Mike Reino, political pundit and self-proclaimed Master of Highjinx, announced today that he is challenging House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn to a forum of political ideas and Golf. The purpose is to have a no-nonsense, informal setting to discuss the issues affecting the 6th Congressional district, and to possibly get Reino into a decent golf course, where his parking can be validated.
The idea came to Reino in the middle of the recent 102 he shot at Traces Golf Course in Florence. "We all know Cly loves to play golf, and he's supposed to be way better than me, so I thought a match where he should win easily would be attractive to him. Why not? The district is already handpicked for him." The 6th district is the only African - American majority district in the state, and according to Wikipedia, 'Clyburn has never has a real challenge for the seat." He has also been listed in Golf Digest as one of the top golfers on Capitol Hill.
There has been no comment from the Clyburn camp yet........
Reino meanwhile remains optimistic. "If Whipper will fly, i'll buy. Sure, I'm 28 years younger than him, but I haven't had the past 35 years to practice on the taxpayers dime. I was going to invite him and say that I was a lobbyist for the Transportation Association, but I figured I better do it honestly. I've always said Jimbo doesn't have a monopoly on good ideas. I've got some great plans to bring jobs to the District , and ease our use of fossil fuels in South Carolina, so if the Whipmaster really does care, he ought to take advantage of this free round."
And how does Reino plan on winning ? "Well, Jack Daniel's is sponsoring it, and we know how much Jim loves his Jack and Diet Cokes. My guess is by the 9th hole, he'll be too wasted to even tee off. If that fails, Chester the Mouse is gonna cut his hamstring in two - he'll quit the game."
Any backup plan? "Yeah. Put all the pin placements on the right side of the green, 'cause Jim has never been right, and has never gone right in his life, so I don't expect him to change now!!".
8 comments:
Did you really shoot a 102 at Traces. I know the owner so next time call me. Anybody that bad needs a free game. Not unless you are shooting your age and then if you are 102 and shoot that then it would be a great thing. Confused yet.
Afraid so, Moye. It's been about 4 years since I played. The wet fairways killed my drives, but I hit like an old man. If I could stop pulling my head up, i'd cut 10 stokes off easy.
Jack and Diet Coke may be one way, but Carl, the greenskeeper's blend onf fescue and sensimillian could create a smoke hazard on the green, particularly when golbal warming causes a fire because the bridge to nowhere wasn't built, meaning that the fire trucks couldn't get there to put it out.
I flew into Wichita, Kansas this afternoon and I seen a golf course for you man. Seen no one on it. Believe it or not the weather here is nice tomorrow 70 degrees.
I have seen him play in his tournament. Pretty good golfer.
Hey, I had a par and birdie on the first 4 holes last week...... that is , before my game fell apart.
Have you heard from Clyburn on this.
No, but I suppose I need to call his office to try and set this up. I doubt Jim is marking this one on his to do list.
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