Thursday, May 06, 2010

The Latest Evil - Genius Marketing Kid's Toy

Silly Bandz: If You Haven't Heard Of Them Yet, You Will .....

From the hip-cool blog that told you first about Vampire Weekend and Stealing Rims on Nissan Maximas, we give you the latest craze sweeping across America's elementary and intermediate school classrooms - Silly Bandz !!!

What are they? It's genius, we tell ya - GENIUS !!!! It's rubber bands that when unstretched, have different shapes. Anything from animals to shapes to even cowboys and states. It's yet another example of American Ingenuity... Why? Because kids are buying these things up faster than they can make them - at a retail price of $2.99 a bag of 20. After my limited manufacturing experience, I'd guess they cost about 6 cents a bag to produce and package. Genius - pure F**king genius.....

like any other fad for kids, Silly Bandz are causing problems, and are quickly becoming the biggest classroom pariah since Fahrenheit 451 and Dalton Trumbo books.... What problems do they cause. Gee, what ADD-addled tike is going to pay attention when he/she has rubber bands to screw with? Also, there is the classic problem: have rubber band, will shoot people with them. Yeah, they're a bit distracting. But even better, you have the 'Advanced Moron' who takes them and twists it 27 around his/her hand, or pulls it all the way up his/her arm, until they have no circulation - like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for Kids.... Yes, your kid IS the smartest in his/her class.

With all of these 'problems', what's a teacher to do? Be inventive and somehow incorporate Silly Bands into a lesson plan? HAHAHAHA !!!!!! Maybe when they started 22 years ago, but not so close to pension time. Nope, you be a good Nazi, and you BAN THEM, which of course gives them an early lesson on taboos.... Porn and Marijuana can't be far behind now, can it? Of course, I don't have kids, so WTF do I know? Nope, amke Silly Bandz like Pokemon, and create an outlaw toy that kids now just HAVE TO OWN..... At least they won't go broke getting them, right? Genius my friend.....

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

See what you could have done with a degree in Martketing instead of Economics (or Politcal Science and History)...teg