Thursday, June 21, 2012

SC6 Fake News: Stuffed Animal Only Remaining Endorsement

His Name Is Mister Cuddles... And He's the Only Thing That Hasn't Endorsed Andre Bauer or Tom Rice in Tuesday's Runoff !


      With the huge 7th Congressional District GOP runoff only five days away, the campaigns have been locked in mortal combat for endorsements all week.  Awash in a flood of recommendations from former Presidential candidates and congressmen to dog catcher and bloggers (the bloggers ranked just behind the dog catchers), voters are dazed and confused by all the political bullets flying back and forth... SC6 has done some homework, and we are able to confirm what you probably already thought - EVERY single person in the 7th District has endorsed one or the other of the candidates.  There is no one left - except one, and we found him!



     Meet Mister Cuddles.... he is officially the ONLY living or inanimate object in the District yet to endorse Tom Rice or Andre Bauer in Tuesday's runoff - and apparently, he's staying that way... We found him yesterday on our way back from Laurinburg yesterday.  The stuffed dog puppet was sitting on the side of Highway 381 between Clio and Blenheim when we came upon him.... We asked out of curiousity who he was voting for, and he muttered 'I'm staying neutrered - I mean neutral - in that race.'  We asked why, but he refused to answer.. Since that time, he's been sitting pretty quietly on top of the dresser in our guest bedroom, and it appears he will stay that way until Tuesday...



    Now, to some it may seem strange to seek the advice of a stuffed animal for guidance in a political race..... but when you think about it, he has no axe to grind or any profit motive behind it either.  To us, it seems pretty wise to not give advice, especially when no one is asking..  Perhaps he's waiting for one of the campaigns to call and make some kind of offer - like Congressional Aide in Charge of Animal Affairs.  If anything like that happens, we'll let you know.  Until then, our advice is for you to ask one of the other 600,000 plus endorsers for advice.  Better yet, make up your own mind....


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3 comments:

JT said...

Ok, gotta ask now, who's ahead? Any internal polling you heard about? I want to say Andre will win but hard to guess. JT

BBD said...

Hahaha...I just got to say this is some of your very best work Mike Reino...Do let us know if the campaigns call with that "Animal thingy position" we are sitting on the edge of our seat waiting for just the right endorsement to make up our minds. . ... And Tuesday is a coming... . . (but not soon enough!)

Bill Pickle said...

This just in! Unverified reports say Mr. Cuddles has decided NOT TO ENDORSE either candidate for the 7th Race. Mr. Cuddles is reported to say "Either candidate is better than the people running on the Democratic ticket and will represent the citizens of the 7h Congressional District much better than their opposition across the isle."

IMHO...wise words from Mr. Cuddles.