Friday, August 14, 2009
SC6 Fake News: Sixth District Files Missing Persons Report on It's Congressman ...
Authorities in both Santee and Columbia have confirmed that a pair of missing person's reports have been filed in their respective towns to locate Sixth District Congressman and House Majority Whip James Clyburn. Aside from a recent clip of him at a 3rd District Town Hall meeting - where he appeared dazed and incoherent - Clyburn has not been seen in public since Congress broke for it's August recess three weeks ago.
A SLED official, who asked not to be identified for fear of being audited on his taxes as retribution, confirmed that an APB is out to locate The Whipper. "At first, we thought he was just laying to avoid all the mess with this Health Care Bill, but when he showed up in the Upstate, all confused and angry looking, we knew something was rotten in Denmark - and Olar, and Orangeburg."
Clearly, after his performance Upstate, where he fell asleep multiple times, and was obviously agitated with having to listen to questions of South Carolinians - not even from his own district - state officials are worried. It is the fact that Clyburn appears to have forgotten what district he represents that has people worried. " How the heck he even got there, we still don't know.... By now, he could be babbling like an idiot anywhere from Anderson to Beaufort. We need to get him home, talking to his own constituents", the anonymous official stated.
Meanwhile, voters in his 'home' of Florence, Sumter , Manning and Orangeburg are looking for their Congressman, in the hopes of also getting an opportunity to discuss issues facing their district. If you have seen Clyburn, SLED asks that you contact the State Headquarters in Columbia, so they can evaluate him, give him some milk and cookies, and bring back home to the district that he has apparently forgotten that he represents....