Snoop: Not the First President with No Balls, But the First With Fleas !!
Now that the mid-term elections are over, we are finding out which candidates are putting their names in the hat, and which ones are dropping out. However, a new candidate is entering a fold......... my dog Snoop!
Before you laugh this off, listen to me. Snoop has all the tools and abilities to lead the United States into the future. Don't believe me? Let me list them out for you.....
Snoop is a Fiscal Conservative.
Yep, Snoop is definitely not a liberal spendaholic. Want proof? No problem. Everytime I feed him, he only eats about half his food, and saves the other half for later. All those concerned about deficit spending and the Social Security Trust Fund have their man, uh, dog.
Snoop Is Tough on Homeland Security.
The Minuteman Militia has nothing on my Lab Mutt ! Ever vigilant, Snoop keeps an eye on the homefront all day long, and out of the house, he chases away every cat, squirrel and other varmint in the area! Al Qaeda doesn't have a chance in America with Snoop at the helm. I'm not sure I'd trust him with the little red button though...
Snoop Appeals to the Common Man.
An orphan born into abject poverty, Snoop was taken in by a charming, kind and handsome man who immediately had Snoop's privates removed. Also, being a Labrador, he is black. His appeal crosses over into all demographic groups, with the exception of drive thru cashiers at fast food restaurants. Truly, Snoop is a dog of the people.
Snoop Has the Political Pedigree.
Born into the political juggernaut that is the Reino clan, Snoop has been a student of the game all his life. Truth be told, it was Snoop who came up with the famous "Mike Reino Milk Bonz BBQ" back in 2004. Didn't go? Well, neither did anyone else. He's still working on it.
Snoop Is a Taskmaster.
Tired of politicians changing their stances based on polls and which way the wind blows? Give Snoop a try... He has this rawhide bone that he incessantly chews on all day long, and he takes it wherever he goes. House on fire? Nuclear Holocaust? New BS Supreme Court Ruling? WHATEVER ! Snoop just keeps on chewing til the bone is GONE! To quote Mr. Miyagi, "Focus, Daniel san!"
Convinced yet? We've estimated that my dog has appeal to approximately 98.7% of the voting public. And since he is 6 1/2 years old, that translates to about 46 human years, so he's old enough now. I see Snoop as a true Neo-Reagan Republican for the 21st Century. More conservative than McCain or Giuliani, and no public faux pas like 'Macaca' , because he barks.
Send your checks to: Snoop for President, Florence, SC.
Snoop for President......Because the race for President is gonna go to the dogs anyway!!
7 comments:
We understand that Lincoln and Grant both had fleas and that Clinton soiled the Oval office carpet...
What you need Mike is to give that dog a sedative.
give that dog a bone
Buchanan had balls supposedly, but didn't use them.
I'm tellin ya, if you're not gonna run again, then you need to look in to getting this stuff published. You are too creative not to give it a go.
John, Babe or Pat? (re:Buchanan)
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