My Open Application for Gov. Sanford's Chief of Staff...

Dear Gov. Sanford,
I read that you were looking for a New Chief of Staff, so I would like to put my name into the hat for your consideration. While it may be a safe bet to pick someone that you know and trust, like Tom Davis, I disagree. I can't tell you exactly why, but I disagree.

If I look familiar, it's because I've seen you on the campaign trail all the time. Not like the stalker/get a restraining order type, just a big fan.. You might remember me at the VFW hall in Goose Creek in 2004 - I kept trying to stuff a copy of my tax incentive plan in your jacket. Or last year at Sparkleberry Swamp - I was the one who flattened Clyburn's tires.. Like I said , I'm a big fan.

I do have leadership experience in politics too. I, uh.... Well, I was Vice President of the Republicans for Tommy Moore at USC - Salkehatchie. You see, it was Rush Week, and I was pledging Delta Upsilon Mu, so I thought the whole thing was a fraternity prank. I mean, did that group really exist? I spent half the Fall semester waiting for one of my DUM brothers to tell me the whole thing was a joke! Next thing I know, I'm getting congratulations from Jakie Knotts for getting 47% of the vote in Colleton County......Sorry.

All that aside, I think I'm an ideal guy for you. I shop with coupons, I haven't paid for lunch in years, and I still drive the same 85 Nissan Pulsar that I had in high school.. With a little work, I think I can get the State budget down to zero in about 3 years.

There are my qualifications. You can send a message in the comments if you want to have a meeting sometime. Congratulations on your victory, and I look forward to leading your team for the next 4 years.

Sincerely,

Mike