Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Bowl Names Get Dumber and Dumber ....

The Potato Bowl ??? Are We F**king Kidding ???? Time for Marketing 101 Again, Guys....


    It's that time of year again!  No, not BOGO at Payless, or McRib being back at McDonald's... It's college bowl time.  They call it Bowl Week, but it's obviously WAAAYYY longer than a week.  For people my age and older, we've seen a big change in Bowl Season.  The whole season ended on New Year's Day.  We've gladly given that up for the BCS Championship. No, it's not perfect, but we'll take it.


    The games used to get more important as the week went on, but that's down the tubes as well.  There are NO GAMES on New Year's Day... They didn't want to interfere with the NFL schedule, so the usual games are now Tuesday, when we're all back to work, followed by games on each weekday afterwards.  Of course, the big game is preceded by two crap bowls in Alabama, before the BCS on January 9th... 9th!!  You want to know why BCS games often suck?  Because they haven't played a down for six weeks! It's like watching a first scrimmage in camp....except it's for the National Championship.


     The goofiest thing to us is the weirder and weirder bowl names.   It used to be simple: Holiday, Gator, Cotton, Sugar, Rose, Orange.  No sponsor names, no dot.com's.  The first one we remember is the Sun Bowl becoming the John Hancock Bowl, and the Fiesta Bowl tacked Tostitos on the name.  After that, it just took off.... The bowls seemed to have lost the focus on the games or teams, and just concern the sponsorship and money.  Some bowl names are OK, but others are frigging stupid.  Lets grade them all...

Gildan New Mexico Bowl - C.  Hey, where is the game anyway?  Lack of ingenuity in the name, and a t-shirt maker seems a dull sponsor for a spicy state like New Mexico.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl - D+.   Horridly cliche'd name made even worse with using the term 'Famous'.... as opposed to the infamous spuds, or potatoes of no particular distinction.  Nothing like adding to the joke, is there? We know, Idaho - you're proud of your potatoes..

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - C.  Nothing screams The Big Easy like a cargo company.  Yeah, New Orleans has a port.  But, this is one where R&L could have left it's name off.  It's not like you're going to get business from this. No one cares, guys.

Beef 'O' Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl - D.   Much like the previous one, but there are some sponsors that have names that just don't need to be on a bowl game - and Beef O Brady's is it!  We've been to Florida twice, and never heard of Beef O'Brady's .... Say it ten times, and see how stupid you feel. Now you know how the announcers will feel..

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. C+.  Could you make it longer, guys?  No marketing tie-in, other than the game is in San Diego.  We had it at D+, but knocked it up a grade because at least Poinsettias have SOMETHING to do with Christmas.

MAACO Bowl Las Vegas - C.  Vegas adds zest to anything, right?  Well, this says blah to us... A auto body repair franchise says nothing Vegas to us... At least MAACO can keep the bowl franchise and put it anywhere else.  How about MAACO Bowl Long Island?  We have enough body shops up here...

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl - B.   Ahh, one that makes sense to us.  You think Hawaii, you think vacation, right?  One grade off for using the sponsor in the name, but the rest fits.

AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl, D+.  Terrible, terrible, terrible... WTF is an AdvoCare V100?  We don't know either.  The name is like a sledgehammer. You take an All-American term like Independence, and wreck it with Neo-Tech AdvoCare V100... God awful.

Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl - B.   Any sponsor takes a grade off. Aside from that, we're cool with it. Pizza and football go well, and the game is in Detroit, home of Pan, Pan..

Belk Bowl - D.  Just when we thought the Continental Tire Bowl sucked, it gets worse.  WTF does Belk have to do with football? Maybe the teams will dress in Donna Karan inspired uniforms.  It's in Charlotte, so why not the Belk Queen City Bowl? That'd get at least a C. Might be our worst grade...

Military Bowl - A.  Just as it should be.  No sponsor, no dot.com, it's in DC, and Air Force is playing in it... Good Luck , Toledo!  It's what bowls USED to be...

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl - C.  Too long, and exactly who are you guys? No doubt we'll find out during the commercial breaks... 

Champs Sports Bowl - B.   A decieving B to us.. Short name  helps a lot, but most people might not be familiar with the Sporting Goods retailer, as opposed to Foot Locker.  But, it is an obvious good relationship..

Valero Alamo Bowl - C+.  We'll give a plus just that Valero sounds like it goes with The Alamo, although it used to just be Alamo Bowl. If Alamo Rent a Car were still around, it would've been ideal, but they'd just add the Rent a Car anyway..

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl - C+.  Good cross marketing, and honoring our military, but Bell Helicopter pretty much pushed their old buddy LBJ into Vietnam, and some remember that.  Also, no branch of the military is in the game.  Nice try...

New Era Pinstripe Bowl , B-.   Not bad, but there are some non-bowl like factors making it tough.  There is too much of a baseball feel here.  New Era makes ball caps, and the pinstripes are for the game site - Yankee Stadium.  Enjoy the game outdoors, because it's gonna be frickin' cold...

Franklin Am. Mortgage Music City Bowl - D+.  Simply put, TOO DAMN LONG... Six words!  It inspires us for our ow bowl next year - The Mike Reino SC6 Republican/Conservative Blog Palmetto State Carpetbagger Bowl....Our suggestion to the FAM people - drop the 'M', and pick a shorter bowl next time.

Insight Bowl- B+.  This is making something good from nothing.  Nice and short, and the sponsor's name doesn't sound corporate. 'Insight' just makes it sound like this bowl knows SOMETHING the other bowls don't.  Kudo's....

Meineke Car Care of Texas Bowl - C.  OK, so the Meineke dealer around the corner from my house DOESN'T give a crap about the game?  Why go see him? We all are getting sick of Texas pushing Texas so much... Rick Perry is finding that out, maybe Meineke - which sounds about as Texan as Chicago deep dish pizza - will too. Drop the 'of', and call it the Meineke Texas Bowl.  We know who you are.

Hyundai Sun Bowl/ AutoZone Liberty Bowl, B-.   Yeah, we're starting to get a little tired (another problem, too many bowls), so we're lumping these two together.  Good minimalist job by keeping the original name in there, without too much of yours. Down a tick for no cross reference for the sites...

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl - B.  We're torn all over the place on this one.  Great cause, but it's a bit of a downer.  Plus Kraft is the one making the food, so they could fight it with one hand behind it's back.   And the game is taking place in - GULP! - San Francisco.  We see a football game, but expect three hours of liberal preaching on every commercial break.

Chick-Fil-A Bowl, C-.   This is a totally biased score.  This is the Peach Bowl, was the Peach Bowl, and has ALWAYS been the Peach Bowl!  Chick Fil A dumped the name, and we still haven't forgiven them.  Here's a suggestion: add the Peach back, and cross market Peach Tea for December with it.  Yes, we have good ideas for everything....

TicketCity Bowl, B-.  Kudos for shortness, but unlike Insight, TicketCity is obviously a sponsorship.  Oh, and ANOTHER bowl game in Texas, one of six... Doesn't exactly make you want to go, does it?

Outback Bowl, B. Nice and short, but we wonder what Tampa has to do with Australia?  At least it's short. Aside from that, we can live with it.

Capital One Bowl, B-.  Much like the Outback Bowl, except we think CapOne is a more obvious sponsorship.  That, and we think it should be the Gamecock Bowl, because South Carolina seems to be in it every year.

Taxslayer.com Gator Bowl, C+.  It sounds cool, but again, let's wreck New Years Day by reminding you it's time to do your taxes.  Yippee!!  Gator Bowl - probably the best bowl game name.  Taxslayer: ugh!

BBVA Compass Bowl/ GoDaddy.com Bowl - C.  Two shit bowl games, with four shit teams in Alabama, with two sponsors that have nothing to do with he locations.  Seriously, these games should be held on December 18th, not the days preceeding the Championship Game. Based on the irrelevance, the C is being kind....

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl/ Allstate Sugar Bowl/ Discover Orange Bowl/ AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic.  B-.  They're all the same: great bowl games that have been co-opted by corporate America. Damn Shame.  We also miss the fact that the teams in the games aren't tied to the conferences like they used to, but by the BCS, and at-large bids. At least Notre Dame hasn't been getting unearned bids lately. But they will soon... Which leaves us with one more.


Rose Bowl - A+.  It isn't the Granddaddy of them all for nothing.  No sponsor.  no dot.com, no change of venue every year. Most of all, it's still the Big Ten champ versus the PAC-10 (now 12) Champ every year, unless either makes the BCS Championship.  College football like it used to be.  Beautiful....


Damn, that was long!  Hope you enjoyed it, and add any critiques you wish.... Play ball!!

.

7 comments:

Ron McGill said...

Mike you need to do a bit of research about the Capital One bowl. Carolina has never been to it. Well, back in 74 I think when it was the tangerine bowl. This is the first time as Capital One Bowl. Carolina has been to the Outback Bowl twice in the early 2000's

Mike Reino said...

You are correct, Sir. I didn't bother to look it up, but I do remember USC being in the same bowl every year back during my Enterprise days.. Got 'em mixed up.

Ron McGill said...

YOU SERVED ON A STARSHIP? Which Captain did you serve under? Kirk or Picard?

Mike Reino said...

Well, I did resemble Worf when I had my goatee....

mg said...

I have two extra tickets to the Orange Bowl.

west_rhino said...

FWIW Belk boutht the naming rights whan Menike moved thier bowel, er bowl to (or in) Texas...

mg said...

Can you repeat that west_rhino?