Look, Up In the Sky!! It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's - The President? Obama to Become the Man of Steel.. Or Is That Man of Steal?
(Bogota, Colombia)- Frustrated by repeated mistakes in judgement by various Cabinet members, government agencies and Congress, President Barack Obama has decided to fire the entire US government - and do it all himself!
It's been a frustrating period for Obama, particularly the past two weeks. The recent wasting of over $825,000 by the Government Services Administration (GSA), combined with members of the Secret Service hiring Colombian prostitutes during his recent visit and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton partying it up with beers and dancing at just about the same time has put Obama at the end of his rope. Add all that with Attorney General Eric Holder's Fast and Furious fiasco, and the Democratic Senate failing to pass a budget, and the President made his mind up - EVERYONE needs to see the doorway.
But it's not just that... Obama has relieved everyone at every branch of government, from Dept Secretaries to office secretaries.. In the past 24 hours, the President has been spotted at the welfare department, issuing Food Stamps in Florida, to delivering the mail in Ohio. Yes, despite being the sole Federal employee in America, Obama is still focusing on the swing states first. Hey, the guy still has an election to win....
The reaction to Obama's decision has been a mixture of surprise from Democrats, and usual disappointment from Republicans. A former White House staffer, who was let go yesterday said, "It's kind of awe inspiring, seeing him trying to do it all. He's been pretty giving it the old Knute Rockne - although he DID miss a meeting with the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe today. Hey, his motto in 2008 was Yes We Can. It's still that, except it's just Yes I Can now." As usual, even this effort is not enough to satisfy Republicans... Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) noted "We hoped by letting everyone go, we'd see a significant decrease in the budget deficit, but apparently, he's just given them all a paid leave of absence, so we're out of luck. It's pretty disappointing for America."
Though we personally haven't seen the President in action at his new duties, we picture a scenario reminiscent of Jim Carrey in 'Bruce Almighty' - except God CAN do everything, and be there for everyone..
We feel for you, Buddy!