Some of You Have Been Waiting a While on This - Including Her....I've been kicking this around for some time, due to obvious reasons, but it still isn't any easier for me to do this, but I need to..... After 14 months of work, sacrifice and triangulation, I am about ready to give up on any type of friendship/relationship with Ms. X..
It turns out that I have completely misread how Ms. X felt about me all this time. No, I never thought she was in love with me, but I did think there was something there. What was there appears to be a litany of lies.... The lines of communication seemed to be reopened this week, but it turns out that she was just fishing for info on how I found her online... It's America - anyone can find anyone if you try. I'd tell you if it weren't, but after five days of waiting on answers to a few of the bigger questions, I haven't gotten an answer. All I wanted was a comment saying that she forgave me, and it never came. That says it all.
I won't be a jerk and out her in the hopes that maybe things will be fixed, but here is what I know.... Yes, she worked at the Trophy Club. No, she's not there anymore. She told me her real name was Allison - first lie. She said she had a girlfriend - nope. Her boyfriend was always there , and I used to tell him a lot how much I cared about her, which makes me feel pretty stupid. To cover the lie further, the 4AM birthday call was another scheme, where she made the 'girlfriend' call me. It was then that I knew her real name , and I never let on about it. I bought her a lighter for Christmas with the wrong name on it ON PURPOSE to make her think i didn't buy it all....
So yes, I was scammed by a stripper and her boyfriend until by bank account was almost gone, all my friends wanted to leave, and I got so screwed up by it all, that I lost my job - twice. It was hard to stay in Hilton Head when the girl you care about whispers in your ear that she misses you, and she wants you to come home - and I needed to come home anyway, so thanks. But when you spend the entire month of July worrying if you'll be sleeping in your car 5 days a week, it takes it's toll, and you reach out to others a little.
Still, I would rather make up and be friends, but if there is no interest there, fuck it. I tried, and tried, and even when I knew better, I tried some more. Despite everything, it still bothers me to think that Ms. X is pissed at me. I can only assume that she knows I know she's been full of shit with me for a year, and its easier to just blow me off. Doing the right thing is harder, but i've tried to make it easier - not easy enough though.
I'll leave the door open a crack here, because I do still care, but I need to move on. All I tried was to help you, Princess, and I think you did appreciate it. I still don't think you're a bad person, and maybe you don't forgive me, but I forgive you..BTW, the free gift for your birthday was a Voter Registration form. You can do it online too......Here's one last clip for you - again ! Good luck.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PWfB4lurT4
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25 comments:
ummmmmmm...i guess all i can say is live and learn. so crack open the urban dictionary and look up stripper. here, i'll do it for ya.
STRIPPER:
an occupation that involves taking (stripping) one's clothes off for the sexual stimulation of others. most strippers are female.
1) when a woman is a stripper, the only thing she has to be proud of herself is her body. her mind, her creativity and her emotions ultimately become something of little value and importance. it is depressing to know that some women think that the only thing valueable about themselves is their body and what they can do with it.
2)I went down to Barney's strip club last night, and this hot stripper gave me the best lap dance of my life. And she was wearing crotchless panties, score!
3)Beth always takes her clothes off and spins them around when her friends are over. She's such a slutty little stripper.
now lets look up karma...something Ms.X is gonna have to deal with.
karma:
The Buddhist belief that whatever you do comes back to you, e.g. if you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa.
it's comin' around Ms.X...better duck!
I might disagree with the creativity.. People can be very creative if they're trying to separate you from your $$$$ - otherwise, we'd never have that Nigerian inheritance scam...
If Karma is true, then there must be some evil shit in my past, 'cause I'm hitting a bunch of bad karma lately...
karma is nothing but a smile it does come around i know it exist out there
In all fairness, I was quite liquid when we met.. And when I wasn't, she got a bit more scarce. Still, I did offer a lot more than she accepted - A LOT MORE.
pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start swinging with a smile on your face.
As a buddhist, I can tell you that this principle from the prophet might make you feel better.
"if you sit by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will come floating by..."
You will have to do nothing Mike. It it the second part of the whole principle of Karma and doing good things versus bad things.
You really seem to be a good guy who helps others and doesn't seek out opportunities to take advantage of others.
Be bold and and the mighty forces will prosper around you.
Thanks for the inspiring words, Anon. It's great to get a pat from friends and those that you may not know too.
My only question about sitting by the river is that that would only be true if your enemies die upstream of you, right? Only kidding !!
you never have to get even it works itself out for sure man why do you think i always come out on top because i am a good person thats why
You should be able to talk to your ex then. Is she too crazy to deal with?
I'm unclear about your whole situation. These questions may help you. 1. Did this entertainer ever meet you anywhere other than her place of employment? 2. Did she ever have sex with you? I can understand protecting her true identity from lustful men by giving them a false name. If the answer to the two above questions is no, then it sounds like the only person scaming you was you.
Mike you talking about me. My ex is very successful an Engineer makes great money at Taxpayers expense. We have been divorced over thirty years. My kids are in their mid thirties. I have no reason to talk to her. I owe her no alimony or child support. I do appreciate the fact she had our kids so we will always have that but again what would we talk about and why. When we split we split that is why they call them ex. I wish her no harm but I do not know the woman nor do I wish to. She is the past and to be perfectly honest we were not married that long and I really do not know her. You really do need to go to Costa Rica with me man. Old relationships are like ghost you have to face them but you have to let them go. I certainly do not hate her and never have as I hate no one because hate eats you and your soul. Believe me I have had relationships that were hard to let go but sooner or later you have to or you just go through life miserable and life is too damn short for that. I aint happy all the time but I believe I am most time. If I get bad thoughts I just get them out my head they may come back but I will just get them out again. And Again. And Again. And Again.
These are a couple on interesting comments to ponder.. Moye, I'm sorry if me asking got you a bit upset with me. I've just always felt that if you have children together, there should be soem communication - but i didn't have kids with my ex, so I'm no expert at all on the topic....
Anon, you bring up some good questions. If you simply go by yes/no, the answers are No and No, therefore on that alone, I have a lot of blame to take for what happened. I'll agree on that point. However, after over a year of seeing someone exclusively, where she calls being with another girl there 'cheating on me', there is some type of relationship built - one I would consider a friendship and nothing more. I've talked with any of the other girls there that I know, and they have come to me and said what happened was not right.
True, the name and status things are typical, so once the wrong cat is let out of the bag, it's hard to put it away. I've told her already that I do understand what happened, but it's falling on deaf ears right now. C'est la vie...
of course the other girls agree with you mike, thats what they are paid to do. We are entertainers. I never took your money. You wanted a dance(or to talk), you got it. You got EXACTLY what you paid for. Our job is to provide a fantasy. BTW, when I noticed that you were getting too wrapped up in the fantasy I debated wheter to cut you off or not, MANY of the employees said no...keep going (so u might want to consider your sources). I also disagree with your use of 'scam.' Put it this way: I'm a waitress at your favorite resturant. You tip me way more than the other waitresses. You eventually start coming in ever chance u get, ordering your food and tipping me. Now is it my fault that your bills don't get paid because you spent it on "time with me?" From my understanding, this is simply called a regular. I think you have made the right decision by 'giving up.' Why would I want to talk someone who has already shown multiple stalker characteristics. Sorry to be so harsh, but my private life has deff. been invaded and of course I feel uncomfortable.
hate to say it, but stripper girl (anonymous) has a point there. i guess it's kinda like politics, both parties have valid points, but it never develops into any progress. hence, we live in a country where nothing gets done, be it laws or strippers.
Trying to equate this conversation with the US going down the toilet is one hell of a stretch.
I had posted a reply, but it's missing... I'll go find it.
I lost that comment, so I'll give the condensed version.
Ms. X, I didn't mean 'scam' about the money. That is my responsibilty, and I'll take full blame. However, the way you work on the job is different than others do it. If you had been a bit more careful about the things you said, we wouldn't be here...Fantasy is nice, but I think you went further than you needed to.
Sorry if I invaded your privacy by using mutual friends to reach you online. Anything that woulkd really be a violation (phone, address,etc.) I don't have, so calm down, dammit.... :)
Seriously though, I am EXTREMELY offended by the 'stalker' comment. I am far from it - I just tried to fix stuff between us, and I've known that I made mistakes for 3 months. All I asked for was acceptance of my apology...
Hope this eases your anxiety a bit. Maybe you weren't at first, but I think you have overreacting way too much since I got back. I always did the right thing when you asked, and I will now, OK? I AM your friend, whether you like it or not!
The door is always open....
By all means, I don't think I took it any further than some do. I didn't meet you for lunch, I didn't stop by your work, we never did anything! You hung out with my alternate persona assumed for work. This may sound EXTREMLY ignorant but...Hate the game, not the player.
yo yo G...for shizzle. it be times to hop in dat pricey ass (Toyota:
A great Japanese Car company who makes quality cars, not like fuckin american companies with their POS junkers which break down like shit)...and moves down da road homey. make for shizzle ya turn dat hat to da side yo.
ok, definition time again from urbandictionary.com
*Please note, a player can be male or female as seen in #4
GAME:
1) The ability to seduce anybody of the opposite sex...or same sex for that matter.
2) a measure of smoothness with the opposite sex
3) lines or moves you use to get the opposite sex into bed
4) a state of being willing to do something
5) that thing from that movie "The Game"
1. PLAYER
A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin". The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.
A certain class of low-rent, slack-jawed fuckups has decided that backstabbing and misogyny are totally radical, so the word is sometimes used as a compliment or term of endearment between male friends, as in the greeting "what's up, player?".
Gina thought she had found the love of her life when she met Sean, but after she found out he had slept with three of her best friends, she realized that he was nothing but a player.
2. PLAYER
a guy who:
(1) doesn't understand the meaning of relationship
(2) is in full reproductive mode
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts)
(4) often "dates" several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other)
(5) is an asshole!
don't hate the player, hate the game? yeah right!
by squirrelgirl Sep 5, 2005 share this 4 comments
3. PLAYER
guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously
that guy is a player.
4. PLAYER
A man or woman that hooks up with many diffent persons but commits to none and in that process ends up hurting some of those invovled but there is a difference between player and asshole listed below as 1 and 2 and players generally being happy people until they are caught are opposites of the player hater who only hates because he cant play or lost or has a girl who got her heart broke by one and is insecure
1 Male or female that has alot of one night stands or short relationships with many people at once
2 Female or male who has several long term aka " i love you" relationships and tricks each into thinking shes/hes the one
Bobby, you lost me at Fo' Shizzle...
all of yall have lost me
Mike: You're a sucker. Of course, most men are. Here's a dirty little secret about women in general (and I am one so I'm not being sexist here), we like men with money. And if a moneyed man pays interest to us and we're not interested in him, we'll play along to see just how much we can get out of him. You've been had. Lesson to learn here: stay away from strippers. Secondly? Don't admit you cavorted with one in public to begin with. If you think that this little post of yours is going to make her come running back to you, feeling all guilty and the like forget it, it ain't happening. EVER. She got what she was there for. $$$$$$$ And she cares as much for you now as she did all throughout: absolutely nothing. Got it? I doubt it. Again, most men are volunteers, not victims.
Anon,
I mean this in all seriousness.. Thanks for the tough love, although six months ago, I wouldnt have listened. People do have to figure things out for themselves sometimes.
This post may seem like an exercise in self-torture, but there are reasons for it. First, this blog has always been very public, and Ms. X was a small part of it, so I felt obligated to them to let it out.
The second was to finally get her to say what I knew for a while. Yes, it was a little devious, but for once, I was able to manipulate things to get what I wanted for once.
Yes, I went into this voluntarily, and no, I don't expect to hear anything ever again. What I heard this week is nothing like the person I knew ,or thought I knew for a year. I don't know this person at all...
I'll try to prove you wrong. I do have other friends there, so I'll be there on occasion, but not as a customer. I may be slower than some , but I do have the ability to adapt, and move on.
Thanks again..
If your not going as a customer, what are you going as? a stripper?
God No - who wants to see that? Yeah a customer,but not a 'customer'. You hang out, chat with your friends, and throw a few bucks to the girls on stage, but the back room is off limits.
If that means she has to work elsewhere, that's not my problem. I'll what I feel like doing from here on...
i want the number 25 post on this do you know why i shop at the piggly wiggly
No moye, and you will probably NEVER tell me why !!!! :)
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