Convention Season Is Testing My Ability to be in Two Places at the Same Time.....

The SCGOP will be having their convention in early April. In preparation, all of the 46 counties are having their local conventions. This creates a problem for all candidates, because two and sometimes three of these counties are meeting at the same time. Thus the problem: how do we candidates cover all of these meetings? Each county wants to have the candidate, and not a staffer attend their meeting, but it's hard to be in Aiken and Colleton at the same time, so for every Sanford or Lovelace or Floyd, you get his unpaid staffer. The problem is worse for zero staff candidates like myself, We don't have staffers to show up for us. last night in Colleton both Ag Candidates had their family members show up. I personally leave my uncle Gino and Cousin Anne-Marie at home - politics isn't thier thing. For candidates like Elizabeth Moffly and Kerry Wood, some counties will be flat out skipped. After doing this juggling act for 3 years now, I've begun to master the Samson Method ( Splitting the Candidate in Two). 1. New County? Anyone Will Do. Being an unknown, most people don't know what I look like. So I might just send someone else out instead. 2. The Unabomber Method I learned this from Gary McLeod. Lock yourself in your outhouse in Montana until primary season rolls around, then send random e-mails from the " Nationwide Organization" that you started. Mystery sometimes does make you more interesting.....On the Lifetime Channel. 3. The Scorched Earth Policy Too many counties to cover? No problem! Just take a random county here and there, and just go on a verbal tirade until they ban you from that county permanently. Problem solved. Yes, I got that from Gary too. One tip: It's hard to win in the 6th District when you can't go to Florence County. Good Luck, Buddy! 4. Your Twin Steps In. Have two real important places to be at the same time? I've got a tip for that too. Everyone has someone who looks just like them. Maybe it's a brother, sister or fellow Aryan Brotherhood member. Personally, I use Carlton from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or Vinnie Delpino from Doogie Howser when I'm in a pinch.