This May Be the Weirdest Post I've Ever Written...
Researching information for a blog can lead you down a strange road sometimes.... Here is a prime example. If you've read the blog, you know I occassionally have a post called 'Do you know this person', where I show an ordinary picture of a D-List celebrity. I've had 'Flo' from the Progressive commercials, and the kid who was naked in the pool from the Nirvana album.
Well, I saw another one of those Enzyte commercials, with Smilin' Bob, the happy guy with the permanent erection. It took a little while, but I found out Bob's real name: John Larson. Not the Congressman - although most of them do walk around all day in a daze with a hard-on, right? Great, I got a name, now I needed a regular picture. No such luck, but did I run into something else.
Larson has been missing and presumed dead since June 12, after a boating accident near the Caribbean island of Martinique. Strange...... I haven't found anything that indicates if he ever was found, so I assume he is dead. It is just another odd twist in the story of Enzyte.
Not that it involves Larson, but Enzyte's founder was convicted of a slew of fraud and other charges about a year or two ago. From most reports, Enzyte is a total fraud, but they do still sell about $100 million a year of the little blue pill. What does involve Larson is that Enzyte's brain trust was seriously considering changing Enzyte's name and - GASP !!!! - replacing Smiling Bob. This was from a USA Today article about two weeks before Larson's accident. Seems pretty odd that Larson's job is on the chopping block, then he suddenly disappears.....And now, those Enzyte commercials all over the TV again, smilin' Bob and all. A bit creepy that they're using him still, even though he's dead - or is he? Is this the truth - or the scam of the Century???
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16 comments:
Betcha even death won't get the grin off Bob's face.
It's kinda ghoulish of them to keep airing the ads, don't you think?
Foolish mortal, look closely, then understand that the Church of the Subgenius cannot allow the clone of its Avatar JR "Bob" Dobbs to profane his image.
Venture, IF YOU DARE, to www.subgenius.com
Wonder who made the upside down Chinese flags? Who hid Hoffa's body in the endzone of Shea Stadium? Why do you suffer a lack of slack? Why William Shatner?
the answer is out there...
I already know the upside down Chinese flag is Earl's fault. Jimmy Hoffa is in Giants Stadium, not Shea Stadium, I have no slack because i'm an annoying asshole, and lastly - because Shatner Rules !!!!
See, I have all the answers..
Mike, then who is responsible for the voices in my head?
Earl, I can't even quiet the voices in my own head - you're on your own with that one.
APOSTATE! if you have no slack, you must be a pinko or brainwashed by them...
Then again that explains why you think Hoffa in the the Meadowlands.
Earl, put your tinfoil hat back on.
Hold on, while I get my dictionary. Hmmm. APOSTATE - 'He who shuns his former religion.' But I never went to the Church of Bob - Enzyte or Subgenius.
Putting my hat back on did no good.
Stewart, I like you, you're not like the other guys here in the trailer park.
keep guessing Earl...
frogs and squirrels may scurry at midnight, but you've got to get up pretty early to find Mr. Limp@ your window.
I know, Earl... but i'll keep quiet.
I have a gif file of Bob waving. If you want it just email me at suzito1@aol.com
He can't be dead. Wood floats.
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I'm not sure if you have the correct name for the actor...as he has kept that information hidden quite well, but I will tell you that if you watch closely at the NEW production ALLEGRA commercial...you will see a very familiar face and mouth, though he does his best to keep it as closed as possible while reciting the script. New hair didn't fool me.
I've even blogged about it elsewhere..so remember...I saw it first...giggle, LS*
Smiling Bob "IS NOT JOHN LARSON". He is a good friend of mine living in Vancouver BC.
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