Sunday, February 25, 2007

100 Years Later, and the Immigration Debate Still Sounds the Same..

I got this from a friend, who shall remain nameless, since he holds public office. It is from a 1907 speech by Teddy Roosevelt. Sound familiar?

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

This was right about the time both my grandfathers came from Italy. They worked, paid their taxes, and learned English. This was a time where nothing in their lives was a given. No free health care, no welfare - nothing. It's ironic that exactly 100 years later, that the argument is exactly the same, but it sounds so much worse now. Why? Because too much is given to illegal aliens.

America is getting fat, happy and lazy. Work is not expected from anyone, and innovation is frowned upon by government. It appears that by the end of my generation, we will turn into a welfare state, and America will no longer be the world power it once was. Count on it....

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Bobby Comes to State Senator's Rescue.... I-20 to be Renamed In His Honor..

Yes, our Bobbo is a real Good Samaritan - a true American Hero!! Well, maybe he's just a nice guy. Today, our guy was driving down I-20 back from Columbia, when he saw a motorist stranded on the side of the road. Bob checked with him to make sure he was okay, and the guy said he was fine, and that AAA was on the way. The man thanked him , and gave him his was State Senator Dick Elliott!
Of course, Bobby had no idea who he was - politics just isn't his gig. What made me laugh was that Bobby thought he was an elderly man in trouble. How old is Elliott??
My question today is: What would you say if you had Dick Elliott stuck on the side of the road, and he needed your help? Would you make him join the GOP? Have him sign a statement admitting I-73 really isn't needed? Make him rename Dick Elliott Highway after you? Give you a free pass to all the B&C amusement parks?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

It's Not Easy Working at the DOT Lately.......

Times are tough nowadays at the SC Dept. of Transportation. Tens of millions of dollars in wasted spending, possible book-fixing, legal troubles, and being the poster boy for everything that is wrong with State Government - the SCDOT is getting hit from all sides. And it's taking it's toll.......
Word is that morale among it's employees is at an all-time low. The everyday Joe's that work for the DOT do their jobs well, it's hard to be happy when your bosses are screwing up things so badly. As bad as it is for those guys, it's worse up top.
The DOT Board of Commissioners are under constant attack. What was once viewed as a top level government job is now looked upon as a laughingstock. " Back in the good old days, I got lunch for free anywhere in the state. Now , I get picked on at the Kroger by stock boys." Another put it more bluntly: " I just tell people that I'm a Crack Whore.... I'm too embarrassed."
How much worse will it get? Perhaps painting the trucks from OSHA yellow to camouflage would help. Or changign the name from DOT to MTV or CMT or something more likeable. Here's a thought: Get the crooks and politicians out of the agency, and get some people who actually know how it works in there. Good Luck , Governor Sanford - keep using that broom!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Does the Black Community Really Want a Black President ???

"You may have the looks, Junior, but I've got the cash !!"

I was reading the T&D's butt-lick article on Barack Obama's visit to Orangeburg last week. In the comments section there was an interesting comment by someone who felt that many AA politicians, including Jim Clyburn, do not really want an AA President for various reasons.

I kind of blew this off for a minute, but then the announcement that the Clinton campaign is kicking 10k a month to Sen. Darrell Jackson's consulting company. This answered a question I had yesterday, when I asked how they got her to come to Florence. Sen. Jackson's partner in the firm is State Rep. and former Florence County Councilman Terry Alexander. How do I know this? I ran into Jackson and Alexander at the Statehouse two years ago, and Alexander told me so. Straight from the horse's mouth. I don't forget ANYTHING.

So, there is a little fire where the smoke is. While Obama is getting the attention of young and female voters (both Black and White) , Clinton is doing it via the 'Trickle-Down' Method. That is, pay the mouthpieces and powerbrokers of the black community, and let them take care of the rest. Jackson, Alexander and Robert Ford appear to be on board already. How well will it work? That remains to be seen. Bill Clinton is often referred to as "America's First Black President ", but Hillary doesn't really have the same clout. So while Obama is undoubtedly more black than Clinton, the question remains....... Is Obama black enough - or is it green enough?

And what of the Carolina Kingmaker? Well, Whipmaster Jim is playing it coy right now. He did introduce Obama at his appearance, but there was an interesting twist. The appearance was at Claflin, not across the street at Clyburn's alma mater, SC State. Not pushing the man in front of his home crowd says a lot. Looks to me like Bubba's willing to help Obama out a bit, but Jim follows the bread, and Hillary's got it in spades. Funnier things have happened, and Clyburn is in a no win situation by picking either, so he will not throw his weighty support ( you can get John Kerry's opinion on the size of that weight) for either - at least not yet.

It is a fact that there are many people out there who make very good livings by throwing stones at the Male White Establishment - real or not. They can complain endlessly when the man in charge is a white guy, but can you keep complaining if the person is the same race? Makes it a lot harder for Jesse, Jim, Al and the like... It really is an interesting argument. One would think that if you want someone who understands the black experience, there would be only one candidate. However, money talks and BS (or in this case, idealism) walks. Good luck, Barack! I don't think Gilda Cobb-Hunter has thrown her support anywhere yet.


Jet Blue Announces It's Customers Bill of Rights....

Another Jet Blue Plane....... Still Stuck on the Runway..

Yep, Jet Blue dropped the ball bigtime this week. I definitely would not want to spend 10 hrs. on the tarmac if it's snowing. Blue has had a sterling reputation for customer service, and I guess they are trying to take steps to retain that standing. They're giving the customers some cash and they're now releasing their Customer Bill of Rights. Here are the first few Amendments:

1. We'll stop De-icing the plane so we can take off faster.

2. Unlimited free peanuts and Open Bar.

3. Flight Attendants will take a poll of customers whether to take off or not.

4. Softer T.P. in the john.

5. Customers may "cane" or "Paddle" any member of Jet Blue's staff if not satisfied with their service. CEO is not included.

6. You may stop at ANY city while flying between cities. Simply pull the rope on the side, and the plane will land in the nearest city.

7. Jet Blue will disregard all carry-on requirements of the FAA on it's flights. Bring those automatic weapons and chuck sticks anytime !

8. If a pilot refuses to take a plane off after the customer poll, any customer will be allowed to fly it. Note: You break it, you bought it!

9. Go ahead, take the TV home with you!

10. Meet your new flight attendant........ Brooke Burke!!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Geez... You Can't Swing a Dead Cat Without Hitting A Presidential Candidate This Week!!

Now we know how people in New Hampshire feel..... Man, has it been crazy the last couple weeks around here. Obama, Clinton, McCain, Brownback.... They're all coming to the Plametto State. Why? Because they have finally figured out that we're not kooks like in New England, and we don't hold a Caucus like Iowa ( what is the point of it?). And the scary part? They're even showing up here in Florence !
Yep, Hillary was in town today with her motorcade and Secret Service arresting anyone who wasn't holding a Hillary for President banner. She also was at Allen University , and would be finishing up at a tribute to Jim Clyburn in Charleston. Jim is being honored for ......... uh.... something. If anyone has an idea why, let me know.
Another candidate coming to town is Sen. John McCain. It's great that he's coming here, but I have a minor beef, and not with him. I have no idea where, when he'll be, and if I have to pay to see him. Why? Because no one has told me or anyone I know that he was coming. Why? Because our county party still hasn't figured this strange technology called E-Mail. Nope, we a 'Phone Chain", where you call two friends, and they call two friends, and so on, and so on.......
So, while I already can tell you who will be where in Columbia, Charleston, and even Spartanburg, I have no idea who is coming in my own backyard!! Time for my local party to get with the 21st Century.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

SC6 Unveils It's Mole.........Chester, the Mouse in Nancy Pelosi's Office !

After months of exhaustive work, we announce our inside informant, Chester the Mouse. Chester has worked his way inside Nancy Pelosi's office on Capitol Hill, where he hides inside ina crack in the wall. A former Secret Service agent from the Reagan Administration, Chet has plenty of experience in Black Operations: Nicaragua, Iran-Contra, Eastern Europe, and most recently in the Middle East on ops we cannot discuss.
Through a chance encounter in the checkout aisle at a local Piggly Wiggly, we learned of Chester's availability. Chet jumped at the opportunity to serve, with only two stipulations: Cuban cigars, and that he get to keep the surveillance equipment when it's all over. That being said, we give you the first installment of Chester the Mouse's "Inside the Democratic Party Leadership."
Sure , know what you're wondering... How is a mouse going to survive in this office. Well, I've got plenty of equipment to live through even a nuclear winter. And as far as food, no problem! While most mice eat leftover crumbs, there's plenty to eat here. Ans nancy supplies it all! How? Two words: BINGE AND PURGE ...... Yep, Nancy does the old index finger hello, and I get all the food I need. How do you think she stays so thin??
Man oh Man, what a week! I finally get my gig set up, and right off the bat , the Dems are going crazy on Iraq, and it looks like the kook contingent is off and running. Nancy and the hippies from California are trying to not only get the vote through on he troops in Iraq, they're trying to stop funding the troops! Don't believe it? I was there....
Nancy's at her desk, rolling a fattie and wearing a peace button, when Steny Hoyer comes busting in, screaming at her. "I told the press that we weren't going to stop funding the troops, and during the hearings, that's what you're all saying is the next step?? What the hell are you trying to do to me???!!", says Hoyer. "I look like a big frickin' liar!!" Boy was he mad..
"Easy, baby... Don't be such a square , man! Said Pelosi. Big Brother has laid a trip on the people for way too long, man. You can line up with the babykillers and The Man, or you can be with us- The Pink Panthers ! " Hoyer got sick.......Great for me - more free food.
So this week's message? Don't believe the word "Redeployment" - those Dems are out to stop everything in Iraq. Gotta get in the bathroom - Nancy's ordering take out......

Britney Spears Shaves Her Head: It's Official, CUCKOO!! CUCKOO!!

Okay, it's time to start the Britney Watch: This is not a Photo Shop pic, Britjob went Oops, and shaved her Noggin. When you get separated, get your woo-woo shot on the internet during a night out with Paris and Lindsay , then go to rehab, leave rehab, get a couple tattoos and shave your head right on top of one another, then it's time to re-evaluate your life.
To be honest, I thought Britney would avoid all these pitfalls. She seemed to have better handlers than this, but I was extremely wrong. When you go from Pop Tart to Manson Family lookalike, you're on the wrong track. Sure Natalie Portman and Demi Moore shaved thier heads also, but those were for movie roles.
Fresh off of Anna Nicole Smith dying, maybe this could be a wakeup call for Britney to clean her act up. Brit, take a step back, be a Mom, and just try to be ordinary for a while. Tell the record company and your 50 clingers to kiss off, and sit on your millions and raise a family.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Homewreckers for Everyone !! Moe's Comes to Florence !

Today was a great day for the city of Florence, as we had the Grand Opening of Moe's Southwest Grill in the Florence Mall, just off of Five Points. This was the biggest opening in town since.... well, since the Starbucks opened up next door a month ago.

I'm not a froo-froo coffee man, so I was looking forward to walking and hearing twenty people yell "WELCOME TO MOE'S !!!!". A Shane's Rib Shack will be opened next door soon. I'd been to the Moe's in West Ashley a bunch of times, so I was used to the yell, the oddly named menu, and the assembly line style service. A few people seemed a bit confused by the setup, but they'll get used to it.

I got the Homewrecker, and they gave me free chips for the road, but everything on the menu is good, and they even sell beer. Earl?

Now only if we could get some plants to come here too..............

Friday, February 16, 2007

In Memoriam: Snoop Dog 2000-2007.

Today was probably the hardest day I've had since my Mom passed away . I had to put Snoop, my best buddy and campaign mascot, to sleep today. We're not sure exactly what the cause was , but he ended up with a collapsed lung, which made it difficult for him to breathe. He had been a bit sick all week - not eating much, not quite as chipper as he usually was. Today though, I knew he was in trouble. He passed on his beloved Milk-Bonz, and then he became short of breath. The vet's tried to expand it back, but it didn't work. I sat there stunned as I watched my dog , who was playing 30 seconds earlier, short of breath and all, be put to rest - eyes still open.
I had Snoop since he was the size of my hand. In fact, he was a going away gift from my ex-wife, who left a week later. Everyone loved that dog. He was obedient, fun, and all he lived for was a bone, and to be pet. I'll miss watching him patrol the perimeter of the yard everytime he went out. I'll miss seeing him chase cats and squirrels, how he got excited at the words "Uncle Bobby" or "Wanna go Out?". I'll miss moving his bed from the living room to the bedroom, so he could sleep at my feet each night. I'll miss hearing his claws tick across the hardwood floors , and seeing him do his happy dance when I come home from work. I'll miss being 10 minutes late to work, waiting for him to finish his business. I'll miss him, period.......
This takes a little air out of my urge to be funny today, but life goes on, and I have lots of pictures and memories of my little buddy.
Snoop Dog - Canine, Best Friend, Presidential Candidate. Rest in Peace, Boobah!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

SC6 Covert Operations Report: We Successfully Plant Our Mole Inside the Democratic Machinery.......

SC6 to Name It's Mole Monday, February 19th..........
After months of careful planning, we here at SC6 have received confirmation that our planted mole inside the Democratic Party leadership has been set. With it, we will be able to give you unabated, unfiltered, true access to what the Dems have in store for America. We'll be able to cut through the talking points and public stances, and reveal the inside skinny on their motivations - even their habits.......
Who is our Mole? Find out this Monday . Is it a he/she? A new intern? A disgruntled secretary? Secret Service? Who knows.... All the answers will come Monday, and that will just be the start, as our mole will periodically check in to deliver the latest poop in the Capitol. Should we be worried that they'll catch him/her? No way. Even when they know who he/she is , they won't be able to find him/her..... the mole is THAT GOOD.
Intrigued? You should be. Be there Monday for information from a political blog like you've never seen before.....................

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

This Week in Congress: Everyone on the Hill Gives Their Two Cents on Iraq - Some Eloquently, Some Uhhh.......

I've been watching C-SPAN for the last two days after work, to get an opportunity to hear some of America's best speak on President Bush's proposal to increase the troops in Iraq by 21,500. Most of the speeches are okay, some were pretty bad (Reps. Capps and Fortenberry - stay home next time).
This will continue for the next couple days, as each member will get 5 minutes to voice his or her opinion. And like crackheads that can't stay off the rock, Congress can't stay away from the microphone on C-SPAN. What I would have liked to see is a forum like the old high school math contests - put the best 3 of each team on the panel to argue the point. If the GOP would jut have let John McHugh(R-NY) and Dave Reichert(R-WA) speak only, America would have a good idea of why we are there. But everyone HAS to talk, and the quality in the message gets washed up and diluted.
After 4 years, it's funny how facts get a little eschewed over time. Here's a few points that I think have been forgotten over time.
1. By removing troops from Iraq, we would be evacuating, not redeploying .
2. We did not go into Iraq because they WMD's or that they were tied to Al-Qaeda. It was because Saddam Hussein refused the UN weapons inspectors access to checking for WMD's, thus creating a threat to other nations, including the US.
3. You cannot lay the blame solely on President Bush and not General Petraeus, when the plan Bush is pushing is Petraeus' plan. If you do so, you are not support both of them.
4. The current situation in Iraq is not Civil War. It is a war that is fed by terrorist groups worldwide, along with the governments of Syria and Iran. It is a sample platter of freedom vs. terrorism.
5. Winning the House and Senate in November was not a mandate to leave Iraq.
Like anyone else, I'd like to see our men and women come home. Right before the election, everyone seemed to be on the same page that 2007 was the make or break year. Unfortunately, the Democratic leadership has gone haywire, and just decided that cut and running is patriotic. None of the recommendations of the Iraq Study Group (including my nuclear option) has had time to be implemented, so give them that time to implement them. If it doesn't change, then it is time for re-evaluation.

Happy Valentine's Day , Or As I Call It - February 14th..

So Earl, did you send that girl anything for VD - I mean Valentine's Day? I'm really bummed out today since I didn't have anyone to celebrate with. Bummed out that I didn't get to blow $60 on roses, $15 on candy, $50 on dinner, and a couple hundred more on jewelry, or a day of beauty, or some other gift just to try and prove that I love someone.
Oh, I forgot the card too. Guys, do you love your lady? Well, just be a kind, attentive and caring man, and you won't have to overspend to show her you care. Do a better job the other 364 days, and today will be just February 14th. I know, easy for me to say........
Kudos and condolences to Bobby, who pulled a major coup of romance by getting Billy Joel tickets FOR FREE tonight, only to have his wife's boss make her stay OT, causing them to miss the show. To the boss at Jackson Hewitt - you are a big putz. If it was my wife, I probably would have yanked her out of that BS job, and kicked your stupid butt on the way out......

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

You Can't Bring Toothpaste on a Plane, but Cheez Wiz Is Okay ??

In preparation of my impending trip to ....... wherever, I went onto the TSA's website, to find out more of their new restrictions. It is really eyeopening, and in true Federal Government fashion, it makes you wonder the board was thinking when they decided what was safe, and what not allowed.

Now, the restrictions are for carry-on bags only, so you don't need a 3 oz. shampoo and bodywash in a ziplock for a 2 week vacation - good thing! I would've gotten pretty gamey with no 'poo or soap. So, as long as you put it in the check-in bag, feel free to bring that Costco 3 gallon Pert Plus along for the trip.

So , as a public service , SC6 would like to pass on this list of Can's and Can'ts:

OK in Carry-On.

Shampoo, deodorant, bubble bath, hair gel, eye drops and saline, lip gloss, foundation, mascara, makeup remover,mouthwash , nail polish, and toothpaste. all must be 3 oz. or less.....

Soda bought after security, baby formula, breast milk, Jell-O, pudding, Peanut Butter, Cheez Whiz, Whipped Cream and Yogurt - 3 oz. or less. Rules are rules, but any condiment that assists with the Mile High Club is apparently still acceptable.

And the Odd....... Corkscrews, Cigar Cutters, Screwdrivers, Nail Files, Scissors, Transformer Robots, Pliers and Spray Paint. Guess the TSA never watched McGyver or The Shawshank Redemption.............

Carry-On No-No's......

Knives, Box Cutters, Ice Picks, Sabers (Light or otherwise), Swords, baseball bats, hockey sticks, Bow & Arrows, Ski poles, pool cues, spear guns, cricket bats, lacrosse sticks, Pistols, BB guns, pellet guns, dynamite, gun powder, saws, billy clubs, black jacks, brass knuckles, mace, kubatons, night sticks, nunchucks, throwing stars, hand grenades, gasoline, bleach, tear gas and fire extinguishers... but you see, I need the dynamite and lacrosse sticks to keep my kid entertained.......


Why People Move Down South..............

Thanks, Martha!


My Return to Politics: Florence County GOP Meeting..

I finally attended a political function, when I went to the Florence GOP Meeting last night. The keynote speaker was Jason Miller, Gov. Sanford's Deputy Chief of Staff , and a big Mike Reino fan.........I think.

Miller's focus was to round up support for reorganization of the State's agencies, and it's elected positions. It was interesting to see him assault the DOT for it's recent failures, while watching a Senator's Chief of Staff squirm a bit. I hate to see it, but it appears that the Senate is still hellbent on stopping any sensible legislation that might lessen their power. Too bad.

I'm not sure what my position in the local party is, now that I'm not running for office. I had a few 'Whatcha doing now"'s, but it was pretty quiet. I had more comments on the blog that anything else, mostly positive - as long as you consider "throwing vinegar in ( enter name here)'s eyes" a positive statement - which I do.

The funny part is seeing some people jump out of the woodwork now that their seats are up for grabs again. No one shows up to meetings, fundraisers or anything else for 2 or 3 years, then they show up on Opening Day. I'm not sure if I'll be going for a position or not. Publish your comments here. Would I be more effective as a party insider, or am I better as a "Wild Card" ?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Airport '07: House Speaker Hijacks Her Own 757 ??

Air Pelosi: Fly the Fiendly Skies !!


Prince's Halftime Puppet Show........

Yeah, it's late. But there's been a lot to do this week. Far more interesting than the Super Bowl commercials, was the Halftime Show featuring Prince. The artist, formerly known as The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, played in the not so purple rain for 20 minutes. Even if he wasn't at his best, at least he left people talking afterwards.

While people talked most about his Dr. Seuss-like pee-pee behind the big sheet, I was wondering why a musician with 25 years of hits under his belt was playing CCR, Jimi Hendrix and Foo Fighters covers? I was looking forward more to hearing anything than him play other people's songs. Big let down, Prince. Now about that Snickers commercial............

Why No One Stays in Upstate New York For Long.... 7 Feet High and Counting.........

Oswego, NY - the town where I graduated college - made news nationwide when the heavens dumped nearly seven feet of snow on it this week, and it hasn't and will not stop through the weekend. By the time it is over, forecasts have the total amounts to top TEN FEET! This is a picture of King Hall, where the alumni offices are - or at least were...

Oswego lies right on the southeast banks of Lake Ontario, where the winds constantly whip, and the lake effect snow can pile up. For those of you who have never experienced Lake effect snow, or it's nasty brother - The White Out - you have missed Mother Nature at her finest. The moist lake air meets the cold dry air on land, and POOF - Snow, and lots of it. Usually, the wind blows so strong, that the snow doesn't land until it's 10-20 miles down the road, but not this time.

Once, it snowed about three feet during finals. I guess I knew it was time to get out of Dodge when I was working in Rochester, and it snowed 17 inches one morning. It took me 2 hours to drive to work (to sell vacuums no less), and they want me to go out and work in that mess. As soon as it thawed, I left. Is it any wonder my college has 200 alumni in South Carolina alone?? Snow is nice around Christmas and New Years, but after 5 months , it has a habit of wearing you out.

Oh yeah.... SO MUCH FOR GLOBAL WARMING !!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

SC6 Consumer Alert: Easy-Bake Ovens Are Recalled.... Meth Labs Are Up in Arms !!

Hasbro has put out a recall on nearly 1 million Easy-Bake ovens made in the past year. According to reports, there is a possibility of small children getting their hands stuck in them, causing possible burns. Another life lesson will be stopped - don't put your hand in an oven! Oh well.

What was more stunning to me was the fact that 1 million of these babies have been sold in just over a year. Have you seen any kids with an Easy-Bake oven? I thought they stopped making these years ago. That got me to thinking...... who are buying these puppies?

Knowing the ingenuity that some illegal drug makers have to produce the stuff, it wouldn't surprise me if they were being purchased wih the intent of making crack and crystal meth. The final step of the process in the production is cooking the mixture, and that little bulb might make a good little heater. In my life , I've seen addicts smoke through engine parts, apples, tin cans - even roll tin foil around a pencil! It wouldn't surprise me if none of the Easy-Bake ovens were sent back in, because there's too much crack residue inside of them..

So, my advice is if you have a niece with the Easy-Bake oven, tell her to send it back for retrofitting. On the other hand, if your 19-year old cousin has one, you might want want to give him the NA number.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Tit for Tat: Reino Blows Big State Post After He Hexes Bears With Super Bowl Pick.....

(AP - Columbia). In a strange twist of politics and football, political kamikaze and court jester Mike Reino lost all possibility of a future cabinet position, when he was blamed by a major player on Governor Mark Sanford's staff for the loss by the Chicago Bears in the Super Bowl.

According to a source inside the rift, Reino picked the Bears to win the Super Bowl on Sunday, and after they lost 29-17 to Indianapolis, members of the Governor's staff who root for Da Bears flet that Reino was to blame. A few well-placed phone calls later, Reino was added to a list of people never to be considered for a post. The others listed are Jane Fonda, Kim Jong-Il and Mike Tyson.

When asked for comment, Reino was stunned. "Hey, all I know is I thought it through, and I felt the Bears could win. Who knew Rex Grossman would play that bad? Next thing I know, i'm getting voodoo doll bears wearing t-shirts reading, 'Thanks, Mike'. Then I get this call that I'm banned like Jerry Seinfeld at the fruit stand......"

A staffer who asked not to be named gave the inside skinny. "Mike is a great guy and a good Republican, but picking the Bears was like walking under a ladder with a black cat on Friday the 13th - it's all his fault! He's right up there with Mrs. O'Leary's Cow and the Black Sox."

While Reino's political future may seem done, he does have a plan to redeem himself... "I've got myself signed up for one of those 5 minutes with Sanford under an alias, and I'm gonna bring one of those KFC Magic Buckets - Mark loves it when you buy him food"............

The Florence Post Office Wins the Cliff Clavin Lifetime Achievement Award for Slow Mail Delivery.....

Sure, slow mail delivery is a bit cliche', but today I had an experience like few have ever seen before with poor performance from our pals at the USPS..

I get a check from my renter the last week of every month like clockwork. After all, he is Japanese, and they are regimented like no other people. By the way, the last week of the month is about 3 weeks early. I love this guy!

Well, last week came and went, and this weekend came and went as well, and no check. After gutting my checking account to pay the mortgage on time, I began to poop a major brick. I hate bothering Hiro about payment, particularly when it's not exactly due, but if I didn't hear anything today, I figured I needed to call.....Luckily, the check was in my PO Box - and that's when the fun began.........

I look at the letter, and the post date was January 26th.... it took TEN DAYS to get there !! Even worse, the check was marked from the Florence Regional Hub - the same office my PO Box is at!! It took ten days to send a letter 25 feet !!!

Hey, it's not a big deal. I only had to fight Snoop for his Alpo for a week... So, kudos to the Florence Post Office for giving snail mail a new all-time low in meaning - actually, snails move faster than that.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Press Release: Snoop Dog Piles Up Endorsements for Candidacy...

While John McCain and Mitt Romney are busy getting the support of useless politicians like Jim DeMint and Henry McMaster, my dog Snoop has gained the support of well-known people who are experts in their fields....... people America trusts. It shows that in South Carolina's important First in the South Primary next year, that those in the Palmetto State need look no further than their own native son, Snoop Dog.

McGruff, The Crime Dog: "Taking a bite out of crime is my passion, and Snoop Dog has the teeth to tackle the job. Kids like this girl, what's her name, can look forward to a safe future, free from crime caused by Illegal Aliens."

TV Star and War Hero, Rin Tin Tin: "After years in the bush, fighting the Communist horde, and sharpening my 1000-yard stare, you can take my word that Snoop Dog will make America strong again in these tough times. South Carolina needs to support it's own pup - Snoop Dog. God Bless America."

Lassie: "Snoop isn't just an old boyfriend of mine, he's a great American. Whether it's Health Care, or getting people stuck in a well out, you need to understand people. Snoop can understand words like Walk, Chewy Bone, Milk Bone, Sit and Uncle Bobby. He truly speaks OUR language, and he has the heart."

Also joining the campaign are Benji, Morris the Cat, Tiger from The Brady Bunch, Eddie from Frasier, Charlie the Tuna, and ALF *.

Snoop Dog for President.......... Because politics is a dog-eat-dog business, and there's only one dog running.

* ALF is not officially an animal, but an alien. **

** By alien, we mean a resident of another planet, not an undocumented worker, therefore ALF supports Snoop Dog's stance on illegal aliens.

paid for by Snoop for President 2008.

Someone Up There Must Like My Sister.....

Remember about a month ago, when I went to Florida for the first time ever? Well, the area my sister lives in made news again this week, when powerful tornadoes whipped right through The Villages in central Florida, killing 19.

Exactly how close was this disaster? The tornado missed my sister's home by a mere 5 blocks. Fortunately, her home was spared, as was the Day Spa and Salon that she just opened in December. She dodged a huge bullet this time, and I hope she goes to church tomorrow to thank God for sparing her.

Yesterday was definitely a day I'd rather forget about. I heard about "possible tornadoes" in the area while at work, but I realized that my sister's life was in jeopardy when I got home for lunch, and I saw places that I had been to a month ago damaged and destroyed. After 6 hours of unanswered phone calls, I started to freak out a little...

Luckily, my brother Mark had spoken to Monica earlier, and found out she was okay. While we were all lucky, I wondered if I hadn't hexed someone once again. It reminded me of the time I went to work at a Roy Rogers restaurant - and Roy died. Or that time I bought a Les Paul guitar - then he died. Or the 4 dogs and cats who died when I lived with my friends in New York. Such is the curse when you share your birthday with OJ Simpson.......

Sure, I overdramatize a bit, but there is a track record there. For now, I'll count my blessings and thank God for being good to me and my family - now if my sister would just CALL ME BACK FOR ONCE !!!!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

How We Are Screwing Up the Ethanol Answer in SC.....

Wouldn't One of Those Look Good in Clarendon or Orangeburg...

I read the editorial today in the State, and it was nice for them to point out the need for Ethanol plants in SC. I don't agree that Lexington County is the place to do it - it is a suburban county thta is undergoing a lot of expansion, and residents quality of life should be primary. My answer? Put it in my district! While I wouldn't say that Ethanol is the answer, it could be a major part of the solution of weaning ourselves from foreign oil. That is, as long as our business and political leaders don't screw it up - and so far, they are. Here are my tips. My friends from Gov. Sanford's staff, once again use it with my blessing. That reminds me, where is my patronage gig? I got Mark a lot of votes, man...........

Tip No. 1: Build Plants in South Carolina.

I was driving by the only gas station in Florence that sells Ethanol, and I saw a funny thing. It was about 15 cents a gallon HIGHER than gas. Part of the attraction of Ethanol was that it would cost about $1.70 a gallon, and the costs would drop as production went up. We call this Economies of Scale. Big problem, though... The economic price curve has changed due to two things. First, the automakers are making plenty of E85 cars and trucks, so there is a larger demand for the product, but, no one is making more of it - Demand Up, Supply steady = higher price. Another problem is that the only way to transport Ethanol is to ship it by tanker truck, which uses...... OOPS!! GAS! And they are driving all the way from Tennessee and all points West. Closer plants would lower costs, raise inventory and lower prices.

Tip No. 2: Build Plants Where the Corn Is - The 6th District.

Why are they trying to put a plant up in Lexington, when Orangeburg and Clarendon Counties are the top two producers in the State. Guess what area is right in the middle of it? Lake Marion, where all the locals have no opportunities, according to The Whipmaster. So, instead of $150 million to build a road with no other real plan for development, put up a plant or two on the I-95 corridor, and create some jobs for people who need it. Want a site or two? Highway 521 in Alcolu already has the rail lines, interstate and Natural Gas Lines needed. Voila!! The other one could go in the I-26/301/I-95 Triangle.

Tip No. 3: Create The Incentive to Come Here.

In this early period of Ethanol expansion, there are plenty of locations for companies to choose from. The state that makes it easier to build and do business will get the money, and the tax dollars it creates. The plants make money from Day One, so they just need help for startup costs. Help them out a little, and let's get the ball rolling. It's time to end the rhetorical war on oil dependence and make it happen.

Tip No. 4: Create the Market for Them to Build in SC.

E-85, E-85,E-85.... Enough of that for now. Instead of relying on too few cars that use mass amounts of Ethanol, have a plan that lets ALL cars use it. The answer? Increase the amount of Ethanol in regular gas. Guess how much you can use in regular gas? Up to 10% ! That would put a good dent in our oil consumption, and a big dent in some Sheik's wallet. I challenge a State Representative to draft a bill to require SC to use up to 10% Ethanol in it's gas, depending on the amount produced in the State. There you go - you just created an untapped market for a producer to make all they can. Based on current usage numbers, that would be 260 million gallons a year, which is full capacity for 5 plants, and would help farmers by making a market for double the current corn production. Grown in SC, Produced in SC, Sold in SC, and Used in SC.

Sounds easy enough... Those are my tips that I spent 2 years working on to make a plan. To our politicians, here is my challenge/threat.......... Use my plan, or Feel My Wrath !! Ask around DC and Columbia - it's better to be my buddy than my target. Get to work, fellas!