Saturday, March 31, 2007

Sen. McCain Awards Green Cards to Mexican Mariachi Cover Band By Accident...Hay Papi!














Sen. John McCain, and his new favorite band, The Ramons..



Republican candidate for President, John McCain had a potentially embarrassing event occur this week, when his office used a band of illegal immigrants as an example for the Senator's amnesty( oops), we mean path to freedom program. As interesting as the story might be politically, the tale of The Ramons is just as interesting, and the brouhaha has enabled the group to book shows months in advance. One might think that a Mariachi band that only plays covers songs from a 70's -era New York punk band might not fly, but think again......


The Ramons illegally entered the US locked inside of a truck from Mexico in 1987. "We spent three days in that truck, and it had a broken cassette player with a Ramones tape stuck in it. That was all we listened to, and by the time we got to the US, we had all the songs memorized", said singer Jose Diaz Valenzuela de Ramon (Joey Ramon). "We figured that was what everyone in the United States listened to. " The world's only Punk-Mariachi band was born. "We heard the street on America were paved with gold. That wasn't true, but we make a good living." Said guitarist Delfina Solis de Ramon(Dee Dee Ramon). The other members are bassist Marco Montoya Cruz de Ramon (Marky Ramon), Violinist Tomassina Rivera Cruz de Ramon (Tommy Ramon), and trumpet player Juan Pablo Hernandez de Ramon (Johnny Ramon).


Since illegally entering the US, The Ramons have been an underground hit in McCain's home state of Arizona. When word of the band's plight reached the Senator, McCain saw it as an opportunity to promote his amnesty plan. 'This is precisely what we are trying to do. These people are hard-working ciitzens, and they deserve a shot at citizenship." However, an investigation revealed that the quintet has collected approximately $675,000 in free government services , without paying taxes. When asked about it, McCain seemed more pale than usual. "OK, maybe not precisely what we're talking about."


Back to the band.... The Ramons incorporate the punk speed and chord progressions, but they keep it in a traditional Marichi style. Instead of counting off "1,2,3,4" they count off "Uno, Dos, Tres, Quattro". Other lyrical changes include "Hey, Ho - Vamanos" from Blitzkreig Bop, "Goya, Goya- Hey" in Teenage Lobotomy, and their hit "I Wanna Be Patriated".


Illegals or not, the Ramons are taking advantage of their 15 minutes of fame. "We are booked all over the Southwest until September", said their manager, Swifty Lopez. "We played the Whisky-a-Go-Go last week. It didn't go too good. I guess they got us mixed up with The Ramones." Two members of The Ramones have been dead since the early part of the decade. Lopez remained undaunted. "Hey, if they send us back, we'll get over again. I can see it now - The Ramons Reunion Tour !! We'll clean up bigtime."



3 comments:

earlcapps said...

gabba, gabba, hola!

Anonymous said...

Coming to you from Jacksonville, Florida tonight. I love this you should take up writing for a living Mike. I wrote and emailed my Senator Graham about his stand on Immigration took about two months for a response I need to touch base with McCain. He will probably give the same excuse as Mr. Graham. We can deport illegals. We can control the border. We can elect someone else.

Thoroughbred 401k said...

My humor is an acquired taste. Bobby's first comment after I showed it to him - "You spelled Ramones wrong".