Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I'm Nancy Pelosi ..... I'm Your Density.


Scientists Identify House Speaker as Most Dense Element On Earth?
No, I can't take credit for this one - I got this from The Patriot Post today.. Thought some of you might enjoy it...
" Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has identified with certainty, the heaviest element known to Science. The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it a total atomic mass of 312....."
"These 312 particles are held together by forces called Morons, which are surrounded by vast lepton-like particles called Peons. Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that might normally take less than a second, to take anywhere from 4 days to four years to complete...."
"Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years, but it does not decay, rather it undergoes a bienneial reorganization in which the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. Pelosium mass will increase over time, as each reorganization will promote many Morons to become Isodopes. This characteristic of Moron Promotion leads soem scientists to think that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration - this hypothetical quantity is what scientists call Critical Morass."
"When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many Peons, but twice as many Morons." C'mon, that's pretty good.... Speaking of density.........
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