Saturday, March 29, 2008

SC6 Expose !!! We Uncover Clyburn's Covert Operation to Bilk House Bank Out of Millions......




Here's Jim... WHERE ELSE ?? On the Golf Course, and Out of the District..





Let's see if this one makes the New York Times... Our crack (or is it cracked? Crackhead?) staff at SC6 has uncovered a scheme to bilk millions of dollars out of the House Bank, and SC6 has followed a trail that leads to the second home of House Whipmaster Jim Clyburn - a neighboring foot locker at a Golf Club he frequents !





After a thorough investigation, SC6 has located the team that worked the scam.



Based at a software enginering firm in Texas, this team came up with an intricate, or maybe not so intricate plan to skim funds away from the House Bank in Washington DC...






The team members are Peter Gibbons, Michael Bolton (no relation to the singer) and Samir Nagadi.., uh Nagime.... - lets just call him Samir for simplicity's sake. Here's how the scam worked: a software bug was implanted into the House Bank, where a percentage of leftover funds were skimmed , then set up into an account. "It's kinda like in Superman III", according to Bolton.




The money was pulled out of the account and a check was put into Clyburn's foot locker at a Golf Club he frequents in the DC area. However, the check was placed into an adjoining locker, belonging to this man...





His name is Milton Waddams. He was last seen in the Caribbean, drinking a Mai Tai on thebeach, and threating to put Salt Peter in the guacamole...






According to Waddams supervisor, Bill Lumbergh, "We fired him years ago, RIIGHT, and we stopped paying him, so YEEEAAHHH, we uh, fixed the glitch. He also thougt we stole his stapler. RIIIIGHT." Now Waddams is missing , and Clyburn's co-conspirators are dropping dime on the Congressman. Said Gibbons, "There is NO WAY I'm going to a Federal, pound you in the ass prison alone, man!!" Samir concurred, although he noted, "You do get congigal visits"........


Calls to Clyburn's office were not attempted.


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1 comment:

west_rhino said...

Is it me or does Milton favor Earl a little bit?