they try to blow us up again....

Thanks, Mr. President Carter....... but no thanks!

Wilbur !!!! FITS Calls It Quits......

SC Blogging was dealt a bit of a blow when Will Folks blog, Faith in the Sound, announced that they were closing shop. Hopefully, Will's gotten a spot in Columbia that doesn't allow him the time to blog anymore.

I liked reading FITS, even though I never got a good mention from him in print. Will did do me a lot of favors when he was on Mark Sanford's staff, and that's what really matters. Will's blog was funny, politically smart, and he worked hard on it. I'll miss the stiletto mafia, and all the other figments of Will's imagination. I'll also miss names like 'Egg-Tooth" and "The Mayor of Importantville".

Hasta, Will ! See you on the road...

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Rock Star: Jim Clyburn Hits the Semi-Finals!!

Good day, reality TV fans, and welcome to Rock Star: Jim Clyburn. As you can see above, Jim is showing a minister the proper hand positions for driving - 10 and 2 o'clock people!! Last week, we said goodbye to our right-leaning intern candidate, Amy. Unfortunately, she is no longer with us....... Next time , read the fine print, Amy! Well, let's not waste any time, I'm going to send it to our hostess with the mostest, Brooke Burke !!

Brooke: Hello, and welcome to Rock Star: Jim Clyburn.. Our remaining three contestants are chomping at the bit to win our coveted internship for House Majority Whipmaster, Jim Clyburn.... where they can look forward to picking up Jim's dry cleaning, taste testing his food, and taking the blame when Jim forgets to list important business partnerships on his disclosure statements for four years.

Today's immunity challenge is a little different. Keeping in the spirit of Rock Star, our contestants will need to perform a song for us, but it MUST keep with the key tenants of Clyburn's policies: whatever they are!! You have 5 minutes to write it....

(tick, tock, tick, tock).....

Brooke: That's much better... Clothes can be so restricting, don'tcha think?? Ok Destiny, you're first up - what do you have?

Destiny: I'm gonna perform my lyrics to Britney Spears' Oops, I Did It Again......

Brooke: Great ! The last thing I ever would expect is a waitress from Hooters is for her to sing bubble gum music..... This oughta be good.

Destiny: oops, i'm building a bridge. The other white meat, just playing the game - oh baby, baby.

oops, you think I'm so smart, just like a fart... i'm not that intelligent!!

Brooke: I'm stunned, Destiny.... No doubt Bob Dylan and Bono are shaking in their boots right now!! Well, we'll see if it holds up. Todd, you're up. Please don't tell me you're gonna do an 'N Sync song!

Todd: Brooke, please, they are SOOOOOOO 2003!! I'm going Old School! I'm going to sing to Percy Sledge' s When a Man Loves a Woman... Hit it, Ringo !!

When a Man Loves an Earmark, He can't do no wrong. Turn his back on every concept of sensible spending if they put it down.

He gives up all his senses, calls everyone a racist... If they dare complain about it.....

Brooke: OK, OK!! That's about all I can stand...We get the point! All I can say is Mark Foley must have been wearing earplugs when you worked in his office!! Ja'Ron, please help us here.

Ja'Ron: All I gotta say is Y'all Suck, Hardcore!! I was going to sing to Mike Jones, but I don't think you guys can handle it, so i'll do Coolio's Gangsta's Paradise instead.....

As I walk thru the House I deliver the pain, you take a look my bills and realize that i'm insane. Power-spending money, money spending power , gimme money for a minute- I'll spend it for an hour!

You'll spend half your life paying off our Liberal Paradise, Go ahead insult my wife, I'm stuck in a Liberal's Paradise.....

Brooke: Ahem, would it be a little insulting to say i'm a bit disapppointed? Well, someone has to win. For our decision, we go to the expert. Tommy Lee is missing in action right now, along with Destiny again, so we go to smarmy MTV News fossil, Kurt Loder!!

Kurt: this really doesn't matter..... What, with genocide in Darfur, the Worldwide AIDS epidemic, and........

Brooke: Silence, Geek Boy!! No cares what you think! Just pick one!!

Kurt: Uh..... Ja'Ron, I guess.

Brooke: congrats, Ja'Ron, once again, you get a free pass to the Final Round.... coming up next, one of our contestants goes home, and I change outfits !!

Brooke: I can't believe more people read FITS and LaurinLine than this blog... look at me!! Tommy Lee is back, along with James Carville to ask the final question. Tommy Lee, you're up first... Ask Destiny her question....

Tommy: In a minute... Brooke , I think I dropped my keys by your feet, can you feel around for them???

Brooke: Bite me, Tommy!

Tommy: Ok, Ok...... Hey babe, uh..... my question this time is.......uh.. What are the top items sold at Hooters??

Brooke: C'mon, tommy, she works there!

Tommy: That ain't the ONLY place she's been workin'!

Destiny: uh, I don't know... You see, I lied. I'm only the hostess, so I don't know the menu yet!!

Carville: well, ad muss ad I respett a liar in politickin' , I'm afeared you lose, sweetie!

Brooke: Well Todd, you get the same question: name the top items at Hooters.

Todd: I know that! You see, I once went there with Rep. Foley, and boy was he MAD!! He said he never wanted to go to a place with girls in skimpy outfits again!! That, and he got gas from the Buffalo Wings and Beer, so i'll say Beer and Wings!

Brooke: You are right! Todd, you've made it to the finals!! Destiny, please take off your "Hello, My Name is .." sticker and get into the execution chamber....

Destiny: Tommy, Save Me !!

Tommy: Honey, i've had Pam Anderson AND Heather Locklear........be real!

Brooke: Well, that wraps up another Rock Star: Jim Clyburn !!

Destiny: AAAARRRGGHHH!!!!!!!

Brooke: Tune in next week, when Jim himself will be here to pick his next lackey!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

My Brother's Brush With Greatness... Delivering Howard Stern's New Car !!

Most of us lead ordinary existences... Lives which don't vary much from day-to-day, and are generally pretty boring. Then once in a while, we cross paths with the rich , famous and powerful. Even if for just a minute, it puts a bright spot on an otherwise dull life.

I've said it before. I am a huge Howard Stern fan, probably since I was 14. Maybe not as much as I used to be, but still a fan. Well, my brother Matt in New York got a treat this week. It seems that Howard bought a new Audi A8, and needed it delivered to his house in the Hamptons. The dealer called Matt's body shop, and Matt is the flatbed driver, so he got the gig.

Matt was taking the car off the truck, when Howard and his superhot girlfriend Beth just came off of the beach. Howard was pretty excited to get the car, and the two chatted for a couple minutes. He was pretty lucky - most people don't get to bring a $100k car they've been waiting for. Howard offered Matt lunch and an extra tip, but he had to get going.

All in all, it was a pretty surreal experience, but it makes for a pretty cool story. So far, the only celebrity I ever met was Debbie Gibson, not including politicians. I might have to listen to Howard's show on Monday to see if he talks about it... Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Turkey Day !!

Thanksgiving Day is here again... And it's gone off without a hitch, with the exception of Spongebob Squarepants attacking his handlers here. Don't work, only a couple of them died - that's why they use so many of them.

While we may think of Thanksgiving with eating Turkey, or Football or Parades, the true reason is to give thanks for all we have. While it's been a tough year, even I have plenty to be thankful for. I have a good job, my health, plenty of friends, and the greatest blog on the planet!!!

Thanks to Earl, Moye, West Rhino, Chip, Josh and all my regulars, and to my slew of anonymous friends... Gobble, Gobble!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

SC6 Endorses Mary Pearson for Dorchester Treasurer......

I'm pleased to hear that Mary Pearson has received the overwhelming support of Dorchester County Republicans for the vacant Treasurer's position. I've known Mary for about three years now, and she is a top flight candidate for the job.

Mary is a leading member of nearly every GOP group in South Carolina and in the Lowcountry. She is an Executive Committeeman of the SCGOP, and just about every group in the Charleston area. She is a strong, yet quiet leader who has earned her stripes. The support she has given me and all candidates in the party has been invaluable.

If there is a person who can follow through on Governor Sanford's goals of controlling spending and leaving taxpayers money in their own pockets, Mary is it. The first step seems to have been taken to achieve that goal...... My hope is that it goes all the way. Good Luck , Mary!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Alright, One Last Post on This Picture, Then We're Done.....

Geez.......... Nancy's got MAN HANDS !!! Look at those Meat Hooks.... Okay, we've milked this cow for all it's worth.. Pun intended. If I missed something, please let me know.

Rock Star: Jim Clyburn Has It's First Job.... Out the West Rhino !!!!

Welcome to the opening round of Rock Star: Jim Clyburn! Our four contestants are here, waiting for the first elimination. As you know, the winner will have an opportunity of a lifetime - to be an intern for Whipmaster Jim Clyburn, where he/she will get to pick up lunch or coffee for the staff, and to check the mail for Anthrax.

Congressman Clyburn is not here with us, but guest panelists James Carville and Tommy Lee are here, as well as our hostess, Brooke Burke...


My God , she is smokin'..........

Anyway, back to the action. The first challenge awaits. As you know, a major job is to sniff out any and all enemies of a Congressman, and to find dirt on them. I'm pretty high on the Whipmaster's list, so our first job is to out the most illusive of my blog buddies - the wily West Rhino. Amy, Destiny, Ja'Ron and Todd - GO GET 'EM !!

(tick , tock, tick, tock)......

Brooke, take it from here.....

Brooke: Ok Amy, who is the Rhino?

Amy: Well, I crossreferenced all of the transmissions between SC6's posts, and I attempted to backtrack the source of the posts... and after calling some secret connections I know at the FCC.........I have NO IDEA.

Brooke: Too Bad.. Destiny, who is the Rhino?

Destiny: Well, you see... I was getting ready to check.. Then I ran into Tommy Lee in the dressing room.... and the next thing I know, time was up.

Brooke: Back to Hooters, Destiny! Todd, any idea??

Todd: Well, I drove to the Zoo in West Columbia, and I went to the Rhino cage, and I asked him what his name was, and I swear, he made no sense whatsoever!! What the heck is PPFFFFTT!!!

Brooke: God help us! Ja'Ron, please ... To give us any hope for America's future, can you name the West Rhino??

Ja'Ron: Yeah, it's Don __________.

Brooke: Great Googly Moogly!! That's right! How did you find out?

J'Ron: I asked Cyndi Mosteller. DUUUHHHH!!

Brooke: Congrats, JaRon. You win a pass to the next round. First, let me change outfits.

Brooke: There... That's more like it. Uh, is anyone else in here a little COLD???? Anyway, we now have the Elimination Round. Each contestant will be asked a question by our guest panelist or myself. If you get it wrong , you will be eliminated unless someone gets it wrong. Ok, first up is Todd, because he was the biggest idiot so far. Todd, I will ask the question. What is the legal minimum age for a Congressional page?

Todd: Oh, I know that one, because I met Congressman Foley when I was 15, and I told him I wanted to be a page, and he said, "Uh Not until you're 16, Sugarbritches!!!" So it's 16.

Brooke: Absolutely right, Sugarbritches.... I mean Todd! You will continue on... Destiny, it's your turn. Your question will be given by guest panelist Tommy Lee...

Tommy: Uh, cool...... Hey, babe... uh....... my question is....... how big am I?

Destiny: I know ____________ !!!!

Brooke: Like who doesn't know that!! I remember back in the 90's , I met Tommy at the Rainbow Club, and.....

Tommy: Hey Brooke, I was married back then!!!

Brooke: Whatever.. Ok, that leaves it up to our resident Republican, Amy. Sweetie your question will be asked by Democratic Strategist James Carville.. James , what is your question?

Carville: Well Brunk, the questin iddint what da questin id, buh whuh da questin iddin't. Hnuh, Hnuh?? Ya see, back in Nona-two, Bill Clin-tone axed me what da mose im-potent issya id... An I says tah him, " It da E-cono-me , Stoopit"!! Hnuh, Hnuh!

Amy: I think I'm in trouble....

Brooke: How does Mary Matalin put up with you? Ask the question, Mushmouth!

James: EZ dere, Hot Pants! ok, nah, A-mee..... Name all da fo hunnert thorty fai membuh o' da upcomin' House O' Repuh-zenda-tiffs!

Amy: Are you kidding? Brooke, he's kidding , right??

Brooke: He gets to pick the question..... You have thirty seconds....(tick, tock, tick , tock).

Amy: Uh... Clyburn, Pelosi, Hoyer, Boehnert, Blunt, THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!!!!! Pence, Spratt, Rangel, Murtha, Brown, Brown, Brown...

Brooke: 3....2....1....


Brooke: ZERO! I'm sorry, Amy. Please take off your "Hello, my Name Is" sticker , and quickly proceed to the Execution Chamber....

Amy: WHAT??!!!!!!

Brooke: Well, that leaves us with only three contestants left...


Brooke: Come back next week for the Semifinals of Rock Star: Jim Clyburn!!! Until then, here's something for you to think about.....

God Bless America !!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

We're Not Done With This Picture Yet.........

No, no Nancy........... it's the MIDDLE finger, and turn your hand the OTHER way!!

America Loses It's Economist and It's Coach......

" Son, you wear a Peace symbol on your lapel, and have "Born to Kill" on your helmet.. What are you trying to say?"

" I think I was trying to speak about the Duality of Man.... the Jungian thing."

"Son, whose side are you on???"

Most of us here love to chat about politics, but it's not always what we care most about, and it's not what is most important in our daily lives. I think that is best exemplified by the passing of economist Milton Friedman and Michigan football coach Bo Schembechler. Things like this allow us to take a minute to realize this.

Friedman was often called "America's Economist". A fervent support of free trade, Friedman represented what America is about: allowing the Economy to remain unfettered by barriers and restrictions, and letting the market determine if something fails or survives. Political affiliations aside, the freedom that America allows us is what makes this country the greatest in the world, and Friedman personified it from an economic standpoint.

From the other side, who doesn't love college football? Eleven guys, working together for no money ( we'll stay away from commenting on this), led by a coach. College football is great because they are still young nough that they listen to their coach - a man who often molds them, and teaches them life lessons, not just X's and O's. In the Ohio State/Michigan game, I was always a Wolverine fan. Coach Schembechler never won a championship, but his consistency was outstanding: In 21 years, he was 1st or 2nd in the Big Ten 17 times, and was never worse
than 4th. Clemson and Carolina would love those numbers. It's nice to hear his former players talk about how he helped them become good people, as well as good players. That is what coaching is about.

As far as today's game, it probably won't be enough for Michigan. Ohio State has been more consistent, they're at home, and they have the best player on the field in Troy Smith. Ohio State, 24-17.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Same Picture, Still More Comments on Nancy Pelosi..

Incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi held a press conference today to inform the media specifically which finger she would insert in the House Republicans sphincters. Hope she wears a glove.

CBS Unveils It's Newest Reality Show.......Rock Star : Jim Clyburn !!

Jim is seen here, performing his own version of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me".....

CBS Reality Show king Mark Burnett held a press conference today to announce his newest installment to the Rock Star Reality Series. This year, the show will have a new twist: rather than give aspiring singers a chance to front a major rock band, political wannabes will have a chance to be on the staff of incoming House Majority Whip, James Clyburn.

" In a lot of ways, politicians ARE Rock Stars... Drugs , Sex, Perversions, screwing other people - these are all the same things, right?" explained Burnett. Whipmaster Clyburn will have one enjoyable perk: working next to Megababe , Brooke Burke. "Man, that chick is Banging!! I would've done this for free. Hey, is Dave Navarro still married to Carmen Electra?". When he was informed they broke up, Clyburn was quoted as saying one word: "S**t".

Joining Clyburn on the panel are Political Analyst James Carville, MTV News Host Kurt Loder, and former Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, who still has nothing better to do. They will whittle the contestants down to a final winner, who will spend the next six months making coffee, blowing up balloons, getting lunch for the staff, and testing the congressman's mail for Anthrax. Knowing the potential for extremely low ratings, Rock Star: Jim Clyburn has decided to only have 4 contestants. They are:

1. Todd: A recently dismissed page of Rep. Mark Foley's staff, Todd is looking forward to earning a trip back to the Hill.
2. Destiny: A college sophomore who currently supplements her college education by waitressing at a restaurant known for their chicken wings and skimpy outfits.
3. Ja'Ron: The Howard University Junior lists his heroes as Martin Luther King Jr., Miles Davis, and , um......... Rep. Cynthia McKinney.
4. Amy: The Yale freshman set a Guinness World Record by reading Ann Coulter's book an amazing 675 times....... Good luck , honey.

Those are the combatants, the judges are ready, Jim's practicing cracking his new whip, Brooke is as hot as usual......... Let the games begin!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My Open Application for Gov. Sanford's Chief of Staff...

Dear Gov. Sanford,
I read that you were looking for a New Chief of Staff, so I would like to put my name into the hat for your consideration. While it may be a safe bet to pick someone that you know and trust, like Tom Davis, I disagree. I can't tell you exactly why, but I disagree.

If I look familiar, it's because I've seen you on the campaign trail all the time. Not like the stalker/get a restraining order type, just a big fan.. You might remember me at the VFW hall in Goose Creek in 2004 - I kept trying to stuff a copy of my tax incentive plan in your jacket. Or last year at Sparkleberry Swamp - I was the one who flattened Clyburn's tires.. Like I said , I'm a big fan.

I do have leadership experience in politics too. I, uh.... Well, I was Vice President of the Republicans for Tommy Moore at USC - Salkehatchie. You see, it was Rush Week, and I was pledging Delta Upsilon Mu, so I thought the whole thing was a fraternity prank. I mean, did that group really exist? I spent half the Fall semester waiting for one of my DUM brothers to tell me the whole thing was a joke! Next thing I know, I'm getting congratulations from Jakie Knotts for getting 47% of the vote in Colleton County......Sorry.

All that aside, I think I'm an ideal guy for you. I shop with coupons, I haven't paid for lunch in years, and I still drive the same 85 Nissan Pulsar that I had in high school.. With a little work, I think I can get the State budget down to zero in about 3 years.

There are my qualifications. You can send a message in the comments if you want to have a meeting sometime. Congratulations on your victory, and I look forward to leading your team for the next 4 years.



Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Rudy for President !!!! NOW I'm Excited !!

I heard the big news........ Rudy is running for President ! Finally, an ordinary Joe running for office. This is what America needs - a guy who worked in the mines, earned his way through junior college, worked his way to Notre Dame, and overcame his physical limitations to make their legendary football team.

Yes, Rudy is a true inspiration for all of America, and..........uh, what Rudy are we talking about?? Giuliani? Oh....... That's cool too.

Who's Skin Did I Get Under THIS TIME ??

I had an interesting day over at Devinely Southern.. Frank's been fawning over the likely naming of Jim Clyburn as Majority Whip. With his new title, Frank feels that the bridge over Lake Marion is a done deal now. Being one who loves to throw salt into the open wound of stupidity, I have been discussing it back and forth over the weekend, and I was even joined by the Queen of the Blogosphere herself, Laurin Manning, in the demerits of the project.

Now , I love discussing the finer points of politics with Frank, because he continues to try and defend the indefensible. I think there is mutual respect, although our views differ, and I think there are different motivations. There are politicians I respect, and some I don't. And then there are those I disagree with on a point or two. In my opinion, the only way to earn respect is to credit that person where he/she is right, and criticize them where they are wrong.

Frank has an apparent love affair with Old Jim. In his mind , Jim can do no wrong. No doubt, Jim is a role model for any young African -American especially. However, that in no way means that everything that he comes up with is right. As kids, we all idolize our parents, but when we get older, we find their flaws. In the end, we keep the good, throw out the bad, and become our own people. This is what I have tried to instill into all young people like him.

The discussion of the bridge between us caused a friend of his to think the fur was flying, so I explained that it wasn't, but that I felt Frank was defending the indefensible in the hopes of getting on Clyburn's staff. All of a sudden, the entire posting was gone, including Clyburn's letter to his fellow Congressmen - the whole thing!! Did I touch a nerve, or is someone else reading his blog, and they didn't like it? Is one of the Whipmaster's henchmen keeping tabs on us??

Hey, maybe something else happened, but it sure doesn't look like it from my end. I don't think I really insulted anyone, or exposed some big secret going on. Sure, I'd like to work my way up the ladder, but I wouldn't turn myself into a Stepford Wife to do it. I've got my own brain, and we all do. In the end, you get more respect for your independent thought than for being a dominatrix's submissive partner.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Morning News Loses the Only Reporter I Liked...

It is a dark week for readers of the Florence Monkey Nuts , as Political Reporter Marisa Kwiatkowski will be leaving us. Yes, Marisa is moving on to greener pastures, as she leaves the Pee Dee for a larger paper in Indiana. That's a good thing, because working at the News is a fast track to poverty.

We'll miss little Marisa, because she was the only one at the paper that wrote anything positive about me. Also, she is such a cutie !! Believe me, I was looking forward to getting on Council, if only to shoot the fecal matter with her.

So, Bon Voyage, Marisa! Best of Luck in your new job!

Pelosi Names the Dems Top Priority for Next Year....

" My top priority for the next year........ Is for SOMEONE to pull my finger !"

Sunday, November 12, 2006

SC6 Names the Top 10 Rock/Metal Songs of My "Golden Years".......

To kick off our new focus while I am thoroughly disgusted with all things political (we'll see how long it lasts), SC6 presents topic that always gets a lot of comments - Heavy Metal !! Just in case your were wondering, I'm the guy on the left, circa 1984.... kidding!!

I've been pondering my favorite songs of the Rock/Heavy Metal Era, or what I call The Golden Years. That fabulous time when the only magazines worth reading were Circus and Hit Parader. Where my closet consisted solely of concert shirts, Levi's 501's and flannels. When every girl in my neighborhood looked like Joan Jett, and we had no idea Freddie Mercury or Rob Halford were gay.

To qualify, the song needs to be between 1981 (about when I hit puberty, because kids CAN'T ROCK) and late 1991 ( when I finished college and life got serious). That takes the Alternative revolution and Classic Rock out of the contest. We're talking purely the Heavy Metal era. This takes a lot of the Neo Glam bands out of the loop - sorry, no Poison, Faster Pussycat, Enuff Z'nuff or Cinderella here. So, let's take a trip back in time........

#10 - Ratt: Lay It Down

Ratt is close to a Glam Band, but they can actually play (CC Deville couldn't hold Warren Di Martini's jock). Sure, 'Round and Round' was a bigger hit, but Lay it Down has always been my favorite. like I said on a previous post, their Behind the Music was a little cliche, except for Robbin Crosby's bout with HIV.

#9 - Rainbow: Stone Cold

Somewhere in my closet, there is a copy of the moldy oldie. After Deep Purple broke up, Ritchie Blackmore took his Stratocaster and started Rainbow. The major additions to Rainbow were drummer Bobby Rondinelli ( a friend of mine) and singer Joe Lynn Turner. I wore this album out for a couple years, before Rainbow broke up - Blackmore is not known to be easy to get along with.

#8 - Motley Crue: Dr. Feelgood

Sometime between 1981 and 1989, Mick Mars took some guitar lessons, because Dr. Feelgood was a real kickass album, and I was not a real big fan before then. It seems that kicking drugs has a positive effect often of rock bands. As Tommy Lee put it, "We got along better, we felt better, we played better - Hey, that's important." Smart boy, Tommy....

#7 - Iron Maiden , Flight of Icarus.

So many songs, which one to choose??? When most bands sang vaguely about demons, drugs or other bland topics, Bruce Dickinson and the boys were talking about Bible stories, Cowboys and Indians and the Revolution. And how many other bands had a mascot?? Eddie Rules!

#6 - Guns 'n Roses, Paradise City.

For about 4 years, G'nR ruled the planet. Appetite for Destruction came on like the intro to 'Welcome to the Jungle', and a band like no other was here. Paradise City is a song that still holds up over the years, thanks to Slash's Heroin- fueled solo's. Unfortunately, Axl Rose's pursuit of making EVERY song an epic turned him into an asshole, and Guns called it quits. Slash, Duff and Matt Sorum continue on with Velvet Revolver, and Axl is in a psych ward in Vienna, talking about how he killed Mozart.

#5 - Living Colour , Open Letter to a Landlord

no, Vernon Reid was not the most talented guitarist I've ever heard, but Living Colour could rock, funk, jazz and metal out like no other. Corey Glover showed he could sing even better than he could act ( he starred in Platoon), and the fact that Heavy Metal could make room for African-Americans who spoke their minds was a major step. A top selection in my tape deck for about 3 years.

#4 - Metallica, One.

I left this picture of bassist Cliff Burton on the post, because even though he died in 1986, before And Justice for All came out, his handprint was all over the album. This was a band still grieving, still angry, and it showed. It declared the American Dream dead, and it's use of Dalton Trumbo's film, Johnny Got His Gun, added a dramatic aspect that pushed Metallica out of the pack, and set them up for the superstardom that followed with 1991's Black Album.

#3 - Judas Priest, You've Got Another Thing Comin'.

Okay, so MAYBE I wasn't paying much attention to Rob Halford's wardrobe selections while in High School... Sexual preference aside, no one rocked better than Priest. Like Iron Maiden, I could pick from a dozen tracks, but this one chugs along like a freight train, and like most Priest songs, has a solo that you know every note to. As Rob would say, "OH YEAH!"

#2 - Ozzy Osbourne, Over the Mountain.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the next Governor of California! Hey, don't be surprised if it happens. Ozzy is the grand old man of Metal, but for everyone my age back in the early 80's, Randy Rhoads was the be all and end all of guitarists. He and Ozzy had one of those classic collaborations until Rhoads tragic death in 1982. Ozzy's music suffered for a decade, until he found Zakk Wylde. Ozzy continues on, still making great music and television. SHARON !!!!!!!!!!! Tha fufmi dug shy onna cahpo agin!!! Translation? The F'ing dog shit on the carpet again.

#1 - Faith No More - Epic.

It has been 17 years since this song came out, and it is STILL in my CD changer!! When Mike Patton joined the band, and they made The Real Thing, they unknowingly influenced a generation of artists. Up to that point, NO ONE mixed Rap and Heavy Metal together - Anthrax and Public Enemy came years later. Though guitarist Jim Martin was not a master guitarist, his solo was probably the most tension laden, angst-ridden solo ever made. Faith No More followed with another great album with 1992's Angel Dust, but Patton's continued toying with his Mr. Bungle project brought Faith No More to an end. But they live on in my car still !

Honorable Mention to a Band that Didn't Even Exist: Spinal Tap. Any Heavy Metal fan who didn't see and love this movie should have his head examined by Lemmy Kilmeister with a corkscrew! One of my all-time favorite movies. Oh my God.... They're playing Paradise City on a Harley commercial, with a bunch of SHEEP?? Well, at least it's a Harley ad.

Well, those are MY picks. I'm sure there are ones I forgot, so add your picks if you choose - my memory is a little fuzzy from that decade!

Friday, November 10, 2006

SC6 Pays It's Respects to Jack Palance.....

" I Crap Bigger Than You "
Jack Palance in City Slickers.

One of my favorite things was to recite lyrics from bad 80's song in Jack Palance's voice. Try it sometime , it's pretty funny. For example....

"They told you..breath.. don't you ever come around here. Don't wanna see your face... breath.. you better disappear.. The fire's in their eyes.. breath. and their wartime's been declared, so beat it....breath....just beat it.

Jack played bad guys better than anyone, but anyone my age remembers Jack for the TV show, "Believe It Or Not". Tough guy, funny guy - Jack Palance.

Nancy Pelosi Makes First Prediction for America...........

"America, You're doomed....... You're ALL DOOMED!!!!!!"

House Speaker Nancy Pelosigeist II.

Personally, I don't like her new , shorter hairstyle. Too dikey.

Okay, the Dems got their wish - they run the House and Senate. If they learn from the GOP's mistakes (Pork and Waste), it could be a long trip back. I don't think it'll work out that way. Dem or GOP, Congress loves the Other White Meat with a passion. Since I have no choice anyway, this may be a good thing for '08. If the Dems blow it, then they will lose everyting back in '08. Be careful what you ask for.....

Race and Politics Have a Long Way to Go in Florence....

So, what happened Tuesday? I haven't picked up the totals from the Election Commission office yet, but here's what I can tell from watching the results come in...

I did pretty good in the districts that I needed, but not the 85-90% I needed. Meanwhile, the other districts that are black majority went almost exclusively for my opponent. In short, all the whites voted for me, and all the blacks went the other way. In a 60-40 black district, it was 59-41, so I would first like to thank the 30 or so people that viewed this race by more than our skin pigment.

It's pretty sad that in this day and age, people still vote this way. Another problem was voter apathy. After 16 years of no Republicans running for this seat, you would think that more than 30 or 40% would show up and vote. Okay, it's official.... People in District 3 are not allowed to complain anymore - you had your chance, and you blew it.

The last one was actually a bit funny to me. The absentee ballots came in, and the close 400 vote race more than doubled to a 900 vote romp. I'll tell you one thing: there are a lot of invalids and dead people who voted this past Tuesday. Ever see 23% of a candidate's total votes come from absentees before? Me neither, but I lost anyway, and not only because of this, so why complain?

I've spent the past 3 years pounding my head against a wall to change things , but it has been an abject failure. I haven't cracked that nut one bit, and I've only exposed myself to slander and criticism. I'm more concerned with enjoying life now than building a political career. In short, I am done with running for office for the forseeable future. I got a lot of help financially this time, so it's not about the money I spent. I am just really tired, and I have nothing to show for it. It's time to work from behind the scenes and let them take the heat.

The good part is that SC6 will get pretty good now. Less concern about not getting people mad will make it more fun, and more real. Enjoy!

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Big Day........ Here at Last!!

Election Day is finally here, and we've done all we can. The signs are up at all the polling stations, I used every brochure that I had, and we contacted over 90% of the voters on our calls. All I can say is......

"Vote for Mike Reino, and all your wildest dreams will come true."

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sgt. Hartmann Returns to "Motivate " You to Vote Tuesday....

With just a handful of hours left before the polls open, we've brought back out favorite gunnery sergeant, and the Tony Robbins of politics, Sgt. Hartmann.....

sc6: What say you, gunny?
Sgt: What's your name, Sweetheart?

sc6: Uh, that's not important. Word is that there is a good chance of the Republicans sweeping all of the state offices in South Carolina. Why is that?
Sgt: Because we kill every living thing we see!

sc6: Right. Is this the death knell for Democrats in SC?
Sgt: Their days of getting votes from Old Mary Jane Rottencrotch are OVER!!! How tall are you?

sc6: I dunno, maybe 5'8''.
Sgt. I didn't know they stacked s**t that high. You sure you're trying to squeeze an inch on me?

sc6: I might be. Any advice for those thinking of staying home.
Sgt. You are worthless pukes! You are no more than lowlife, scum sucking maggots!! Get the f--- out of my polling station!!!

sc6: Well, I'll end it there. Thanks again, Sgt. Hartmann. By the way, any questions for us?
Sgt: Yeah, did your parents have any kids that lived???

sc6: Thanks again....


And Now, a Break From Politics..........

Republican or Democrat, everyone loves puppies!! Don't ask me what breed they are, just enjoy and have a nice day!

One Cent Makes Sense.... And Chickens of Candidates.

I had a post on this months ago, so I won't go into the issue of the State Infrastructure Bank, but I read an advertisement for the penny tax increase. It includes a list of singatures of those who support the tax, and I am listed on it. I spoke of the good and bad aspects of it, but on the whole, Florence County will benefit from it, so I signed it.

The odd part is that the other three candidates for County Council are in favor of it as well, but somehow, their names are absent from it. So much for putting your signature where your mouth is. Sure, I know a lot of people who disagree with the tax, and I respect that. However, it seems to me that if you are in favor of an issue, you will have the guts to show your support, and take the criticism that may come with it. It's a good thing that the men in the room back in 1776 didn't worry about it.

Politics is a funny thing. Just say what everyone wants to hear, even if you can't do it, and don't dare take a stand for anything seems to be the order. It should come as no surprise that I was the ONLY candidate to sign the petition , along with EVERY sitting member of County Council. I hope that the voters look at this and see that candidates need to have specific ideas and stances on issues, not just tag lines and slogans. Two days to go, back to work!!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Will the REAL Al Bradley Please Stand Up .....

Florence County Council Candidate has double knocking on doors for him.

I thought I had seen it all. After all, I did run against Gary McLeod, so I didn't hink it got any stranger than that. However, the insanity going on in this race is unlike anything I've been involved with in politics.

When I was a kid, there was a TV show called "To Tell The Truth". It had three contestants, all claiming to be the same person, and the panelists ( Peggy Cass, Kitty Carlisle and somebody else) would ask the questions, then vote on who they felt was the real person. District 3 needs to have it's own TTTT.

My opponent, Al Bradley, apparently is too busy to knock on doors this campaign season, so he is having someone else do it for him. Normally this might not be a big deal, but the problem is that this guy is telling voters that HE is Al Bradley. How do I this? Because people I know have noticed that the guy who they talked to is not the guy in the newspaper. A friend of mine had Bradley No.2 in his house for at least a half hour. I have seen this man myself when he came by my house during the Primary. He is about the same height as Bradley, but he is darker skinned, and he wears glasses. He is apparently a better talker than Al also. Maybe they should have nominated the other guy.......

Time for more advice: First, Know What House Your Opponent Lives In. If i hadn't seen the guy myself, including his Black Ford Taurus, I probably wouldn't make much out of this. Secondly, Don't Say You Are the Candidate if You Aren't. Next time, try " Hi, I'm ________, and I'm here on behalf of Al Bradley". See... Now you're not a big liar. Easy enough??

Now, between this and the post from a couple weeks ago, is there ANY doubt that this man is not fit to be on Council? He is ethically challenged, paranoid and a little lazy. It's bad enough that the only specific plans he has mentioned is reducing the car tax - 4 months after I did. The last thing Florence County needs is a Councilman who won't add anything and can't handle his campaign professionally. Harry Logan........ does this merit any critiquing yet?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Sanford/T-Rav/Eckstrom Tour Ends When Bus Runs Out of Gas !!!

The Campaign for Fiscal Conservatism came to a sudden halt this afternoon when the bus transporting them ran out of gas, and none of the candidates were willing to pay for filling it back up.

A large crowd gathered outside of Shaw Lumber in Florence, as the three candidates discussed why each of them couldn't pay for the gas. The notoroiously frugal Sanford claimed that his staff took off with his jacket and wallet and were already en route to the next stop. Ravenel had concerns that by paying for the gas, he would be accused of "Buying the Election" by Grady Patterson troll Trav Robertson ( apparently, Patterson does little accusing since his infamous State interview). Meanwhile, Eckstrom simply said, "I've had enough trouble with vans this year, thank you."

At last check, the three were involved in a Paper / Rock / Scissor marathon to settle the dispute. By the way, I'm pretty sure the story about Sanford's jacket is true ! Such is life on the campaign trail.......