Friday, January 06, 2006

You Can Learn a lot from an Alcoholic........

I did something Wednesday night that I had never done before. I went to an AA meeting. Not for myself, but for my brother, who was visiting. He's been sober for 7 months now, and so dedicated to recovery that he wouldn't take a day off while on vacation, 700 miles from home.
Growing up, I idolized him. He taught me to play guitar, told me not to smoke, and every joke or imitation I can do, I learned from him. After college, I started to see the demons that would hold his life back for 44 years. The destructiveness he had and the deliberateness with which he did it caused the two of us to switch roles. I had to drag him home, make sure he went to work, paid the bills, etc. For a very long time, I swore he'd never live past 40.
Most people would say , "send him to rehab". Well, no one was paying for it, and here is the part some people don't get. If the abuser does not want to recover, he will not. Throwing an objecting alcoholic in rehab is a waste of money, and only delays the relapse. The person needs to WANT to recover, and it didn't happen with my brother until 7 months ago.
I won't and can't go into what goes on at AA, but I will say that is does require full and unflinching self-examination. You simplify life, eliminate the things that affect your well-being, and find success in the smaller events - the ones we take for granted.
He's not a completely different person now. The sense of humor is still there ( His favorite AA joke: What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? A drunk doesn't have to go to those meetings!). Like an onion, he's peeled away the bad tendencies, and just left the parts that everyone likes about him.
He left to go home today, and I had to let him know I was proud of him. He's managed to get his license back for the first time in 20 years, he has a good job, and his 7 year old daughter is the best kid I've ever met. In that one hour Wednesday, I was retaught a lesson that we all could learn from: Take a good look at yourself every now and then, fix what you don't like about yourself, and life will be a lot easier. One Day at a Time........

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