Transparency has been a major issue discussed among the candidates in this year's election. That is, they feel the need to hide nothing from the voters, and to reveal every nook and cranny in the English Muffin known as Election 2008....
John McCain took steps to alleviate those questions this week. First, he finally released some details of his wife Cindy's tax return from her beer distributing business. Sure, it matters nothing, but when your wife is raking in $6 Million a year, somebody will want to know how much. It's really just an attempt to piss off the voters by making them feel jealous of her wealth. As we all know, every candidate in the field is a millinaire, just how much of one is the only question.
The second step was the interesting one. To end the worries about his age and health, McCain's camp released his medical records and health status. Apparently, he is in better health than I am. Not bad for a 72 year old. About all he takes is a cholesterol pill, like anyone over 40. How can a man who has battled melanoma and been in a concentration camp for 5 years be in such good shape? Easy............. He's an Alien Cyborg!
SC6 has uncovered secret CIA documents that reveal McCain was the result of a joint government/private sector project to build the first indestructible man. What we found out from this project was that McCain actuall has never had cancer, but that those "treatments" were actually code for cyborg upgrades. "Radiation" was actually a laser night vision installment, while "Biopsy" was the replacement of all his bones with an enmymetic polyalloy skeletal system. Pretty cool, eh? In addition, every year, instead of his annual physical, McCain gets the battery replaced on his LED display computer system.
So, for those of you worried about McCain's ability to serve out two terms, don't worry - John McCain will never die - it's impossible. Here's a short Terminator clip - in German.