Friday, August 14, 2009

SC6 Fake News: Sixth District Files Missing Persons Report on It's Congressman ...

Authorities in both Santee and Columbia have confirmed that a pair of missing person's reports have been filed in their respective towns to locate Sixth District Congressman and House Majority Whip James Clyburn. Aside from a recent clip of him at a 3rd District Town Hall meeting - where he appeared dazed and incoherent - Clyburn has not been seen in public since Congress broke for it's August recess three weeks ago.

A SLED official, who asked not to be identified for fear of being audited on his taxes as retribution, confirmed that an APB is out to locate The Whipper. "At first, we thought he was just laying to avoid all the mess with this Health Care Bill, but when he showed up in the Upstate, all confused and angry looking, we knew something was rotten in Denmark - and Olar, and Orangeburg."

Clearly, after his performance Upstate, where he fell asleep multiple times, and was obviously agitated with having to listen to questions of South Carolinians - not even from his own district - state officials are worried. It is the fact that Clyburn appears to have forgotten what district he represents that has people worried. " How the heck he even got there, we still don't know.... By now, he could be babbling like an idiot anywhere from Anderson to Beaufort. We need to get him home, talking to his own constituents", the anonymous official stated.

Meanwhile, voters in his 'home' of Florence, Sumter , Manning and Orangeburg are looking for their Congressman, in the hopes of also getting an opportunity to discuss issues facing their district. If you have seen Clyburn, SLED asks that you contact the State Headquarters in Columbia, so they can evaluate him, give him some milk and cookies, and bring back home to the district that he has apparently forgotten that he represents....



mg said...

you bad

Anonymous said...

Mike--Jim-boy won't have a town hall in his district because he knows we are organizing and growing. Besides that do you really think he wants a town hall where you,Moye,Earl and I might all show up. Dusty Rhodes tried that once on the orginal four horseman and came away with a few broken bones. Can you imagine what we would do to Jim-boy?

Further you know why Clyburn doesn't have any town halls in the 6th district? He couldn't find the 6th ditrict with Google Earth and Wikipedia!!

Keep up the hard work everyone, we are slowly going to take back both the 5th and the 6th, we should pick a 7th district in 2012. We are going to return Senator DeMint to to Senate and sweep the General Election in 2010.

Very soon we will be able to say we have a Congressman from the 6th District for all of the 6th District...teg