Light Up, Dammit ! LIIIIIIIIIIIGHT !!!!!!
For those of you who think that Washington DC is incapable of doing even the smallest task without screwing it up....... We give you further proof that you are correct. Yesterday, the official Capitol Christmas Tree was lit by Speaker John Boehner. Or at least it was supposed to have lit up.
Yeah, it started out OK, then on two occasions, the tree stopped lighting. the official word was that the wiring got wet and shorted. Being the untrusting conspiracy theorists that we are (or at least our readers are), we have a couple, more likely ideas of what happened. Here they are:
1. Environmentalist Kooks unplugged it before being pepper sprayed.
2. Tea Party Caucus refused to keep it lit until confirming that the tree was actually PAID FOR.
3. Barack Obama vetoed the lighting, citing that he needed until 2013 to decide if the tree was a good idea or not.
4. An Occupy DC protestor accidentally drove a tent spike thru the extention cord.
5. The power was deliberately cut off until Grover Norquist had the tree sign a promise that it would BE LIT, and ALWAYS stay lit.
6. Boehner was following directions from Mitt Romney, who kept saying, "Turn it on. No wait - shut it off! No, wait - turn it on!"