Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Hank the Cat: The PUUUUUURRRRRRRFECT Senator for Virginia.

Vote For Hank: Because MEOW Is the Time, MEOW Is the Place!

    Perhaps you've heard about this today, but just in case..... It seems that the Virginia Senate race between former governors Tim Kaine and George 'Macaca' Allen has gotten a bit more interesting.  That's because there's a new candidate in the field... One that doesn't just talk tough, he meows it.  Sure, Kaine and Allen may think they're hard on crime, but this guy's actually killed people - OK, maybe a mouse or bird.

    Say hi to Hank the Cat, a nine year old calico mix from the Cavalier State!  His owners have put him full bore into the Senate race, promoting him with a website, a facebook page, and even a Twitter account. No word yet on if he's filed officially with the FEC yet, but we'll keep you updated.  We guess that since he's Nine, he would qualify for the minimum age to run - at least in cat years. he's gotta be at least 50 in that respect. In my house nine years for a cat would be TWO lifetimes!

    We're not sure what his political leanings are, but we all know stances on the issues are irrelevant.... All Hank needs is some slick campaign slogans, so may we humbly admit these copyrighted slogans for our furry friend....

Hank the Cat: Finally, A Candidate With Some Claws
Hank the Cat: Because Allen and Kaine Can't Clean His Litter Box
Hank for Virginia Senate: Sic Semper Felinus !!
Hank the Cat: He's Had His Shots, and Taken Them Too
Hank the Cat: Returning America to that Shining Scratching Post on a Hill.....
Vote for Hank, Because if We're Gonna Have a Bunch of Pussies in DC, Let's Send a REAL ONE!!
Hank the Cat: Who Else Would Piss on Harry Reid's Chair Out of Spite?
Hank the Cat: Yeah, He F**ked Socks..
Vote for Hank: 40 Acres and a Bag of Catnip for Everyone !!
Hank the Cat: Because DC Could Use a Flea Dip..

And if his staff has any brains, they'll call Brian Setzer to play a couple shows for him!




Anonymous said...

Let us guess dustballs and expired milk have longer life expectancy than cats and dogs?

Mike Reino said...

In my house, yes.. I once had a gallon of milk run for County Council - got 37% of the vote! Wait, that was me.....