Thursday, December 31, 2009

SC6's Man of the Year ...


In our book, hands down, it is Capt. Chesley Sullenberger. When you land a jetplane flawlessly in the Hudson River, and save 150 people - including Michael Nunn, now with the Florence County Sheriff's Office - you deserve some kudos. More importantly, he refused to take advantage of his fame for personal profit or noteriety.....
It goes to show, there's something to be said for good training.......
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy Birthday to the Most Powerful Man In Clarendon County !!!



Today is Clarendon County GOP Chair and Four Horsemen member Moye Graham's 35th birthday. Wish him a good one... Seriously, Moye is one of the hardest working and well-connected people in the Republican Party in South Carolina and outside... He's also one of my biggest supporters in good times and bad, and a very dear friend. In short, Moye is that rare breed - Men want to be like him, and Women want to be with him .....




Happy Birthday, Moye !



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Get This Year Overwith ....


We Can't Wait For 2010, Because There's No Way That .... It.... Could .... Be ... Worse.... Than 2009?
Remember all the hope and promise we had at this last year? We had a new President, a new Congress full of Democrats, and the economy HAD to pick up in 2009, right? RIGHT ??? Anyone, Bueller ????
I'll tell you what, I had a pretty crappy 2009... I busted my ass, only to get my pay cut in 1/3, which put me in a position to turn my life upside down, and it hasn't worked out 100%, despite all the best efforts of some really great friends. I made a lot of progress with Ms. X to be good buddies, but that seems to have hit the skids a bit, which sucks, because I've been really good too. I'm still kinda broke, and I didn't get laid once in 2009 - again!
Still, it could be worse. 2010 is definitely a make or break year for me. There's a lot of flux with work, 2 houses and personal stuff up the ying-yang - but we'll figure it out. And when we do, you'll be the first to know. Luckily, we have statewide and national elections to keep us occupied this year! Enjoy the New Year, drive safe and Best Wishes to all of you in 2010.....
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

SC6 Question of the Day: How Long Is Too Long?


I Think The Cat Means 'A Second Term' ......
I got another e-mail from one of my buddies, with a bunch of suggestions for our next group of Congressmen and Senators. Sorry, but I think castration for all Congressmen to prevent screwing interns is a bit harsh.... However, we are more and more becoming fans of Term Limits. We've wavered a bit back and forth, but we're pretty sure that Congress will never willingly fire themselves, so we must do it for them. But, the question does need to be asked ..... How Long Is Long Enough?
The suggestion was for three Congressional terms and one Senatorial term, to avoid making a career of politics. So, you could presumably spend 12 years in DC. We thought about it, and decided that 12 years is half a career - and that's still too long for us. Here is our thoughts. Six years, and that is it. Either be a Congressman/woman or a Senator, and that's it. The House shouldn't be a training ground for the Senate, because they really are 2 different jobs. If you're in the House, your focus is SUPPOSED to be on your district. Washington is different from the Statehouse, where you have 46 Senators in a state, not just two. There are plenty of gigs in South Carolina to be prepared for the Senate later - almost any statewide agency would do.
Yeah, it's a tough line to put in the sand, but we think it's for the best. Will it happen? Hell no. For some strange reason, they felt the need to limit the term of a President, but the same guys won't limit their own power...... Sounds like Congress to us.
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What's Wrong With Urban Meyer? We've Got a Pretty Good Idea...

"I WOULD Give You a Smoochie On the Cheek, Coach, But I'm Wearing My Helmet Right Now..."

OK, enough picking on Urban Meyer's Man Crush on Tim Tebow.... So, everyone is rocked by the Florida football coach's decision to quit - then not to quit - being the Gators Man in Charge. There's a lot of confusion, with Meyer's alleged chest pains after getting stomped by Alabama in the SEC Championship, and other references to health issues. So, what's wrong with Coach Meyer. My guess is that he's got the same thing I've had for years - and millions of others have.

What is it? Restless Leg Syndrome....No, just kidding. From what I've read, Urban Meyer's got a good old fashioned case of Anxiety Disorder. Is it a form of mental illness? Technically, I guess yes. Why else would a guy want to quit a multimillion dollar gig to reload a football program every year? While it's not a laughing matter, it's not as serious as it might sound....

What is Anxiety Disorder? It's when you unnecessarily get wound up over stress to the point where you think you're having a heart attack. I've had it for about 13 years on and off than I know of, although mine was more of a feeling that you can't breathe, rather than chest pains... It's pretty manageable through medication, depending on your doctor. I took Effexor for about 5 years, although the baby Xanax was way more effective - but my doctor worried that the 1/2 pill I took daily would get me addicted. Retard....

Rather than drugs, the smarter way to treat it is behavior modification. Meyer is going to have to learn to calm himself down, and realize it IS all in is head. Mine is also affected by minor physical problems, like my sinuses and allergies, which trigger the 'fight or flight' attack. Most importantly, he needs to change whatever is causing the problem. Of course, there are few gigs that are easier than Head Coach of a football team. Meyer's problem is that he is an overachiever, and he is obsessed with winning it all every year. Dude, you have 2 rings..... No one will hate you if don't win it all this year or next year. Maybe having Tim Tebow - who has his own little obsession with perfection - leave campus will be good. You want stress? Try listening to 30 idiot customers complain while answering 100 phone calls a day, and dealing with 10 technicians and three bosses all at the same time. That is stress....

Nope, Urb's gonna have to figure it out for himself. For me, it was getting away from the job I hated, but didn't realize it. For him, it will either be 1) going 10-3, and being considered one of the top coaches in America, 2) Quit coaching, or 3) Die. My guess is he'll try Door Number One ....... and enjoy life and coaching again.

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So, When Will They Set Up the Tiger Woods Victims Bailout Fund ?


UC-Davis Study Finds The Tiger Woods Affair Costs Stockolders Over $12 Billion .... That's a Lot of 5-Bladed Razors !
Remember all those Tiger Woods jokes? Well, funny boy, who the hell is laughing now? As usual, we like to see famous people hit the skids - but we're the ones who end up paying for it in the end.. According to a pair of Cal-Davis Economics professors, regular Americans lost over $12 Billion is stock value since Tiger Woods admitted his transgression(s).....
How so, you say? Well, they focused on the stock of nine of Woods' sponsors: Accenture, American Express, AT&T, Electronic Arts (EA), Gillette, NIKE, Gatorade, TLC Laser Eye Centers and Golf Digest. Between the nine, their stock value decreased 2.3%, well in excess of normal stock price variations. What else do they all have in common aside from Woods? Right.... As they put it, "While having a celebrity of Tiger Woods' stature has undeniable upside, the downside risk is substantial too." No shit.......
So, before you tell another Tiger joke, make sure you can afford it first.... So far, the cost is about $6 per joke told......
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SC6 Remembers Animal ....


Today, we take a moment to remember Muppets drummer, Animal, who passed away from 'natural causes' at his home outside Los Angeles at the age of 28. Wait, we screwed up.... That was The Rev from Avenged Sevenfold who passed away. Their styles were very similar - very aggressive, almost like lead drummers, lots of rolls, etc.
I did like Avenged Sevenfold a lot, although I can understand if they're not your Cup of Tea. For me, they brought back the 80's style to Rock. Remember guitar solos and whammy bars? Lots of 'em. Anyway, here's a clip of their first hit, 'Bat Country'......
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Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Hottie-lidays !!!




Chickipedia must have a mindreader function on it.... I figured it was time to put some eye candy on the blog, so I went there, and up popped Heather Graham. I just saw 'The Hangover' this weekend, and let me tell you, Rollergirl has still got it going on..... Make sure you wish her a Happy 40th Birthday on January 10th ..... Gotta love a woman not afraid to tell you her age !




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Time to Play 'Real Pic - Fake Pic Again' ....


Obama ....... Salahi ...... Black Eyed Peas. Sounds Like the Main Course at The Phantom Muchentuchen !!!
We apologize in advance for the obscure Zohan reference ..... I got another picture from one of my GOP buddies this weekend. She seems to be a magnet for the possibly PhotoShopped Barack Obama picture circuit. Rather than tyr to decipher whether it is real of a fake, I prefer just throwing it out there, and let you guys make up your own minds - and then tell you you're wrong if you disagree with me.....
You know, I was very proud that I ALMOST forgot the names of the Salahi's, but dammit, it just barely stuck in my long-term memory! Anyway, here is a picture of Tareq and Micahele Salahi with Barack Obama , pre-White House crashing, along with American Idol panelist Randy Jackson and the Black Eyed Peas.... Real or fake? You tell us. While you're at it, tell us if Tareq Salahi looks JUST A BIT like Bobby Harrell, or is it just me ????? And if you're unfamiliar with Phantom Muchentuchen, here you go......
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Football Season's Over ....

Kicker Snafu Costs Dusty Lombardi a Shot at the Championship, Joins the Giants In Going Home ....

Football season is unofficially over. Oh sure, there are still plenty of games to play, but for us here at SC6, the year is over.... Not because the Tigers played yesterday, but because for intent and purposes, our season ended...... It's gonna be a long 8 months.

First off, our NY Giants showed about as much guts as a freshly cleaned catfish in getting thumped hardcore by the Carolina Panthers, 41-9. When you lose like that, you deserve to go home. At the same time, I was in the middle of my Fantasy Football Semi's with my arch-rival, Da Boilermakers. Two things sealed my fate: first the Green Bay Packers decided that it was more fun to run the ball down the Seattle Seahawks throats - and they did, scoring 5 rushing TD's, and letting Aaron Rodgers only toss one TD before pulling him. The other was my fault. I got cute and thought I would add a kicker since Green Bay was scoring so many TD'd, and not FG's. Well, Mason Crosby kicked two FG's, and six PAT's for 13 points, while Shayne Graham, who I just picked up for this week, only scored 5 pts. I lost by 6 points 130-124 .....

Yeah, the NY Jets might make the playoffs after yesterday's gift in Indy (BTW, thanks for benching Dallas Clark too..), but no one really likes the Jets... The black flag is out, and it's wait til next year. When I came back to Fantasy Football, I cockily called my team DustingOffMy Lombardi. This year, it became Dusty Lombardi. Now, having gone 3 seasons without a title, there is only one suitable name for next year ........ Rusty Lombardi ! Maybe Crusty Lombardi.

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Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Terrible Teens? What Lies Ahead For Us ...... Economically Speaking.


Ahhhhh...... Don't you love to see them blossom into their own adulthood? No, we're not talking about the possibility of your now-nine year old boy or girl turning into an neurotic Emo Kid. If you are unfamiliar with the term Emo Kid, may we suggest you Google it ..... and be prepared!
Nope, today we're talking about our favorite subject - The Economy. The one thing that truly drives everything else, although DC may tyr to suggest otherwise. Like we've said before, the Recession of 2008-2009 s unlike any we've seen in our generation. I remember '81 and '92 - those were nothing compared to the mess we just got out of. Much like the Great Depression - which is not what we had - the deeper the hole, the less likely there is to be a quick recovery. We've gone in-depth on numerous occasions to explain and either give hope, or to plan ahead for what may be coming.
If you haven't been listening , or if you just think I'm an idiot with no credentials to back this up, we'll gladly pass you onto a more known source. There's a good AP article, where they discuss the snail's pace that the expected recovery will take. Their plan for a full recovery? About 5-8 years ...... And it may not be an exaggeration. Much like when a backhoe digs a deep enough hole, all that is left is solid earth - and there is nothing diggable to fill in the hole. There are lots of variables, and they discuss most of them briefly. If you have a minute, take a peek at it, and then ....... prepare for a long, slow climb back up. Look at the bright side - at least you'll be too broke for your kids to afford the eyeliner and haircuts.
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See, I USED To Love Christmas ...



This is to offset any possible thoughts that I've always been a Christmas Humbug ..... This was my second Christmas, in December, 1969. Nixon was President, Love was free, and I had my trusty front of a wagon on a stick toy. Damn thing didn't even make any popping noises... Don't ask what happened to Donald, there - I probably ran him over.


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Some Places Are Luckier Than Others ...

This May Be the Luckiest Place in America .....

Today, we take you to the Cards N Such store in Rocky Point, New York. It's about 15 miles from me, and it may be the luckiest place in America. Yes, I've used the term 'lucky' three times already... Why, because it was the place where the winning ticket in this week's New York Mega Millions $162 Million Jackpot was sold. Now, for the more amazing part - this isn't the first time they've sold a winning Lotto ticket!

Nope, back in 1995, they sold a $7 Million winner in the old Lotto jackpot. For those of you wondering, the odds of winning are 175,000,000 to 1. Sure, they sell a lot of tickets, but the odds of selling 2 winners has to be in the trillions.... Of course, past performance is no guarantee of future returns, but at least they have a track record. We'll check back in 2023 .....

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Even Hawaii Is Suffering From Obama Fatigue..

With Scenery Like This, You Don't Need Help From the President ......... Or Do You ?

With most of the plundering done in Washington for the week. The Obama's went back to their home in Chicago, to enjoy the cold, wind and crappy Chicago Bears football.... Who are we kidding? They took Option B, as Vincent LaGuardia Gambini would say, and took off to the warmth and love of Hawaii - Mahalo, Obama !! Who could blame them? Chicago sucks, and the weather is worse. I wouldn't expect The Obama's to ever step foot in Illinois again - juts like the Clintons did to Arkansas. Now George Bush? You couldn't get him away from the ranch in Crawford.....

Anyway, the real story is how Hawaii was really hoping for a push from Barack Obama's election to juice up their sagging economy. Until they find a useful purpose for lava, all Hawaii has for it's economy is Pineapples, Macadamia Nuts and Tourism - and you thought South Carolina's economy was a one trick pony... Teh general rule of thumb is that when money gets tight, you cut out the 6,000 mile trip to Paradise, and stay home. Obviously, that has taken quite a hit to the Aloha State's bottom line....

Local tourism experts hoped that the cachet of being the birthplace to Obama would jack up the tourism bucks, but the truth is it hasn't.... Why? Because Barack Obama didn't live in a log cabin, chop down a cherry tree, or attend a prestigious boarding school. Nope, he lived in an apartment complex and went to an ordinary elementary school - just like you and me. Makes the 6000 mile trek to visit your idol's childhood home a bit less alluring, doesn't it?

Still, they are hoping for better things, and eventually they will come. After all, it IS Hawaii ... The folks in Chicago are hoping for the same thing, but don't expect much. Obama isn't all jazzed to go back, and even Oprah's skipping town. At least they still have Wrigley Field - HERE BATTER, HERE BATTER, SUH-WING BATTER !!!!!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQrqZG8VQGY&feature=related

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Cartoon of the Week ....

This Week, It's Christmas and Health Care .....

There were a few to pick from this week, although I had to go to another site again this week (TIME, you're getting lame..). Many of them picked on the GOP for 'obstructing progress', but sometimes no is the better move.

We thought this cartoon best resembled what we think will happen. Here is our advice to the Democrats. If you think you can beat the Insurance and Drug companies at their own game, think again. You can't win. They have attorneys, accountants and specialists on staff, whose only job is to find and manipulate loopholes. You have college sophomores on staff whose only experience is that they once went to the Campus Health Office for some Advil.... You are shooting bear with a popgun. With every move you make, you only enable Big Insurance and Big Drugs to kick your ass - and the taxpayers asses - even more..........

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Saturday, December 26, 2009

Not Everybody Loves Christmas ....


Before you get on my shit, let me clarify. I like Christmas Season... I like the fact that at least for a few weeks, everyone tries to be nicer to each other. I like Winter, when it gets colder, and it feels more like Christmas. And I like that some people still actually try to remember why we celebrate Christmas. As for Christmas Day, you can keep it....
For most people, it's an annual celebration that you spend with friends and family. For me, it's an annual reminder of everything don't have, and why life sucks in general. The same goes for Thanksgiving, New Years Eve, Easter, and most other events. Birthdays are cool still - it's informal, and it's specifically for that one person. The rest blow.....
I'll tell you what I've been doing for the past 24 hours - sleeping. Yeah, I got up to hit the head, and I did have to run to the bank for a few minutes. Aside from that, I've been in a blah-induced ZZZ-fest. Have been for years. There's no one to buy stuff for - not that I could anyway. And it's pretty much a reminder of how life has passed me by. Sitting there with 20 couples and their kids,talking about the usual stuff gets kinda dull. I used to think that Christmas with Ben sucked, but at least it was someone else who was in the same boat. Now I understand why my sister spends all of her holidays with her gay buddies - at least they make her happy.....
Nope, right now, I'm in the midst of a decade-long Christmas famine... It'll end some day.
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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas ...... SC6 Style !!

A Billy Idol Christmas Song ??

As the last few hours wind down before Christmas is finally here, we wanted to send all of you our best wishes for a Happy Holiday. It was bad enough that we missed Festivus this year !! Anyway, a special selection from the SC6 Christams Jukebox ....... Billy Idol's 'Yelling at the Christmas Tree' ... Enjoy, and Merry Christmas !!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLdJ5xWZSbo&feature=related

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Why Should We Be Outraged?

Surprised That Reid Sweetened the Deal for Votes? Silly Rabbit ...

For those of you seething with rage over the fact that Harry Reid actually made sweetheart deals for those Senators who held out voting for his Health Care Bill, we have this message for you, and please don't take this the wrong way..... You're an idiot.

Sorry to be so hard on you, but this is one of thsoe weeks where even dreamers like Barack Obama realize that no matter how idealogical you may be, or how good your intentions are, there will always be a Senator or Congressman in DC with his/her hand out, telling you "FU .... Pay Me." Folks, this is how it is done, and how it's ALWAYS been done. It's just like in the Green Mile ...... 'He used their love to kill them. It's like this, everyday, all over the world.' John Coffey wasn't too bright, but he had brilliant political acumen.....

Yes, for every good idea that someone has, there will someone who will twist it, and distort the whole idea until it no longer resembles what it once was. It can be described in one term - What's In it For Me? At every level, it happens. It's the favorite term of two Florence City Councilmen who we'll not mention - let's just call them Ed and Billy D. for arguments sake.... Then, we have a State Legislature and Senate that overspent by double digits for a decade - then have the nerve to call themselves 'Conservative'..... Finally, it continues to Washington, where everyone has a line of backers that need to get paid off, not to mention the candidate themselves....

Yes, all the evils of the world have been brought upon us by the simple term, Getting Our Share.... The 'need' to bring home the bacon - or The Other White Meat - has left us with governments that put us in an endless spiral of deficits - mostly brought on by frivolous spending. So a Senator from Nebraska got $100 million in breaks for his state, and another in Florida got $25 billion for his.... This is how it is - and how it has been.... Term Limits, anyone?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWNyp3AMBN4

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When Your Head Is Crammed Up Nancy Pelosi's Pooper, Things Like This Are Bound to Happen ....

Come Visit the 1859 Railway Museum of Jamestown, California - Smack In the Middle of Jim Clyburn's District .... Wait a Second.

Just last week, I thought to myself that I hadn't picked on Jim Clyburn in a while. I thought about fabricating a story (maybe a Dora the Explorer spoof, where Jim is Swiper the Fox?), but I said to myself, 'Just wait - he'll do SOMETHING stupid'. I didn't have to wait long........

If you need any more proof that Congressmen and their staffers are idiots, check out the $100,000 mistake that was discovered this week. It seems that money that was supposed to go to the library in Jamestown, South Carolina, didn't quite make it. You see, due to 'technical errors', the money was accidentally allocated to Jamestown, California - just east of - YOU GUESSED IT! - San Francisco.... When the better part of your job includes being Nancy Pelosi's lackey, you might accidentally think that your home district is California, and not South Carolina.....

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas ...





Yeah, the foot and half of snow definitely makes it seem more like Christmas this year, but there are other signs: the mile long traffic jam going into and coming out of the malls around the corner from my house. And this sign as well ...... overdone Christmas lights !!! Yes, every neighborhood has that ONE GUY, who goes apeshit with the lights and inflatable Santa and Frosty. The difference here is that that extra electricity will add about $2000 onto his power bill !!! Hey, it's for the kids..... That saying always costs money.



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A Comeback For the Ages ...

The Malocchio - And Ahmad Bradshaw - Lead Dusty Lombardi To The Greatest Comeback In Fantasy Football History ???

Years from now, people will remember where they were, and what they were doing on this weekend. While little things like the War on Terror and Health Care Reform occupy our minds for a moment, big things took place this weekend....

Like what? Well, my fantasy football team overcame an unbelieveable deficit to beat Vader's Raiders 177.08-176.62 !! Yes, I won by the difference of 4 yards or one completion. All of this after I trailed by 75 points at about 500PM Sunday. I'm not sure if they keep records on this, but I'm sure it's the largest comeback I ever saw.....

So, how did I do it? Well, the obvious was a maonster game by Aaron Rodgers, capped by a 2 TD effort from Ahmad Bradshaw. The main contributor in my mind was the well-rested Malocchio that hadn't been used since Bobby regularly wore it out during the Steelers Super Bowl run last year. There is no substitute for the Evil Eye, and it was particularly satisfying to beat Vader's Raiders, since that is the nickname of my boss who canned me last week.... This week, it's another showdown against my arch friendemy, Dave , and his team Da Boilermakers. I'm 2-0 against them this year, but Dave always brings it, and it ain't easy beating a team 3 times - unless you're Jim Clyburn running against Gary McLeod.... Sorry, couldn't help it.

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Sunday, December 20, 2009

This Is What 17 Inches of Snow Looks Like..


It has finally stopped snowing. The sun has popped out a bit, and now it's time to start shoveling out.. Speaking of which, there hasn't been a plow to come through here yet. See, even $14,000 a year in property taxes won't get your street plowed - and you expect to be able to pay for school with that too ??? Overall, it wasn't that bad, and I did get to drive in some of it last night, although Carol wouldn't let me fishtail her SUV. :(
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This Is Top Notch Spinning, People....

How to Not Get an Endorsement, But Look Like You Did ....

It's not too often that we get out of the Pee Dee Swamp to talk about SC Congressional races, but this was too good to pass up. First, a disclaimer: We are in no way supporting or unsupporting any Republican candidate for any Congressional district in South Carolina. We have no dogs in any fight there or anywhere in SC.

Now, onto business.... The 4th Congressional race is turning almost into a comedy. An unpopular incumbent (Bob Inglis - Nice Guy, Wrong District), and along with him, a cast of opponents so many in number, you need a scorecard to keep track - and all of them trying to 'Out-Right' the other one. Only in the 4th ..... Anyway, this week, Inglis gave an interview, and apparently seeing the writing on the wall, told the media who he would prefer to lose to - if he had to lose. IF ???? Inglis' choice was Jim Lee, who I don't know, so I can't comment. I totally let this news pass, mainly because it had nothing to do with me, until I got an email last night, from one of the other candidates....

Again, like Jim Lee, I don't know Christina Jeffrey, aside from the fact that she's running in the 4th as well, and she's one of my Facebook friends. There is no doubt that Jeffrey is using SC Hotline for her campaign, and that's fine, but it pretty obvious: SCH has put out three articles either putting out her campaign's releases, or to criticize an opponent - which hasn't been confirmed. Also, Jeffrey has an ad on SCHotline's page, which does not come free... All of that is good and well, you just have to take that all into consideration when you hear from that source...

So, lat night I get one of Jeffrey's Press Releases through SCHotline, calling for Inglis to drop out of the race. But, the funny part is how she tried to spin Inglis' endorsement for Lee as a endorsement for her. Here are the exact quotes from Jeffrey's staff: 'Responding to a letter sent to supporters in which he endorsed an opponent for his seat, and said, "If I had to lose this race, I'd rather lose to....... a committed Believer who's in this race for all the right reasons." Jeffrey stated, "But I have to be heartened to hear my opponent himself acknowledge that the people of our district would be extremely well-served by a committed believer, that is, someone like me." WOW !!!!!

This is a very inventive piece of spinning if I ever saw one.... You see, the .........'s are where the words "Jim Lee" were. She simply left them out, and inserted herself where Lee used to be. Secondly, if you can get an endorsement outright, go ahead and say 'Well, they didn't endorse me, but they did endorse someone LIKE me'..... This sets a precedent for every 3rd or 4th place candidate that just can't make it out of the pack from now on..... Hey, even if candidate just kinda LOOKS like you, that could be justifiable grounds for co-oping an endorsement.....

Of course, the contrarian in me is wondering why Jeffrey even wants to tie herself in with Inglis by this endorsement-in-theory. If you don't like him so much, why not use it to attack Lee as a RINO, like you guys Upstate love to do so much, and have one less opponent to worry about, right? Hey, thats just my two cents. But, I will give you guys credit for attempting a wrinkle I never would have thought of - or tried...

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Cartoon of the Week ..


In any political satire - be it cartoons or blogging - you need good material. Some weeks are better than others, and this week kinda sucked.... Not much to choose from, and way too many Tiger Woods commentary still. Guys the horse is dead, quit beating it....
About the only topical idea we could find was the Health Care Reform Bill, as the last of the 60 Senators get bribed on it's way to passage. You know you have good legislation when you need to give a couple hundred million away to get their vote. Could that be what is what's wrong with Washington? Joe Lieberman is still holding out ( I still can say his name without thinking of Gregory Peck in 'The Boys From Brazil' ...... LIEBERMAN !!!!!!!!! Harry Reid must be yelling the same thing.
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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Hey Y'all, What's the White Stuff ??




Just a short weather update from up here..... The first couple small bands have come through - just enough to cover the ground a little, but nothing compared to what is supposed to come. It's 4:15 right now, and the next 12 hours are when the big stuff is expected. In the meantime, here is my first taste of 2009 Yankee Snow..





Tastes Like Smog ....
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SC6 Braces For It's First Real Snow In 13 Years..


The last time I saw bad snow was the day I left New York for South Carolina - December 31, 1996. My 200 SX SER and the trailer hooked to it literally slid out of Long Island. Since then , it's snowed three times - and each time it was gone by lunchtime...
I had been hoping for some of the white stuff - but not like this. We've got 11-19 inches predicted, with it being worse the further east you go, and i'm pretty far out east. The wet stuff you guys had is the same front that is gonna dump on me this afternoon, and all night tonight. Here's how it was explained to us....
"A wet pattern coming from the Gulf of Mexico. Down from Canada, a cold front with subfreezing temperatures meetint it right over the Northeast and Atlantic. It would a catastrophic event of epic proportions. It would be ....... The Perfect Storm !!!! OK, I overdramatized.
Technically, it is a blizzard, so I finally bought gloves and a ski cap to keep my noggin from freezing. I did get a video clip of the storm as we speak - you only have to watch the first minute. I'll have pics tomorrow - if the power holds out!
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Friday, December 18, 2009

Patience, South Carolina - Recovery Is Coming

These Signs Aren't Up All Over Yet, But More Will Be Soon ...

Like we always say, we are here to temper your unjustified enthusiasm, and to pick you up when you're ready to jump off the Ravenel Bridge .... As the Yin to your Economic Yang (?), we just got the news about the Palmetto State's unemployment rate once again rising in November to an all-time high of 12.3% ... It sounds really, really bad, but there are plenty of nuggets from here and elsewhere to give you rays of hope that the worst is over. I know I've said this before, but this is a long, dragging recession - even longer than we thought. Here's the hope:

1. The Good Side of 12.3%

No, I haven't lost my mind. Even when the rate goes up, there can be signs that better times are ahead. The main number? The number of employed people actually went up. The reason for the rate increase was that the number of job seekers went up by slightly more. That means that people who had given up on looking for work are getting back into the mix - and some are being hired...

2. It's Frigging November

Ahhh, the big November hiring blitz... Doesn't sound familiar, does it? It shouldn't. Companies, even many in retail, don't hire people until December, but the big hiring in manufacturing and other big businesses starts in January. Inventories are way down, and they have to restock at some point. They re-evaluate everything on January 1, then decide if they can hire - and many will hire a few.

3. Leading Economic Indicators

I'm surprised the spin doctors in the Obama Administration haven't used this stat more, but the leading economic indicators for consumers have actually risen for EIGHT STRAIGHT MONTHS. Granted, when you're in the basement, you can only go up, but maybe they've skipped it because it might show that the Stimulus, which started well after that, has had little effect on the economy - and why another one is wreckless. Check Mate...


4. You Are South Carolina

Don't take this the wrong way, but DC does not care about you. Your paranoia is somewhat justified. They view SC as something in the way when they're going to Florida. Barack Obama has only seen it from a plane as President. All that aside, there is an economic principle to describe this: Economic Recovery is much like inventory use: LIFO-last in, first out, FIFO-first in, first out, LILO-last in, last out, and FILO-first in, last out. South Carolina is a FILO..... The economy is smaller, more apt to downturns, and slower getting out. We are always the last to see good times, and the first to see bad times. The good news is that better times are starting to emerge elsewhere.... Here in Long Island, the unemployemnt rate just dropped .4%, from 7.2 to 6.8% - and we still manage to complain. Statewide , it is also dropping, from 9.0 to 8.6%. The Big Boys always recover first, then the little brothers (or Red-Headed Stepkids) get the last of the table scraps....




Now, the caveat: If any of you think that we are heading for a slam-dunk 2010, don't count on it. This recovery will be slow and not very robust. The numbers will not be great. South Carolina will be damned lucky to be out of double-digit unemployment by year's end. In fact, I have a buddy who is pretty smart - and rarely wrong - and he sees 10% out of work nationally as the norm from now on. Businesses are doing more with less - but they will need some more..... Chin Up!



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Florence Breaks Ground on New Animal Shelter



Flotown continues to close the gap between themselves and the larger cities that make fun of the Pee Dee all the time ..... Hey, it's not a new home for the Panthers, but they did manage to break ground on the Jayne Boswell No Kill Animal Shelter yesterday... It's a 6500 square foot facility with separate dog-cat areas, a detention area for sick pets, and an air-flow system to keep the place properly ventilated.





Perhaps the best part about the shelter is the relatively low cost - it only cost the City of Florence $250,000, the rest came via a grant from the Drs. Bruce & Lee Foundation (who else?), and from over $300,000 raised privately from the local Humane Society's 'Bone-E-Fit' annual fundraisers... Another separate donation will fund spay and neuter programs as well. It's a nice example of being able to keep the tax burden down through public-private partnershipping. Like we say, if it's a worthy program, there will be plenty of people willing to pay for it privately to help....





The new facility will be on McCurdy Rd., and completion is expected next year. Until then, you can go to the current Florence Area Humane Society location on Stockade Drive from 12-5 every day except Weds. and Sundays, to pick out a dog or cat that needs a home..... To help encourage you, we give you this.....





Thursday, December 17, 2009

Happy Birthday to SC6 ...

Our Blog Hits The Big 0-Four !!!!!

Like we said earlier today, this is an anniversary week, and today is the least important of all the events we marked. Yes, it was four years ago today that SC6 began. She certainly has grown up - she's all potty trained, eating solid food, and now she'll be attending preschool soon ...... let's hope she'll finally learn something. By next year we're hoping she'll learn how to read.

Thanks for sticking around with us through thick and thin, employed and unemployed, running for office and not, and all the other in betweens of the close to 2500 blog posts we've written - who knew?

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Free Barbecue !!!!!


Florence County GOP Christmas Party Is Tomorrow !!!!
In case your dance card isn't full just yet, we have another party for you to attend. Our buds at the Florence GOP will be celebrating Christmas tomorrow night, December 18th, from 600-830PM at the Old Glory Cabin in Evergreen. Just go down Pamplico Hwy (aka Hwy 51 for those of you dependent on Tom-Tom's), and pass thru the Evergreen stoplight. Yes, there is only one light in Evergreen, and we like it that way.....
About an 1/8 mile past the light, you will see a church, and right after the church is Summer Hill Farm. Go down the path at Summer Hill, and right after it is a gravel path to the left, and it goes straight to Old Glory. Any questions? Call County Chair Joe Griffin at 843-992-1678. No, I will not be able to make it, but that's usually a good thing - I tend to get real huggy during these things, and the ladies need a break! I'll miss you guys.....
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Education Funding: No, It's Never Enough

NY Gov. Paterson Cuts School Payments by $500 Million, Everyone Sues



Some of you may think that the title of this post is a good thing, but there are limitations. The more we see from NY Governor David Paterson, the more we like him - not enough to vote for him, but he's got brass ones for sure... As Lester Burnham was told, 'You obviously have no desire to save yourself.'




For those who don't know, the State of New York is in a financial mess.... No, it's not in the $44 Billion hole that California was in, but $5 billion is still pretty bad. And you guys in SC thought that $700 million sucked.... The state will be out of cash by late December, so Paterson did what he felt was needed - cutting the budget, even from Education. You'd think that in a state where about $20,000 a chid spending is not uncommon, they'd take the hit, and move on - but think again.........





Administrators, kids and parents are all screaming bloody murder over the 10% cut in payments and property tax reimbursements to schools. Before you think that's a ton of cash, put it in perspective: it's not a total 10% cut, it's just cuts to two select funding mechanisms, and the state is talking mostly about delaying payments, not eliminating them. Also, here is an example of the actual minuteness of the cut: Middle Country District here has 11,000 kids, and a budget of $200 million. That's ONE AVERAGE district, which gets $19,000 per student, but can't seem to trim the fat? C'mon... BTW, in today's paper, that district is being questioned about excessive reserves, while another school puts a bond referendum to add a 42,000 sq ft artificial turf field on campus....




Does Astroturf make for a smarter kid? Shit no... Better teachers do, and the New York system pays and insures them all to the hilt. This is an example of education funding run amok... Does South Carolina spend enough on its kids' education? Probably not, but until they can figure out how to put it towards EDUCATING, and not into palatial campuses or adminstrative costs, I'd be a bit more inquisitive about where the money is going, rather than issuing a blank check, with "It's For The Kids" on the memo notes.....



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Here's Our Tip On the Next Crime Wave Coming to South Carolina ...


You See Rims and Tires ...... Thieves See Dollar Signs
As a service to our brothers and sisters in the Palmetto State, we try to keep y'all up on the latest trends here in the Big Apple... Rather than blog about the latest in Music or Fashion - God knows we lack any style here - we prefer to keep you up on the newest scam that will eventually hit you guys.....
Here it is: Stealing rims and tires on Nissan's ! No, we shit you not..... Hundreds and hundreds of kicks on Nissan Altimas and Maximas are being jacked. Why? First the obvious - rims and tires are expensive - very expensive. A set of Michelins and rims on a Maxima retails for about $5000, so that reason is easy to see. But why Nissan's in particular? Because Nissan is one of the few carmakers that do not put wheel locks on as standard equipment, so an efficient thief can swipe your rims lickety split....
It happens all the time up here, but eventually, they will run out of dummies to steal rims from - and then they go Down South, where stealing a rim is unheard of, at least for now. So, how do you keep your rims on your Hoopdie from getting robbed, asde from having Kenney Boone live at your house? I hate to say, but there is no foolproof method. Wheel locks help, but just like putting the ADT sign on your doorstep, the sign doesn't protect you. A good thief will somehow have a lock key for it. Last week, they stole 12 sets at our dealership - and left the lock keys on the hood to mock us.....
Nope, wheel locks aren't foolproof, but for $30, they do help keep the amateurs away. Keep your car in the garage whenever possible, and don't leave it unattended overnight - and maybe a Smith & Wesson registration card on the side glass might be of assistance ....
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How the NFL Can Avoid Tragedies Like Today's


Our primary goal here isn't to pick on or attack people - though it might not look like it sometimes. No, for every problem, our goal is to find a solution... Yesterday, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry inexplicably jumped into the bed of a pickup truck his fiancee' was driving, and he fell out. He suffered massive injuries, and he passed away this morning. He was 26....
Yes, Henry did have have his problems in the past, but from most accounts he was straightening them all out. However, it's hard for a person to not have flashes of that old personality come out, and that's what appears to be the case, but thats just a guess. Here is the real issue - this is the second instance of a player dying in midseason in two years. Last year, Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor was shot at his home in Miami. The common thread between the two? They were both on Injured Reserve, meaning they were both out for the season, and sent home.....
Now, we are all for personal responsibility, but this is the NFL we're talking about, where conduct codes, drug tests and Wunderlik scores are common. It seems a bit irresponsible for the teams to send a guy packing for the remainder of the year unsupervised. If they were at the complex, still attending meetings, training and being part of the team, Taylor and Henry would both be alive, right?
Yes, when the season is over, the teams should have no control over what the players do. No, I don't expect this to eliminate tragedies like this during the offseason - this is a business where violence and hitting are normal, the guys are aggressive. But, it doesn't seem too restrictive for a team to keep a guy in camp til season's end, rather than let things like this happen - again and again......
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First in Flight ... And Ohio and NC Still Fight !


Another day, another anniversary. This one is a bit happier.... Today is the 106th anniversary of the Wright Brothers first successful flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Now we're making 787 Jetliners made from carbon fiber that carry 300 people .......





The funniest part of the Wright Brothers flight is how North Carolina and Ohio fight for credit on the flight. The Tar Heel State has 'First in Flight' on their license plates, and The Buckeye State went with 'Birthplace of Aviation' on theirs for a while, since the Wright Brothers were from there. We're going with NC on this one, because it ain't where you're from , it's where you do it - and that plane would still be on the ground if they didn't have that Outer Banks wind to blow it! Case Closed ....



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SC6 Remembers The Battle of the Bulge...... And My Uncle Pete.




It's a big week for anniversaries of famous events this week. This first is a gallant but sad event - at least in my house. Yesterday was the 65th anniversary of the start of the Battle of the Bulge, the last great fight in the European Theatre of World War II. I never knew a lot about it as a kid growing up. My parents never discussed it, mostly because it was the battle that my Uncle Pete, who was 18 months younger than my Dad, died in. All I knew was that it was long and cold and a lot of young men died - about 19,000 in three months. It makes Iraq and Afghanistan seem almost safe.....





The Battle of the Bulge began on December 16, 1944 as a last ditch effort by Adolf Hitler to split the American and British forces in the Ardennes Forest, hence the name The Bulge. Supplies were tight for the Americans , due to the speedy advance across France following D-Day, and the attack was furious, but they held it off, and slowly, the pushed the Germans across the Ardennes and onto victory.






I have no idea under what circumstances my Uncle Pete passed away, just barely 19 years old. All I know is he passed away on February 7th, 1945, he was a PFC in the 417th Regiment, 76th Division of Patton's Third Army, and he is buried at the Luxembourg American Cemetary in Luxembourg. A local family comes by to make sure his grave is clean and proper, and we send them some money in appreciation yearly...






A lot of families have that one empty chair that reminds most of us of the costs andsacrifices of war. My Uncle Pete is that empty chair - a memory of a person I never met, but my family was actually lucky. All six of my dad's brothers and him served in World War II, and the rest came home. I ran into a webpage from a man name Willard Bickel, who served in the Army during the Battle, and he is from Pottstown, PA , just a little down the road from my family. Take a minute or ten to read his experience - it has pictures and maps and all sorts of things to give you an idea of what it was like.. Here's the link. Thanks Uncle Pete, and thanks to all who serve....
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Pardon Me, As I Hex My Chances In Fantasy Football By Blogging About It...

Can Dusty Lombardi Ride Aaron Rodgers to Another Title ?

Everytime I blog about my fantasy football team, I lose that week. Well, that may happen anyway. But even if it does, we've had another good season. Dusty Lombardi (which was called DustingOffMyLombardi after coming out of retirement following a championship) finished in second place during the regular season, despite a last game throttling to finish at 9-5. Not bad, considering that we had NO running backs (thank you, Brian Westbrook and Marshawn Lynch), and Randy Moss and Anquan Boldin haven't been models of consistency this year....

Thanks to great numbers by Aaron Rodgers all year, and a few key later season pickups, we finished strong, and we'll be taking on Number 7 Vaders Raiders, who are 20 point favorites on us - don't ask, it's all matchups... What has me worried is that Vader has Peyton Manning, which negates my TE, Dallas Clark, because all the passes will come from Manning. Maybe he'll break a leg , or come out early. If not, we are fully armed for battle, with a Mallochio Hex that hasn't been used since last season. Beware the Evil Eye, Vader ...........

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Sign Number Five That the World Is Coming to an End: ABBA Is In the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ...



This is by far the clearest sign that we are nearing the End of Days - even more than when we actually agreed with Crackpot Nubian Princess Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney on something... No, this is far, far worse.... Yesterday, it was announced that ABBA has been elected to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. I'll give you a minute, while it sinks in................





Yes, Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anni-Frid (hence, ABBA) will be alongside all the legends that made Rock Music great. I guess sometimes you have to invite your kooky cousin to your Christmas Party once in a while too... ABBA made it, along with Genesis (cool), The Hollies (ok), The Stooges (I guess), and Jimmy Cliff (fine). Meanwhile, KISS and Rush still are on the outside looking in..... Even in the genre, they're not the best choice. Donna Summer, the undisputed Queen of Disco, is not in the Hall - but they didn't use her music in a movie about a girl trying to figure out which of three guys her slut Mom screwed is her Daddy.....





Seriously, which is better? This:


www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s




or this?



www.youtube.com/watch?v=djVGhqvl_8A




No contest in our book..... it's that damned Canadian prejudice again. No matter anyway - it'll all be over soon enough.


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Is This What Tiger's Sponsors Mean By 'Re-Evaluating Their Relationship' ??






NIKE and Tag Heuer Adjust Their Slogans to Fit Tiger's Tarnished Image ....









Those ad executives sure are crafty people ..... Give them lemons, and they make batches and batches of lemonade! Even though they have their work cut out for them with Tiger Woods recent problems, they're up to the task.....





NIKE, which has made more money than God and H. Ross Perot combined thanks to Tiger, revealed that they will be modifying their famous 'Just Do It' slogan to 'Just Do All of Them', and the NIKE 'Swoosh' will be changed to a Stripper Pole..... This comes alongside the news that high-end watchmaker Tag Heuer will be changing it's name to 'Tag Her-er' in Tiger's honor. 'It's not that big a deal - we're just replacing one letter. No one knew how to pronounce the name anyway', said a Tag Heuer - we mean Tag Her-er representative , who asked to be anonymous. We understand totally.........





BTW, what do Tiger Woods and a Sea Lion have in common? They're both used to being clubbed by Norwegians..... Thanks to whomever I stole that from.



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Indian Tribe Finally Gets Recognized .... And Now It's Time to Cash In !

Give 'Em an Inch, And They Take a Casino and 3600 Acres .....

If you ever wanted to know just why it seems so hard for Indian tribes to get federally recognized in the US, here is a good example why.... This week, the Office of Indian Affairs finally gave the Shinnecock Nation of Long Island it's official stamp of approval, after a 31 year battle. The Shinnecocks are pretty much about as legitimate as they come on the East Coast. They have a 600 acre reservation that's been in their control for hundreds of years, they're organized, and they met all the criteria - which is pretty stringent - that was required. Congrats to them.......

Now, for the hard part. You'll never guess what the first thing they want to do is. C'mon, ................ you know............. it's.................. a Casino ! Yep, the Shinnecocks want to bring the first legal casino to New York. While it would be nice for Long Islanders to not have to drive to Connecticut or Atlantic City to gamble, there is a lot more to this - and a lot more that the Shinnecocks want. You see, the Shinnecock Nation isn't just in a pine barren in Suffolk County - it's smack in the entrance way to The Hamptons. So, there are a lot of rich and powerful people who don't want a casino near their Summer getaways. Talks are already underway to move the casino to Belmont Park or Aqueduct Raceways - about 100 west of the reservation in New York City. It should be interesting....

The real kicker in getting recognized isn't the casino - that's small potatoes. What the the Shinnecocks are shooting for is - our favorite word - Reparations. You see, the reservation used to be 3600 additional acres from a treaty made with England back in 1703, and they want it back. The last time I checked, England didn't own Long Island, but that isn't stopping the tribe. You see, back in 1859, they settled with the US Government to take back the land, so rail lines could be built to access the East End. The tribe says the document is forged, but no one hwo ws there is around now, so who knows... The area is a 1/4 mile sliver between Shinnecock Bay and Peconic Bay, and there's no way around it - and the land is prime Real Estate. I don't know for sure, but $1 million an acre isn't out of the question. Times that by 3600, and you have $3.6 BILLION up for grabs.....

Adding to the problem is the fact that the land is developed, with private property owners, the Southhampton campus of Long Island University, and Shinnecock Hills Golf Course, where the US Open is regularly played.... Good Luck on settling that one, fellas. It's amazing to me that we entertain the thought of suing for something that was done, not to you or your parents, which I can understand, but for something that was done to people you can barely trace ancestry to 150 years earlier.... This is America -we can sue for anything....

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Jim DeMint May Disagree With TIME Magazine ..


According to MSN.com, TIME Magazine just named Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke as it's Man of the Year..... What's Jim got against a Dillon Boy, anyway ???
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

SC Blogger Sues Chinese Restaurant Over Incorrect Fortune Cookie Message ...

Hey, There's No Disclaimer, So ..........

Most people view the message inside of a fortune cookie to be pure entertainment, but a blogger in South Carolina is challenging the legal interpretation of the little piece of paper in court. Mike Reino, who's SC6 political blog is read by tens of readers every day, is suing the Wan Lo Chinese Restaurant in Bay Shore, New York for not following through on a 'promise' he found inside of a fortune cookie he got when he was nine years old.......

Reino, 41, is suing Wan Lo for breach of contract, because a message inside the cookie told him 'You will do great things in the future' - and he says that apparently was false. "It's 32 years later, and I haven't done Jack S**t, so obviously that cookie was a lie. Wan Lo is perpetrating a lie by telling their customers tha their futures are bright, when the opposite is probably true." When asked if a run for Congress and County Council might be considered a great accomplishment, Reino replied, "I didn't WIN, did I? Hell, anybody can run for office.." Lastly, when countered about the success of his blog, he tersely quipped, "Have you ever read SC6? It's dog poop! No one admits they read it - look at all the anonymous comments. C'mon - Cartoon of the Week and Fuzzy Thoughts ??!! What the hell am I talking about there??"





Noted Law Professor Alan Dershowitz was asked about the applicability of Reino's suit, and he responded, "Well, the lack of any type of disclaimer could possibly allow it to be regarded as a promissory note or guarantee. I'd suggest some type of 'For Entertainment Purposes Only' message on it to avoid this problem - but it mostly sounds like a guy who's pissed off because his life sucks....." Local law authority, P-Luv, was unavailable for comment at press time, due to a schedule conflict with a bottle of Ibiza Purple Haze...........





Of course, the real obstacle to Reino's lawsuit is that Wan Lo went out of business in 1982, yet he remains undaunted.... 'They're around somewhere, and I'll find 'em.... I don't care if I have to sue the dishwasher - I'll get mine eventually."



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Don't Talk About a Repeat Yet .....




Godzilla and Kate Walk Out on the Yankees .... 2010 Doesn't Look So Super Right Now.
Like most winters in baseball, the good cheer of a World Series championship is beginning to lose it's luster. That's because every December, the Winter Meetings and free agent signings go into high gear - and we find out who looks like the contenders for 2010. Let's just say that next year looks like a tougher one for our Yankees ......
At first, it looked good: they acquired Curtis Granderson from Detroit. Then, in just a day or two, the wheels have started to come off. Not that it's their fault, but the other teams have made some big moves. First, Hideki Matsui signed with the Angels for one year (?), and at the same time, it was reported that Kate Hudson - who managed to screw (?) Alex Rodriguez's head on straight long enough for him to be productive in the postseason - broke up with the slugger...
But wait, Yankee haters, there's more............ The Red Sox signed John Lackey, and the Phillies traded for Roy Halladay. Add the fact that New York has talked about - EGADS !!!! - cutting payroll, and a decent but non-championship season is a real possibility. Feel better now?
No, it's not always fair for a team to win as much as the Yankees do, but this is America. So, the natural urge after you win one is to see if you can do it again. They can, but I wouldn't consider them the favorites now....
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Monday, December 14, 2009

The Wonder Pets Save the GOP ...

Can Three Furry Animals Get the Republican Party Back on Track ?? Sure .... What's Gonna Work ? TEAMWORK !!!!






I've had this post in my noodle since I OD'd on Nick Jr. two months ago. In case you'e never seen the Wonder Pets, may we suggest watching this short clip of Linny, Tuck and Ming-Ming before reading this post - at least so you can get an idea of the music. All singing wil be italicized to help, ad any resemblance to Stephanie Rawlinson, Dana Shriver and myself is totally intentional......Here's the clip:




www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_a7lxnSeqk&NR=1
and, here we go.....





Linny: The phone! The phone is ringing!

Ming-Ming: The phone! We'll be right there!

Tuck: The phone ! the phone is ringing....

Linny: There's a party in trouble.

Ming-Ming: There's a party in trouble...

Tuck: There's a party in trouble somewhere (Grunts)...






Tuck: Who is it, Linny?

Linny: It sounds like a baby elephant.... Wait, it's the Republican Party.

Ming-Ming: What's a Wepubwican?

Linny: It's a political party, Ming-Ming.

Ming-Ming: Oh, I wuv parties! Are dey having cake??

Linny: Not that kind of party, Ming-Ming.. They're asking us for $4700 for the NRCC again!!!Tuck: Didn't they already call us three times this week, asking for money?

Linny: That's right , Tuck.

Ming-Ming: But I'm a poor, wittle duckwing - I don't even have a job!





Tuck: Didn't the Republican Party used to run the White House and Congress a few years ago?Linny: That's right, Tuck - but they've gotten out of touch with what they used to be....

Ming-Ming: What's Congwess, Winny?

Linny: Let's focus on learnign to talk first, Ming-Ming. We'll get to politics later. We've got work to do......To the Flyboat, Wonder Pets, we're going to Washington DC !!!!!





Tuck: There's a party - that's lost it's way....

Ming-Ming: This is Sewious !!!

Linny: We've got to help them...

ALL: Let's save the Party - Let's save the Party!!





Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets - we're on our way! To help the GOP and save the day........ We're not too big, and we're not too tough, but when we work together, we've got the right stuff !!!! YAY !!!!!




Tuck: Ooooh, what's that building, Linny?

Linny: That's Capitol Hill, Tuck. That's where all the Congressmen and Senators pass bills.

Ming-Ming: I bet dose are some pwetty smart people, wight Linny?

Linny: No, Ming-Ming, they're all stupid and corrupt - or at least most of them.....Let's go the Republican Headquarters immediately!!!! (off in the Flyboat they go).....




Tuck: Wow !!!! Look at all of these great men.....

Linny: Yes, Tuck, there are lots of people in the Republican Party that we can look up to - Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Ronald Reagan ....

Ming-Ming: Abwaham Wincoln, Teddy Woosevelt and Wonald Weagan ???!!

Linny: Ming-Ming !!!!!

Ming-Ming: Sorry ............





Tuck: Linny, that's great, but who's in charge now?

Linny: In Washington, no one. That's the first problem. The GOP is fighting amongst themselves. Instead of focusing on beating the other guys, they're trying to just kick out everyone on thier own side.

Tuck: You mean trying to 'Out-Republican' each other?

Linny: Exactly, Tuck. They're not being very open-minded. Now, the Chairman of the GOP is Michael Steele - he ran for Senator in Maryland, but he lost.

Ming-Ming: I'd think the weader should be someone who knows how to win, don't you?

Linny: You'd think, so Ming-Ming.....






Ming-Ming: I'll fix this......I - will become .......the weader of the G.O.P !!! Just give me the micwophone.... I wequest....... the Speaker......... wecognize the Duck form the Ewementawy Schoow !!!!!!



Tuck and Linny: Ming-Ming, NO !!!!!!!!!

Ming-Ming: AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH !!!!!

Tuck: Linny, Ming-Ming's been taken into custody by the Capitol Hill Police !!!

Linny: Maybe we should have stopped by the White House first - we probably could have gotten in there with no problem...

Tuck: Linny, take a look.... Do you notice all of these people are white guys?

Linny: That's another problem, Tuck.... Locally, we don't have any support from minorities, which are a growing demographic. If we don't find answers to the issues they care about, the GOP will go the way of the dinosaur....

Tuck: You mean - extinct?

Linny: Yes, Tuck - imagine a world run only by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi ......

Ming-Ming: DIS ...... IS .......... SEWIOUS !!!!!!

Linny and Tuck: MING-MING !!!!!

Ming-Ming: Hey Guys !!!! AAAAAWWWWWGGGFFFF !!!!!

Capitol Policeman: Get back here, Ducky !!!! (Gunshots are fired)........






Linny: We need to come up with a plan to save the Republican Party, and get all those people we lost back again.

Tuck: I KNOW !!!!! It seems that we made eveyone happy when we listened, when we didn't spend too much money, and when we didn't tell people how to live their lives.

Linny: You mean like Gay Marriage and Abortion, Tuck?

Tuck: Right, Linny. Just because most people don't agree with something doesn't mean that we shouldn't respect those other people some too. The GOP just sounds like a bunch of intolerant haters then. You can disagree but still seem tolerant.

Linny: All that, and stop calling us for money ten times a week ......Boy, that sure sounds easy enough. But we're just a turtle, a hamster - and if Ming-Ming is still alive - a duckling. We can't even vote. I guess we really can't save the GOP on our own.

Tuck: Yeah, I guess you're right, Linny. But we did come up with a plan to do it - so we can still celebrate, right?

Linny: I guess you're right, Tuck..... How about a piece of celery - with peanut butter and raisins? Ants On a Log !

Tuck: OK , sounds delicious....

Ming-Ming: Did someone say celery ???!!!!!

Tuck and Linny: MING-MING !!!!! You're free !

Ming-Ming: Heck yeah - the bars on the jaiw ceww were too far apart to hold me ! Wet's eat - but we better do it after we get on the Fwyboat, and get the f**k outta Dodge...

Tuck and Linny: Ming-Ming ??? What's with the swearing?

Ming-Ming: hey, I spent an hour in jail - I'm institutionalized, bitches !!!!

Linny: C'mon Wonder Pets, let's go home !!!! To the Flyboat ....





ALL: Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets - we found a way, to help the GOP and save the day...... We're not too big, and we're not too tough, but when we work together, we've got the right stuff !!!!!!!







WANTED: Ming Ming Ducky
For disrupting a session of Congress, impersonating a US Senator, escaping from prison, and flying near the US Capitol without a license or authorization.


BTW, I am Tuck, Steph is Linny and Dana is Ming-Ming ........ and proud of it!
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