We have received reports from Republicans in Sumter County that a local legendary monster has been sighted in the area for the first time in a few years.... No, it wasn't Bigfoot, Hogzilla, the Chupacabra or Swamp Thing. Reportedly, it was Sixth District Vice Chairman, Mike Reino....
Rumors have abounded on his existence or location for nearly 2 1/2 years... Some thought that he had been swallowed by an alligator while searching for an errant golf ball in Meggett.. Others said he took his guitar, and currently the tambourine player in Florence and the Machine. Still some have said he went on a hunger strike and would not eat again until a Republican won the 6th District, and died some time later. Apparently, the rumors were all false....
We uncovered a shadowy, blue-shirted figure in the trees adjacent to the Sumter Elks Lodge last night. Though the grainy object does seem furry like Sasquatch, it appears to be about 2 feet smaller than previous sightings. Also, the dress shoes and slacks lead us to believe it is just Reino with some facial hair....
Some of the counties in the 6th District and Pee Dee have been safe from the Four Horsemen member and Vice-Chair for a while. However, with this most recent sighting, local parties must be on notice that they could be attacked by this creature at any time, anywhere... And they all thought it would be quiet since the Primary was over.
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3 comments:
Reino comes to town, Leventis withdraws from senate race. Hmmmm...
Not enough ponytail or kippot, so it aren't Earl...
Braden, if Boss says push a button, then I push a button... I had this Lebanese mechanic in NY, that everytime he went 'home', someone big died. First it was Bin Laden, then it Qaddafi....
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