Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Three Weeks 'Til the Convention, and My Phone Isn't Ringing... Earl ????


See, You Even Get a Pin... I Want the Pin !!!
I've been putting up some pretty good posts here - maybe too many. But, it doesn't seem to be getting you guys motivated to post, so i'll give you something that you love to talk about and pick on - ME !!
A little while ago, Earl had a post on his blog, where I was garnering serious consideration as a Vice-Presidential candidate. It eventually did get me some phone calls from people I don't even know, so it was pretty cool. Now, I have waited patiently for John McCain to enter me into the vetting process, while those Pawlenty, Portman, Sanford and Crist schmucks get free press. Like they say, don't wait for opportunity - make your opportunity. Below , I have listed why I should be the Vice-Presidential nominee...
I Pass the Clinton Test.
Like Bill Clinton says, i am qualified......technically. I'm over 35, I was born in the US, and I've never been convicted of a felony. Case closed. I'm qualified.
I Have Plenty of Time.. For Now.
My schedule is pretty clear right now, so I can go wherever needed right now - but I do have a thing or two in the job hopper, so I need to know pretty quick.
I'm Used to Being Number 2.
I'm good at the Vice-Whatever job. Vice-Chair of Florence County, Vice-Chair of the 6th District, Second Place in the 2004 Primary and 2006 General Elections. Assistant Manager at Toyota. I was made to be Veep !! I kinda like the underling job. Need a guy to greet the President of Ecuador? I'm your guy.. The FFA of Jackson County, Iowa is here for a photo OP? Put me in, Coach - I'm ready to play....
I Can Change the Electoral Map.
Think Barack Obama's been all over the place? He has nothing on me. Yeah, South Carolina is pretty much a lock for the GOP. However, I was born in New York, graduated high school in North Carolina, and my family is from Pennsylvania, and currently makes up HALF of all registered voters in the Keystone State. That's about 100 electoral votes that McCain doesn't have right now. Beats just Minnesota, don't you think?
Chicks Dig Me.
Half of all voters are women, and that Obama wow factor is starting to wear off. The girls are looking for a new flavor of the week, and I can fill that spot pretty well. I HAVE dropped a few pounds this summer after all, and the ladies love my eyelashes... ;)
I'll Make McCain Look Better.
Honestly, i'm pretty intelligent, but I'm not THAT smart. I'm more like the loyal dog that poops on the carpet every once in a while. Ask any of my bosses or ex's... Next to me, McCain will look even better. You don't want a Dan Quayle riding shotgun, but who wants the Number 2 that's smarter then Number 1. We just had that...
That's my case, and I think I've stated it well. I leave it up to the rest of America to start the Draft Reino for VP movement. I'm too humble to start it myself. If McCain picks someone else, I suppose I'll support him/her....... but America will know they got the second best choice. You've got three weeks, America !!
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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe you don't get no steenkin call casue they don't be pimping Chelsea no more...

Thoroughbred 401k said...

And I thought Chelsea really liked me.. It's best anyway - I wasn't forward to meeting the parents, and Chelsea made too much noise anyway..

Anonymous said...

get rid of the facial hair on your chin

Thoroughbred 401k said...

What, and give up on my Klingon look? Worf would be very unhappy...

earlcapps said...

That wouldn't be very logical, but you could live long and prosper.

Ask the Shat-man what he thinks about the idea.

Thoroughbred 401k said...

Shatner said, "Mike........ If you....want....to keep your goat.....then..... do it, man..... do it!!"