Monday, June 11, 2007

Holy Cannoli !! The Sopranos Ends...... Italian-American Actor Unemployment Rate Hits 98% Overnight !!


Panic has struck among the Goombata's in Hollywood, as the final episode of the Sopranos aired last night. While lead actor James Gandolfini will enjoy the time off to recharge his batteries (and return for the movie, which is almost a certainty), dozens of greaseballs are sweating out the lean times in what will be known as ATS - After the Sopranos.
Bit actor Vinnie Puzzelli made a nice living as a stand-in for the show's 8 seasons, now he is living on table scraps and comtemplating begging in the streets. " It's a friggin' nightmare, paisan! I thought this gig would last forever, now I'm stuck with a Mustang GT with 64 payments left. I'm totally sh*tting a brick."
Angela Graziano has had an easier time. A perennial customer in scenes at the Hair Salon, she will miss the steady work. " Not for nothing........This sucks. Now I gotta go back to doing stunts for Susan Lucci on 'All My Children'....... She is such a biotch!"
While their lives will be different, some will have the same routine, but with different perks. Dante Pescatore was known as the counterman at Satriale's Meat Market. And now?? "I'll still be cutting meat here like before, but I'm gonna lose my SAG card. Who knew I'd get residuals just for saying, "Pound of Cappicola, Tony??"
As for job oppotunities in the future, Puzzelli is not optimistic... "There's nothing in the hopper right now. Scorcese's doing Irish gangs, DiPalma doesn't do Mafia, and Coppola's been off the radar for a decade, although after seeing 'Godfather III' , I would probably skip and crap he was making anyway - I have my principles. Hey is Spielberg doin' any Italian stuff?"
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is it sad that I never seen any of the shows.

Anonymous said...

Ditto, though sadder still is the guy that can only find SAG work stunt doubling for Rosie O'Sow, though he doesn't have to shave.